to try to conceive during a pandemic?

[cestclaudette]

I'm 33, DH is 35. He has a daughter from previous relationship, 13.

We have been putting off TTC for some time (to get married first,) though we are aware of time ticking on and DSD getting older / the age difference between her and any future DC.

We eloped last year instead of the big wedding we'd planned, and are keen to start TTC a baby as soon as we can - we'd always said we'd start actively trying from Jan this year.

However - am I crazy to try to do this right now? I've seen a few posts recently (not necessarily all on this site,) where people have been talking about the selfishness of choosing to require NHS treatment over the next few months. And also, knowing that pregnancy increases COVID risk... I'm not sure if I'm being silly to consider going out of my way to put myself in that category, where I'd be more likely to require medical treatment than if I wasn't pregnant.

I'm scared to put off TTC much longer, as we already have put it off for a few years and we do really want to have a baby. I'm conscious of my age, DH's age, and also we've been NTNP for a few months already with nothing much happening, which has increased my worry that there might be something amiss somewhere.

But, AIBU to be actively TTC right now with current NHS pressures, rather than wait another few months?

YANBU. You may regret it if you put it off, and falling pregnant now the situation will be vastly different in nine months time.

I got pregnant and gave birth during the pandemic and I don’t regret it at all

I had a baby during first lockdown. Obviously conceived before the pandemic but it has been fine. It's my second though so I'm fine with not doing baby groups etc.

I did have do my later scans alone - not a big deal. Couldn't have DH on postnatal ward for even 1 second. That was pretty grim to be honest post C section. Fortunately the baby was healthy and slept for the 30hrs we stayed in. However others who had more tricky babies / their first baby / had to stay many days were having a truly torrid time alone. So depends how you would feel about that as I don't think life will be normal by Oct.

Baby 1 fell pg first month. Baby 2 18 months trying with losses on the way. So in your shoes I would go for it but not if you care a lot about moments like holding hands over the scan.

I wouldn't put it off at all. It took me 17yrs of ttc to fall pregnant the first time but less than two years before I was pregnant again. If I had waited to start I might never have got pregnant at all.

As long as you are realistic that things 'might not' be back to normal I'd say crack on end good luck.

None of the factors you list put my (lovely, intelligent) midwife off!! As I reckon she's more likely than me to have a good idea of what the extra strain on the NHS/ risk to her would be, I'd say not unreasonable.

I'm putting off ttc at the moment as I not sure if pregnant women will be offered the vaccine and I'm frontline healthcare worker. That and I know I'd have to have a section so would be taking up a bed for a couple of days at least.

I'm 35wks pregnant with baby being induced in 3wks.
I'm 42 and we'd been trying for 18mths for baby number 2 so I'm really glad I didn't let anyone put me off.
My booking in appointment and 16wk one were over the phone but all others in person. I've seen a consultant every 4wks and had 6 NHS scans - standard of care has been exactly the same as previous pregnancy 3yrs ago. DH couldn't attend first 3 scans but has been able to attend the last 3.
The NHS services I'm using are maternity services so I have no guilt using them for exactly what they're there for.

From my experience of trying for three years at age 32 and still not pregnant, I'd say do it...you don't know how long it will take and you could postpone forever

I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant. I’m so grateful I didn’t give birth during the first wave of the pandemic because home births were cancelled and so many restrictions, partners not allowed to scans etc. However I didn’t want to wait longer because I wanted a gap of around 2/3 years between ds1 and this baby. As other posters have said, you could conceive quickly or it could take a while. I had a miscarriage scare early on and am nervously awaiting my scan appointment. Anything can happen, just make sure you stay safe as you are on the clinically vulnerable list once pregnant (not extremely clinically vulnerable and need to shield, just that you are as vulnerable as someone over 70). Good luck!

Things were v strict during the first wave but now partners are generally allowed to at least one scan and for the whole of the birth. (Unless actually isolating for covid at the time!).
I also think not having loads of men hanging round the postnatal ward is probably for the best - and other visitors not being allowed would stop the in-laws descending. Swings and roundabouts!
The actual risks of covid are not that clear but I think it's only in late pregnancy that there is thought to be any increased risk, and even that is possibly more precautionary than anything.