Single parent to a 6 year old who has a few additional needs, no EHCP and school have said they can’t safely have her in school (she hypermobility but has no official diagnosis of anything else but is suspected to have dyspraxia and/or ADHD/ADD). They will only offer her a place if I cannot manage her at home – they’ve defined that as she turns violent. She is not violent; she gets overwhelmed and runs off to her room or tent for a cry, can’t sit still, struggles with verbal commands but is not in any way violent. She does tantrum in the way a toddler would sometimes; so throwing herself on the floor crying, feet stamping etc. School have said they don’t have a space for her to go to if she gets overwhelmed and they can’t risk that without she won’t get violent.
I live in a top floor flat on a housing association that won’t move me as they don’t consider DD disabled enough. I’m on the normal list for a move but all moves have been suspended since the end of October (lockdown then moved straight into Tier 3 then 4 then another lockdown) and I’m unlikely to get moved very quickly if I could as I need to stay near DDs school. I don’t have a garden or any outdoor space. Just getting outside is an achievement some days if DD doesn’t want to go out there’s no way I can get her down the stairs safely (no lift as there’s only 6 flats, 2 per floor).
School aren’t doing live lessons but pre-recorded lessons by both the year 2 teachers. DD can just about manage the ones with her classteacher in as long as she concentrates hard but because she’s not used to the other teacher she really struggles to follow what she’s saying. This is not a criticism of the school I actually think it’s a good idea to spread the workload between the teachers.
I work but am furloughed so I’m trying my best to help her with school work. Schools timetable is: English (changing between phonics, reading, handwriting) and Maths every morning then the afternoon is split into two sessions. First session is Science, History, Geography, PE or RE (CofE school), 2nd session is then a 2 week timetable of several subjects some of which due to covid have been cancelled as they can’t safely use the room at school.
Every morning the tasks are uploaded onto an online system for the 4 subjects for the day apart from Fridays where we only get 3 subjects (golden time in the 2nd session). Each subject has 3 tasks and the tasks are colour coded in Green, Orange and Red. Everyone is expected to do green tasks, and then for each subject an email was sent out on Tuesday to explain which of the other tasks you have to do for English and Maths.
We’re struggling. We often get to lunchtime having done 1 task in either English or Maths. Sometimes it’s not completed. At school DD completes 2 tasks for each sat with the TA and a group of others from her class she occasionally gets through all 3 tasks.
I feel like a failure, school are just saying to do my best but if shes not even managing 2 tasks a day whats the point? DD was the same in the first lockdown but school didn’t nag at me via email then as it wasn’t compulsory.
I’m thinking of just ignoring it all and going into survival mode you know, aim to get us both fed and out of the house if I can. ExH lives two hours a way and due to the HM DD can’t be in the carseat too long so he comes back to the area and has contact at his parents EOW which obviously hasn’t happened since August due to the restrictions. He’s been taking her out for a few hours on his Saturday but is debating whether he’s going to do it now as it’s cold and there’s nowhere for him to take her. I’ve just had enough. DD was off school for 2 weeks before Christmas with no schoolwork as she had an operation and she’s absolutely fine (school sent some home a few days before she went off but the TA in the place DD goes to to get away from class at school thought it was her work to do there so did it with her).
So WIBU to stop? Or will my DD fall far behind and I’m ruining her chances?
YABU - Keep going
YANBU - Don't keep going