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Original poster

Is this what being broody means?!

30 replies

Whatishappeningtomd · 10/01/2021 20:19

I turned 32 in December and all I can think about suddenly is having a baby. I suddenly feel obsessed with baby names and I’ve spent ages on the baby names board today just reading and thinking wistfully about being in that situation?!

I know it’s a pandemic and not a good time etc etc. I’ve been with DP 5 years but we aren’t married yet (we have discussed and agreed it will happen but no firm plans as for when) and I would definitely like to be married first. I’m at a good point in my career but would like to get a bit further before kids as I’m really ambitious and in quite a high pressure role. Financially DP and I would be fine.

I’ve always thought abstractly I suppose that I want children in the future but I’ve always just thought of it as something ‘not right now’.

The thought of losing my freedom and ‘me time’ terrifies me but equally I can’t stop thinking about it? Keep thinking what it would be like if DP and I just stopped using protection. I have always had a fear that I would be unlucky and have fertility issues so I suppose part of it is wanting to ‘know’ if it happens easily.

Is this what being broody is?! I don’t go gaga over babies and I find other people’s children quite tiresome but I just can’t stop thinking about it having our own, even though it terrifies me.

Not sure what the point of this post is really but I wondered if anyone feels the same suddenly!!

OP posts:
Popsicales · 10/01/2021 20:29

This is exactly what being broody means! I feel the same at the moment too. I already have a 2 and 3 year old. Unfortunately it’s not the right time for us to add to our family. I am quite obsessive about thinking about having another baby!

queenofSI · 10/01/2021 20:30

yep!

Cleverpolly3 · 10/01/2021 20:32

If you want a baby you want a baby
Yes you are broody

It doesn’t tend to go away until you lance the book IYSWIM
Didn’t for me anyway, until I became a mother!

Robbybobtail · 10/01/2021 20:35

Yes, you’re broody! If it helps, I have 4 dc’s and I’ve always found other people’s kids tiresome too (mine are perfect obvs Wink)

And I’m honestly not being a cow but at 32 I’d say you probably should get on with it if you’re in the position to do so. I had my 4th at 32 and was classed as an older mother!

ScruffGin · 10/01/2021 20:36

Yes, that's exactly what happened to me, now have a 2 1/2 year old! It's amazing, but sticking with one... Grin

toastfiend · 10/01/2021 20:36

Yep, I'd say so! That's how I felt before I got pregnant with my DS, and I didn't even think I wanted children before that/was terrified about my perceived loss of freedom for most of my pregnancy. FWIW, I still find most other people's children tiresome/don't go gaga over babies, but DS is hands-down the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love being a Mum to him. The things I was worried about paled into insignificance once he was actually here (although I do still feel a certain nostalgia for lazy weekend mornings!)

Mycatwontstopstaring · 10/01/2021 20:36

God, have a baby. I was fertile at 33 and infertile by 35. Don’t wait til the right time, there never is one.

It’s so much fun 🥰

Original poster
Whatishappeningtomd · 10/01/2021 20:37

@Robbybobtail

Yes, you’re broody! If it helps, I have 4 dc’s and I’ve always found other people’s kids tiresome too (mine are perfect obvs Wink)

And I’m honestly not being a cow but at 32 I’d say you probably should get on with it if you’re in the position to do so. I had my 4th at 32 and was classed as an older mother!

I know i shouldn’t leave it too much longer but I kind of had in my head it would be another couple of years.

I also know I could be massively jinxing things and actually find it takes us years or something!!! Sad

OP posts:
Badgerstmary · 10/01/2021 20:38

Exactly this!

Robbybobtail · 10/01/2021 20:39

I’m not saying you would have any problems at all, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you do a sad face! I got pregnant straight away at 32, and you should absolutely do what is right for you - I just sometimes think if you overthink things in life you never do it! Good luck xx

Original poster
Whatishappeningtomd · 10/01/2021 20:39

@ScruffGin

Yes, that's exactly what happened to me, now have a 2 1/2 year old! It's amazing, but sticking with one... Grin
Not convinced I would want more than one as it’s just double the stress and cost I imagine?!? but then my siblings are really important to me (I am one of 3) so I feel I would probably quite like 2....if it happens!!!
OP posts:
Liverbird77 · 10/01/2021 20:40

I used to worry about the loss of freedom but, now that I have them, it's not an issue. My husband offered me the chance to have a weekend away with friends while he looked after them but I really don't want to be without them!
There isn't much "me" time with a baby, but it gradually gets better.

Original poster
Whatishappeningtomd · 10/01/2021 20:41

@toastfiend

Yep, I'd say so! That's how I felt before I got pregnant with my DS, and I didn't even think I wanted children before that/was terrified about my perceived loss of freedom for most of my pregnancy. FWIW, I still find most other people's children tiresome/don't go gaga over babies, but DS is hands-down the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love being a Mum to him. The things I was worried about paled into insignificance once he was actually here (although I do still feel a certain nostalgia for lazy weekend mornings!)
I was thinking today how blessed I am to have a totally relaxing day where all I really needed to do was walk the dog and a bit of pre work week housework - I could have just watched Netflix all day if I had wanted to! Do I want to give that up?! Blush
OP posts:
LimeTreeGrove · 10/01/2021 20:43

I think your age is a good age to be getting on with it if you want kids. Obviously not everyone is in a position to at that age and I know people who left it a few years later and it was fine. But you never know, so if you can...

MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee · 10/01/2021 20:44

Yup! I felt exactly that from about 30 onwards. Had 2 kids by 34 then! You have time but not acres of it If you want to get married first ... it might not happen straight away (but then it might - we were first month of trying both times at 31 and 33).

tellthem · 10/01/2021 20:47

have fertility testing to give you an idea of how things are looking..I did this at 29 when my broodyness started but wasn't ready and, and they weren't good so went through the process to create frozen embryos which I then used when I felt ready by 35.

DressingGownofDoom · 10/01/2021 20:55

Netflix isn't that good that I'd put off having children because of it Grin
JK OP - I know that's not what you were saying. Yeah it sounds like you're broody. I never was until I thought I might have accidentally got pregnant one time and took a test. Well that kicked off something in me and i never got rid of it. Pregnant with my second now.

S111n20 · 10/01/2021 20:56

Yes your broody and IMO there’s never a right time.

Original poster
Whatishappeningtomd · 11/01/2021 17:50

@Liverbird77

I used to worry about the loss of freedom but, now that I have them, it's not an issue. My husband offered me the chance to have a weekend away with friends while he looked after them but I really don't want to be without them! There isn't much "me" time with a baby, but it gradually gets better.
How did you get used to it?
OP posts:
Original poster
Whatishappeningtomd · 11/01/2021 17:51

@tellthem

have fertility testing to give you an idea of how things are looking..I did this at 29 when my broodyness started but wasn't ready and, and they weren't good so went through the process to create frozen embryos which I then used when I felt ready by 35.
Where did you go to get tested? Was it extortionate?
OP posts:
FTMF30 · 11/01/2021 17:56

In the early days, there's plenty of time to watch Nerflix during feeds and naps. I would have died of boredom otherwise.

Original poster
Whatishappeningtomd · 11/01/2021 17:57

@FTMF30

In the early days, there's plenty of time to watch Nerflix during feeds and naps. I would have died of boredom otherwise.
I hadn’t thought of that!!!

Also I swear my life isn’t just Netflix.... GrinBlush

OP posts:
FluffySunshineBunny · 11/01/2021 17:58

I did those fertility tests they are capturing a moment in time! So be warned. They could say you are perfectly fertile and 12 months later you are not. I did them at 27, it said I wasn't fertile and would struggle. I got pregnant first go at 30. Take them with a pinch of salt, is what my fertility doc said, they are perfect for setting up medication for IVF but beyond that not much use, except if your numbers are super low or they discover a lager issue

HavelockVetinari · 11/01/2021 17:58

I had DS at 32, was infertile by 35 and even more IVF is a no-go after 8 rounds Sad

I'm still awfully broody, I'd love another child, but there's no chance now unfortunately. I wish I'd started earlier, although I wouldn't swap my darling boy for any number of other children so it probably worked out as it should.

Anyway - get married and get sprogging, don't waste your fertile years.

I wouldn't bother with egg freezing (crap pregnancy rates) but if you're sure you'll stay together then embryo freezing is a good option if your AMH, AFC or FSH indicate low egg reserve.

unmarkedbythat · 11/01/2021 18:04

I have completed my family, I do not want to raise another child, I would definitely terminate if I conceived and I have been sterilised. I still every so often have a burning physical urge to get pregnant, I know exactly what I would name a daughter (all my dc are boys), I daydream about the smell of a newborn's head and when things are really sharp I swear I feel the tingle of letdown when I hear a baby cry. But I would not describe myself as broody because I absolutely do not want to have another child.

There is never, ever a right time. NEVER. I was probably too young and naive when I had my first; but ten years later I would have overthought everything to the extent that I would likely never have made the decision to TTC. In fact ten years later I managed to get pregnant whilst on the Pill and had my last baby and continuing that pregnancy was definitely heart over head: on paper it was a disastrous idea but I wanted him as soon as I knew he was there so I had him.