To be a bit frustrated with MIL?

[thesebootsaremadeforwalkin]

Mil doesn't do/have online banking and does most of her stuff in cash. She phoned the other day and asked if I would order an item of furniture she wanted that was on sale online and a few matching smaller items from the same store. I said yes and she gave me the cash to cover the items.

I go to place the order and the local store is out of stock, the only store that has it in stock is 50 miles away and they are only doing click & collect, no deliveries. I'm not sure it's ok to travel 50 miles to pick up a piece of furniture so I ring her back to check she still wants the item and is willing to go and pick it up. She says yes, is insistent she wants this exact item, so item is ordered.

Fast forward a few days and now she's decided actually she doesn't want to go and pick it up after all. So she's found a courier who might be able to pick it up for her but to organise the whole thing I'll have to ring the store, check that they will release the item to a courier, then ring the courier company and check they will pick up and deliver the item. Then book it all for her assuming they'll do all this.

Aibu to be a bit fed up and regretting offering to help? And Aibu to think she should just give up and get a refund for the items?

Your mil needs to get a credit card and then you could order her stuff online with her card and she could have a dd monthly to pay the full balance.

She doesn't have any dds thinking about it! Her electric is on a meter and all the other bills are quarterly which she just rings up and pays over the phone when the time comes. Maybe it's because her job is a bit inconsistent so she doesn't want to pay a set amount every month? I think she also just doesn't trust banks very much and wants to do things in cash wherever possible.

She shouldn't be asking you to do unnecessary trips for collection of monies and trips to the bank at all. Do it this time as you're half way through but remind her for anything in the future, whilst we're in lockdown.

It’s the giving you cash thing that’s most annoying! Because you then have to go and lodge the money at the bank 😩 especially at the moment there are massive queues outside banks! This kinda things annoys me too - I’ve a friend who always gives me back money she owes me (if I’ve bought concert tickets/cinema tickets etc on my card) in cash - I need the money in my account though as everything else I pay is via the online bank (rent/bills/paying off credit cards etc)

I totally get where you’re coming from!

She has ' learned helplessness'. You're not her flunkey. Unless she's v frail or challenged in some way, simple life skills should be do-able. My DM was a bit the same after being widowed. If I was at Uni, she usually managed,funnily enough. If I was home, she'd get me to do absolutely everything. You need to be not so available ,it'll do her good to learn simple life skills she should've grasped years ago. Phone calls & online shopping arent rocket science FGS. Unless you're ok with being her lackey.

I have many friends working in high street financial services, & you shouldn’t be going into branches unless it’s an essential transaction. Perhaps you could use explain this to MIL & encourage her in other ways to shop. You’d be surprised what germs lurk on bank notes.