How much time do you and your DH spend together?

[classiestgal]

Just that.

During the week (week nights) and weekend, how much time do you actually spend doing things together? I’ve started to feel like an au pair. I’m rushing around cleaning and cooking for everyone and then spending evenings/weekends sat on my own while they sit on iPads/playstations. I’m just not sure what the point of having a family is if I do everything on my own and spend more time on my own now I’m married/have kids than I ever did when I was single!

I wouldn't like that at all tbh. To answer your question DH and I spend normally at least 1hour together in the evening, with a cuppa, usually with the TV on but not necessary. We manage that most evenings. I find I need it more than before the kids. The week-end is family time so we usually do things together as a family but it may be that he needs to spend half a day on the allotment or doing work or something. Or I need to do some work. So at least 1 full day will be together, with the kids.

At the moment- far far too much.....

@oblada what kind of things do you do together as a family? Do you still do those things during the winter? How old are your kids?

We are all at home together, me, dh and dd 17.
Me and dh work together from home, so see each other at work.
We have nights together, but not every night.
I have a hobby and my own interests I do quite often.
Me and dd usually get together for a film, or we have a games night together, or just chill together.
Dh I'd guess at maybe 8/10 hours a day.

Oh and I spend around 3 hours a week together- usually a Saturday morning shopping and maybe breakfast somewhere ( before lockdown).
No time at all during the week.

We spend a lot of time together. We work on projects together (fun ones) or do something different seperately but together, if that makes sense. Prepared for things to change when the baby comes along, obviously, but I imagine it'll be a different form of this with DC too.

We don't watch much telly though, and DH isn't a big computer person. Doesn't play games, etc.

Maybe suggest/implement some none-screen evenings? And get him to do his fair share of cleaning and cooking! It could just be a crap routine/rut, but only you know if it's more than this.

I sit next to him and crochet whilst he's on the playstation/iPad. Sometimes we have date night. We just hang out together.

We usually eat together and at weekends will try to sit down to watch at least one movie.

It sounds like you’re not spending quality time with anyone in your family not just your DH. Do you all eat together? That could be a good starting point. Or a family walk a few times a week?

I work shifts and my DH is a regular mon-fri person so time together varies. If I’m not working we always eat our evening meal together, sometimes with the kids sometimes not. We usually go for walks at the weekend if I’m not working or late afternoon through the week if he’s working and I’m not. Most nights we all watch tv together in the same room with kids on devices but still there. Pre lockdown we’d go to the gym together sometimes, run errands together etc now it’s just essential shopping.

So yeah if we’re not working we’re together pretty much

Usually 2-4 hours in the evenings, from dinner onwards in the weeknights, and almost in full both weekend days.

Have had to ban him from half of the kitchen so he doesn't get underfoot during dinner prep. I enjoy cooking but not when I have to work around a 6' roadblock between cooker/sink/fridge! He usually sits at the table and that's where we start catching up for the day, then we have dinner as a family. After that he cleans up while I get the DC ready for bed, then once they're in bed we have more time together.

Weekends used to be quite busy but since March of last year the DC aren't doing weekend activities so now we spend most of them together. He rehearses with his band, I go ride horses, but barring that we're together the whole time.

[quote classiestgal]@oblada what kind of things do you do together as a family? Do you still do those things during the winter? How old are your kids?[/quote]
My kids are 6months, 3yrs, 6yrs and 9yrs lol over the last 9 months our main family activities have been going on walks. And movie time all together over the week-end. Pre lockdown it could be other things like playcentres, museums, going to the restaurant (we like our food :)) etc and a lot of the week-end was spent ferrying the kids to their activities (some have stopped, some are online for now) but we did it together.

Nearly 24 hours a day unless he goes into the office which is approximately weekly, which I quite like because I could (when they were open) nip to the shops, go out for lunch etc without feeling as guilty - knowing he was working from home and paying all the bills whilst I had fun. Or I would watch programmes he didn't like whilst eating ice cream.

But I know I'm fortunate, not a cross word in 10 months like this

About 2 hours on weekdays, and at least half the day on weekends (pre covid). Pretty much all the day outside of work now! No kids though.

Or even just chilling and playing games at home though I found that with so many kids it's often easier to go out than stay indoor.
We'll go on walks regardless of the weather (except if it's pissing down of course), find nice spots, take the kids' cycles etc

When we're at home we spend most of our time together, i.e. in the same room or doing things out of the house together. This would usually be on evenings and weekends.

At the moment we are both at home all the time as I'm WFH and he's furloughed. I am finding it far too much.