for screaming 'oh for god's sake' at the door with the bang, bang, bang, ding-dong, ding-dong

[TwigorTreat]

of the child who is determined to say 'Please can I have my ball back' for the 4th time this week.

I was not put on this earth to retrieve your flaming ball from my garden

farkin' well go and play somewhere else

its not like you even live on this road

I am going to start to refuse to return it I swear I am ..

oh and over the last 4 years I have taught this particular child to say 'please may I have the ball back' from a standing start of "ball's in yer garden "

Give him his ball back you big old meanie

is he an urchin?

he plays in the street .. of course he's an urchin

OK, give him his ball back, clip him round the ear and threaten to call the beadle.

give him some gruel and send him on his way. [with his ball]

I hate parents who let their kids play out on the street

I hate children of parents who let their kids play out on the street

I hate balls of children of parents who let their kids play out on the street

I am going to invest in a large pointy screwdriver with which I shall pointedly stab every single ball that lands in my garden

You taught him to say please- that's an achievement to be proud of

I was so proud the first time he did it, I stood there and grinned and said 'of course you may .... see how much easier that was'

I think you may have to go on giving it back as long as he keeps saying please....

I do give it back .. I just make it clear they should move their feckin game away from my garden and that I've had enough of being the ball retriever

I am also entitled to peace you know

Our neighboura have given us free access to their garden to retrieve lost balls.

You could always do that instead...

they are not neighbours though they are street urchins .. our house is on a corner