Vegetable-hating children

[Jourdain11]

My three kids, who used to eat a fairly balanced and healthy diet, have all turned into vegetable haters!

DD1 has now decided that she only likes "white" food. DD2 and DS seem to have collectively gone on vegetable strike (although this may be partly because their dad is cooking most of the meals and his idea of adding vegetables to a meal is boiling them separately and plonking them on the plate, where they can be ignored quite easily).

They're happy to gorge on fruit (although "white fruit only" in the case of DD1) but vegetables have randomly become a total no-go. Would I be unreasonable to insist that they're eating at least a few things containing vegetables each day? I don't want to be an evil, healthy-diet obsessed mother. But at the same time, concerned that now comma more than ever it would be a good idea for them to be getting plenty of vitamins and nutrients to boost the immune system etc.

Aware that this is a very minor problem in the scheme of everything that's going on presently!

I would be making a plate of white mushrooms, bean sprouts, cauliflower, parsnip, onions and leeks for the white food only diet

Oh God, that sounds grim! Actually all my least favourite vegetables.

The white food thing is a nightmare. Only sliced bananas because if they come out of the peel they are too non-white. All the skin picked off her apples and pears (although at least she does it herself). Only white cheese. Only white chocolate. Only pale houmous, not the type with bits in. Rice krispies and porridge are the only acceptably white cereal. It's insane! (And must also be entirely bland.)

That does sound like a massive ball ache! Where did it start from? Is white fish and meat ok?

You have my sympathy OP - maybe a nice glass of white wine for you!

OP I hear you. I have four kids who were taught by grandparents that they can eat whatever they want, without any effort made to get fruit or vegetables into them. GPs looked after them after school whilst we both worked FT and did their packed lunches too so we never said anything... big mistake.

DC1 - bland tastebuds from birth. Would happily eat pasta (no sauce or vegetables) every meal until he was about 13. From 14 he turned a corner and now at 18 eats almost anything although dislikes spicy food and chips and still eats some things plain.

DC2&3 - always “okay” with food, vegetable staples such as sweet corn, carrots, peas and broccoli. Wouldn’t touch any other veg. Between 11 and 13 became a pain in the arse - everything they previously liked they suddenly hated, wouldn’t touch any fruit either. Anything they perceived as remotely dry or too saucy they wouldn’t touch. They would cry and fake stomach or head ache if anything new, or slightly different, or that they had decided the previous day they didn’t like was presented to them for TWO YEARS and god forbid if they found a chunk of onion or tomato in their food.

DC4 - an absolute bloody joy - loves trying new food, very rarely turns her nose up at anything and will at least try it a few times before deciding she didn’t like it.

Things that helped - cooking when they couldn’t see what was going into the food (if they saw something they didn’t like they wouldn’t touch it). Grating veg into sauces so it’s tiny and soft. Passata, it’s smooth and still counts as veg! Fun food such as corn on the cob and putting sauce into little pots instead of on the plate.

We ended up with 2&3 giving up on family meals for a while. We served everything up family style and they had the option to eat with us or not. In the end it only took a few weeks of the pressure being off before they started eating like normal people and actually wanted to try new things again. We still do family style now - I don’t force them to eat anything as such but I always put out some forms of vegetables (even if it’s just carrot sticks and cucumber) and ask them to get a bit and not just fill up on the more beige food.

One thing I did insist on was them having one sprout every Xmas now 3 out of 4 of them love sprouts with bacon.

Good luck. I have a list of dishes my fussy lot would all eat if that would help.

When they were younger and complained about veg I just wouldn't let them have seconds or pudding or snacks in between meals unless they ate a portion of veg with both lunch and dinner. I know that contravenes some advice to not 'punish' any kind of food behaviours etc however it's worked very well. They are now excellent enthusiastic eaters, no probs at all getting 5 -7 bits of fruit and veg in a day. Certainly there are vegetables that they don't like, and I don't make them eat them - I tend to provide 2 or 3 kinds of veg for each meal and they can choose just one if they want. I don't make a fuss, I don't force, but there will be no pudding or snacks or seconds of garlic bread unless a balanced meal is eaten. Including them in cooking, and trying to make the food attractive and fun is a hassle but has been effective. To me it's just like children not wanting to come off the PS4, or not wanting to do homework . . . . . we say 'no, that's not in your long-term interests, I'm going to make you do what you don't want to do because I love you'. Apart from the health issues, I do advise you to be a bit more firm as picky eaters are a total PITA, and it's actually life-limiting if severe. My DC went to an amazing summer camp with a couple of friends and one friend came home early just because he refused to eat most of the (perfectly normal) food provided, and they wouldn't just feed him white carbs for a week. He missed out on so much fun, and his departure for such a 'silly' reason definitely affected how his friends saw him. I definitely roll my eyes (inwardly, I would never embarrass a guest in my house) when some of my DC's friends stay over and have a very very restricted diet for non-health reasons, equally having been on holiday with a very fussy eater and had the whole holiday meal schedule dictated by what this child would and would not eat I was fairly 'over' it by the end. Yes yes, I totally recognise that a different approach is certainly needed for children who may not be NT or have some other physical or mental health issue that affects eating.

If this is a new thing OP? It could just be a way of exercising control when so much has changed this year.

V common for kids going through tumultous times, divorce etc to suddenly become really restrictive with what they will/ wont eat so fingers crossed it is a phase and will pass soon.

@Jourdain11

They are 8, 7 and 5. I'm quite good at sneaking veg into food, and I usually cooked their evening meal. But lately DH is doing it and he's not amazing at cooking... They won't go for veg sticks as snacks or anything like that, which I do kind of get (I'm not mad keen on carrot and celery sticks myself...).

So you accept their dislike when you feel the same, but want to force food on them when you like it?

Leave them alone for a bit. They may come round when you cook again

I accept that not everyone likes every fruit and/ot vegetable, but at the same time, I don't think it can be healthy for them to be having barely any! Incidentally, I'm totally up for celery or whatever in a salad. I just never really felt the sticks and dips thing

It's tricky to get the balance. I don't want to be a nightmare health-obsessed parent, but at the same time, I don't want them to get stuck on eating stuff out of packets and nothing else DH would happily exist on stuff out of packets, so I'm not going to get back up on this!

Interesting the point about control. Do think that could be part of DD1's freaky white food fad. The other two are just trying it on, I reckon!