Tough decisions and body responding

[Nc374859]

Hey guys this is a bit of a weird one, I've NC and really need your help.

There is a hard decision I have been putting off for two years now. It involves overhauling everything and potentiqlly letting go of someone i love. I have been struggling to suppress myself in order to not take the decision.

I've even avoided discussing it.

I'm so tired. The past year I've been having terrible panic attacks and mystery pains that have no cause. Also weird clearly psychological things like thinking ive forgotten how to breathe 👀

Yes I have psychological help but deep down inside me I know they are limited in how much help they can give me because I strongly believe this is all coming from this decision I've been putting off and dithering about.

How do you stop dithering and make a decision and stick with it?

Also do you believe that these kinds of inner turmoil can create physical problems like I describe?

I feel stuck and paralysed and like I have for 2 years. I feel unhappy because of it. Has anybody else ever felt this way?

The decision I have to make I will lose something and gain something whichever way I go.

Well, stress can manifest in a number of ways.

What's the decision? Hard to advise when you're being so cloak-and-dagger about it.

Stress and anxiety can cause physical health problems. Foe situations than sound less stressful than yours, I have experienced varying symtoms - nausea, dizziness, breathing problems (including like you said, but also feeling like i can't take a deep enough breath), headaches, fatigue, various stomach problems. These are, apparently, all common physical symtoms of anxiety but there are loads of other potential symtoms.

In your case, it is hard to say what you should do as you haven't given enough information about the decision you need to make. I will say, though, that if your decision is to STAY (with a person, or in a situation) or LEAVE (a person or a situation), then it sounds like you really need to leave either the person or the situation. Because if the correct decision wss to stay then you wouldn't be making yourself ill over it.

What I mean is, if nothing needed to change then you wouldn't be feeling like this. Sounds like you need to let go of someone, or something, but you're scared of change (as many people are, even about necessary change).

@SmeleanorSmellstrop
That is so helpful thank you.

The decision is I dont know whether to leave my partner or not.

Well actually, I do. I know what the answer is.

He's such a great guy. He's so thoughtful and kind. But we dont want the same things or life AT ALL.

So to be with him I have had to live a life that feels all wrong. My life feels completely wrong for me but the man feels completely right.

That's why I feel so stuck.

It has a huge impact on me because I cant think of anything else, it dominates my thoughts. It's so tiring. I feel it has changed me.

Feeling trapped, ime, causes depression and anxiety. Whether it's job, a relatiionship, caring role etc

In what way is your life wrong for you? I can't help but think if the man is indeed right for you, there should some ways you can compromise and change your lifestyle to suit you both

If staying was the right thing, you wouldn't feel this bad.
Lie down, close your eyes and relax. Make a plan in your head to leave. Remember nobody knows your thoughts and there is nothing to fear.
Focus on the positives if you leave. Keep it relaxed. How do you feel?

I was going to say that from reading your OP it doesn't sound like you have a decision to make. You have made the decision already. Your problem is executing the decision.
It's about the hurt and loss it will incur for both of you. You need to set yourself some dates and make a plan. Stick to it. You will feel like you are exploding your life but it is time. Your body is tell you enough.