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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this odd?

54 replies

user0949813 · 10/01/2021 19:42

I recently started in a new job, team of 20. Everyone seems to get on fairly well, all staff are friends on facebook and have a WhatsApp group, except one member of staff who doesn't have facebook and won't give her phone number to any of her colleagues. Is this odd? She gets on well with he colleagues during working hours.

OP posts:
ABitOfAShitShow · 10/01/2021 20:18

@Winterfellismyhome

Nope. Shes drawing a line between personal and professional
This. ^
S111n20 · 10/01/2021 20:19

I think it’s sensible of her.

Spidey66 · 10/01/2021 20:20

Unless it's a work group to pass on message e.g. 'running late, car won't start' I can't see the problem.

AllGonnaLaughAtYou · 10/01/2021 20:21

Is it you, and you’re wondering if they will find you odd?

Lookslikerainted · 10/01/2021 20:29

And you care because?

FolkyFoxFace · 10/01/2021 20:38

I've got a few work colleagues on SM, but only ones I've known long enough to like and actively want to interact with in an out of work setting. I ignore other work colleague friend requests, and wild horses couldn't drag me into a WhatsApp group!

I've got nothing in common with them. I don't need to see endless updates on their pets and TV shows they're watching. It just feels like forced friendship.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 10/01/2021 20:45

@Rose789

My department is 22 people. 18 of us are on a what’s app group. Most of us are friends on Facebook. 3 people don’t want to join. I admire them for setting boundaries.
What about the last one? Do they want to join but aren't allowed?
cherrypie111 · 10/01/2021 20:45

I would say it's odd. I think it's pretty rude to outright refuse to be part of the team in a more friendly way.

BackforGood · 10/01/2021 20:49

It sounds very sensible to me.
Very wise to keep your work life and private / social life separate.

I don't have work colleagues on Facebook.
I have been in a WhatsApp group since lockdown but it will depend a lot on the 'vibe' - WhatsApp Groups can be quite varied in the way people use them.

Bearnecessity · 10/01/2021 20:51

This is me. I have never been on social media or a what's app group. This is the way I like it....work email or actual talking directly are the way to go....not odd...bloomin wonderful...

Ch3rish · 10/01/2021 20:57

I don't think that's odd at all, presumably work related information isn't being communicated by either method

TitsOot4Xmas · 10/01/2021 20:58

I dislike that my wider team can access my phone number from the team WhatsApp. I like them, but I like to manage who has my number, in work and out.

B33Fr33 · 10/01/2021 21:07

She has boundaries between work and home. Why would you think that's weird rather than just respect that? I think in the various jobs I've worked six or seven varying sized teams, only four colleagues were aware of the name of my partner.

partyatthepalace · 10/01/2021 21:09

No, she just likes clear boundaries.

What’s it to you?

LilyE1234 · 10/01/2021 21:13

The only work WhatsApp groups I’m on are on my work phone, so it gets turned off when I’m not working.

LegendDairy · 10/01/2021 21:15

She has boundaries. That's not odd.

SpudsandGravy · 10/01/2021 21:17

No, it's not odd at all.

What's odd, ISTM, is that people expect their work colleagues to be willing to share info about their personal lives just because they work together. I like my colleagues and love my job, but I don't share my FB account with them because that's for real friends from real life. Work colleagues can be real friends too, but they're not real friends just because we work together.

Terracottasaur · 10/01/2021 21:26

I would say it’s unusual but not inexplicable. Most people would feel it was expected of them to participate in things like that, but I can understand someone wanting to keep their private life very separate from work.

Etinox · 10/01/2021 21:30

Very boundaried colleague left several years ago. We’re now in regular WhatsApp and post contact. Some people like to keep work and home separate.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 10/01/2021 21:32

I am not even on Facebook or WA. If I was running late or sick I would email my manager. I do have work colleagues who are actual proper friends, and who I meet up with for eg lunch outside work.

DrManhattan · 10/01/2021 21:32

Fair play to her

FrankButchersDickieBow · 10/01/2021 21:34

I think you're odd to think it's odd to be honest.

I'm not on Facebook so don't have any colleagues as friends.

I am on a works whatsapp group which was started when we were working from home.

I don't mind that, but tbh, it's not really used very much. Just the odd meme.

I am good friends with one colleague who has my personal details as we do go out together outside of work (not at the moment obvs), but the rest are people I work with. I get on well with them and have a good laugh. Go for bday lunches etc., but they're not my mates.

Emmab321 · 10/01/2021 21:47

I don’t think it’s odd . I get on well with my colleagues in work hours but none of them have my number. I don’t want people messaging me about work on my own time :)

LittleRed53 · 10/01/2021 22:03

Some people don't like to have their work life take over their entire life.

Serin · 10/01/2021 22:05

Good for her.

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