Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP refusing to help with homeschool

32 replies

dontknowwhatto · 10/01/2021 08:07

Last week was tough. 38/39 weeks pregnant, final week of work before mat leave, then coupled with homeschooling my 8yo (y4), c section booked this week. Work was crazy busy and I often worked late into evening (10pm/11pm). P was available all week (as on holidays) but only helped with our 2yo, point blank says no to homeschooling. I said it's my last week of work , I need help, etc. On Friday morning I was gone for 3 hours at hospital and asked 8yo and P to do homeschool, came back lunchtime and very little was done. Nothing was corrected, lots of gaps in work completed, didn't do a manual spell check with 8yo (instead 8yo did electronic quiz got 4/10 but they didn't do any test/practice before) Meaning my only afternoon 'off' would be filled with homeschool. I got very upset and ended up crying saying I'm feeling so unsupported, all week and now Friday too. He didn't care, ignored me so much so that the first words he spoke to me were I'm going to the shop do you want anything.

So Saturday I tried to raise it with P again, he said he has nothing to apologise about and I said next week I will have newborn, will he help with homeschool then? He point blank refused saying no, if my 8yo doesn't listen then he won't help and P cannot/will not make him sit there and do it. 8yo doesn't just sit there diligently and do work, 8yo needs encouragement and guidance. P then turned it around saying he has nothing more to say about and he told me that he would not help and that's it.

What do you think of all this ?

Ps I have no family support at all, no bubble here. I'm doing on my own (newborn, 2yo abs 8yo) and P is only here til end Jan as he works away for work.

OP posts:
ScrapThatThen · 10/01/2021 09:13

I'm sorry he's being so awful.

Arobase · 10/01/2021 09:44

He isn't a partner, is he? You need to evaluate whether this is a relationship that is worth putting any more effort into.

MotherExtraordinaire · 10/01/2021 09:45

Based on this and your previous post, you already know the relationship is unsustainable.
So really, stick to your plan. You need him post csec. Then he goes for work.
You then need to decide if you want to continue this or free yourself.
Relocation back to your family or friends would be preferable imo.
I don't often say this, but maybe speak to the school and see if your son can attend as vulnerable.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 10/01/2021 09:50

This is dreadful. Can you afford to buy help in? And as others have asked, if he’s not the 8 year old’s dad, can their dad help? Are there any friends or relatives who could help with schoolwork remotely?

You’re in a really vulnerable position, perhaps particularly as you’re not married. What’s your plan for maternity leave? How would you manage for money if you split up?

Cocomarine · 10/01/2021 10:02

It’s not his kid, so he doesn’t give a shit 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not that he gives much more of shit about the 2 children you’ve chosen to have with him.

There is NO POINT in the stress of arguing about homeschool - you’ll get upset, he still won’t do it. Forget about it. Get the help you need post CS from him (probably bare minimum anyway) and then cut him loose.

Icanseegreenshoots · 10/01/2021 11:59

You have made a poor choice in having a child with this man op.

I guess you must know this now. He is not invested in your eldest child, only the 2 year old (I assume is his too)

I would be sitting down and laying out your expectations very very clearly.

MissMarpleDarling · 10/01/2021 12:05

What a useless father. I assume he used to help for you to be on baby number 3.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread