to feel annoyed that DD3 had to miss out on seeing her cousins

[RosaTransylvania]

because PIL fear being contaminated by her.
DD3 came down with chickenpox on Monday. PIL came to stay nearby for a week but have refused to see us for fear of catching shingles. (MIL refuses to believe that this is not possible.)
SIL arrived two days ago with her children, and we arranged to see them today and all go for something to eat. DD3 and I have been cooped up in the house all week and she is now much better and spots have dried up so AFAIK she is no longer infectious. PIL state that if DD3 goes, they do not. So I stay home with DD3 and so DH and other DDs can see the family.
But I am really annoyed, as both DD3 and I would have enjoyed an outing after a pretty dull week.
AIBU?

I thought you were infectious until the last scab had fallen off.

I know you can't catch shingles from someone who has it, but if you catch chickenpox you are at risk of shingles in later life.

So, MIL is incorrect in thinking that they could catch shingles, but if they've not had chickenpox before, and catch it, then they will be at risk of shingles....

Shame you're stuck at home!

No. YANBU - they are being ignorant.

You can't catch chicken pox from Shingles full stop. Someone can only get shingles once they have had the cp virus at some point in their life then it can return as Shingles when someone is run down or has compromised immunity.

Rosa you are right, she is no longer contagious once the spots have scabbed over. You PIL are being unreasonable and mean

Shame on them

Sorry I mean you can't catch chicken pox from shingles .

I mean shingles from chicken pox bloody hell I need to go to bed!

According to NHS Direct, you are infectious for 5 days after the rash appears so if she came down with it Monday, she is still infectious now, and that they can return to school/mursery 5-7 days after the rash appears.

It also says:

"People with shingles are contagious to those people who have not had chickenpox. However, it is not possible to catch shingles from a person who has chickenpox".

I think i'd have been inclined to have printed the info off for them but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Sorry you did not get to go out though

Thanks. Glad to know I am not being unreasonable. MIL is so stubborn that it was pointless trying to argue.

Now I am really sure I am not being unreasonable. It is SUNDAY. Her spots are completely dried up and she could not possibly be infectious. But yet again after saying we would all meet up this afternoon MIL phoned this morning and told DH she would rather than DD3 would not come - so I am once again home alone with DD3 who naturally is feeling fine and does not understand why she can't go and see Granny and Grandpa with her sisters.
GRRRRRRRR

You are not being unreasonable but you rin laws are prob not trying to be either.

My inlaws aer paranoid about shingles too and were very wary when our kids had the pox. Ironically, it is dd2 who has had shingles as well, not the in laws.

I sympathise - it is frustrating

I know Pointy, normally I would try to be understanding, but being housebound over half-term has driven me crazy and I would like to have been able to spend some time with ALL my family this weekend.

You can catch shingles from someone with Chicken pox.

here is the info
section 5 says:
People do not catch shingles from each other. A person with shingles cannot give another person shingles, nor can you catch shingles from someone with chickenpox. In fact, it has been found that when people who have had chickenpox encounter the disease again, it increases their immunity and means they are less likely to develop shingles.

How does it work then? Why are older people told to stay away from people with chicken pox?

i havn't a clue, but the herpes virus ass are a pretty credible source i would think

NAB you can't. That is the whole point. Of course I wouldn't want to put my PIL at risk of catching shingles, but there IS no risk. And I have never heard of older people being told to stay away from people with chicken pox - it is the other way around.

What does it matter whether people with c pox are told to stay away from others or the elderly are told to stay away from those with c pox, it is the same potential result isn't it?

I obviously didn't explain myself very clearly.
Chicken pox is a virus of the herpes type. Once you have caught it, it stays in your nerve endings and as an adult if you are run down it can reactivate in the form of shingles.
Therefore, if you have never had chicken pox you cannot get shingles.
On the other hand if you have previously had chicken pox (as PIL have) you may get shingles at some future point, but not by 'catching it', it is just your own virus reactivating.
Therefore a person with chicken pox is no risk to a person who has already had chicken pox.
A person with shingles however, because what they have is a form of chickenpox, could potentially give chickenpox to someone who has never had it.
That is what I meant by the other way round.

I get it now. Thank you.

It could be a generational thing. My parents stayed away when all mine had CP. I just let it go really. No-one could remember who'd had and hadn't had CP when they were little. I don't think they were being deliberately difficult. Over-cautious maybe but hey ho no worries.