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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's pretty pathetic I haven't lost the baby weight

26 replies

girlmumfat · 07/01/2021 22:53

My DD is 1 ( just turned ). I was super motivated to lose the weight when she was first born. Then lockdown happened quite soon after. I was OK but stalled. I kept trying but kept stalling and since I went back to work in September, I've been so overwhelmed and unhappy. Food is all I have and I'm pretty sure I've gained again. I just want to look like myself again but I'm really finding it hard to restrict my eating.

The only way I've ever lost weight is restrictive eating. I weigh everything and just try to eat as little as possible. It's just so hard. I've ordered a treadmill as obviously I can't go to the gym. I go out for walks with DD but I don't stay out very long as I worry she'll get cold- hence the treadmill.

Any advice ? I'm stuck in a rut and feel so rubbish.

OP posts:
popNlock · 07/01/2021 22:56

Could you look into intermittent fasting? I know for a lot of people this helps.

popNlock · 07/01/2021 22:57

Also,please dont be so hard on yourself it's only been a year since you had your baby. And a lot of the world has been sitting home comfort eating for most of the last year!!

popNlock · 07/01/2021 22:57

Keep going for your walks every day too.

MonkeyPuddle · 07/01/2021 22:58

Your value as a person is more than your weight.

You seem really harsh towards yourself?

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/01/2021 22:58

YABVU for being mean about yourself. You’re not remotely pathetic. You grew a whole person a year ago. You’re back at work. It’s been a shocking year.

I’m not offering weight loss tips but what I will say is if you want to make changes you have a much better chance of succeeding if they come from a place of self love and gentleness, not self loathing. Give yourself a break Flowers

Original poster
girlmumfat · 07/01/2021 22:59

Thank you ! I used to do IF all the time as I just felt I would eat less. Not sure it really works for me anymore. I'm not sure what works for me to be honest. I could give it another go with the IF.

OP posts:
Okki · 07/01/2021 22:59

Well if it's any consolation, DS was 11 yrs old in October and I still haven't lost the baby weight 😁

Okki · 07/01/2021 23:01

Actually if you're really concerned you probably won't find that funny, so apologies for warped sense of humour.

With the year everyone has had, don't be too harsh on yourself. When your little one is running around, things will change.

Original poster
girlmumfat · 07/01/2021 23:01

It's just so sad that it dominates my entire day and way of life. I just can't be happy when I look like this. How shallow is that. I just know if I did lose it I would be so much happier every day. But something is stopping me from doing what I need to do to get there.

OP posts:
dontmesswiththeGC · 07/01/2021 23:02

I had my first in May and joined weight watchers when she was 6 weeks. I've lost all the weight but I was very disciplined and determined, though it did take me longer than I thought it would. Give weight watchers a try?

Original poster
girlmumfat · 07/01/2021 23:02

@Okki aw no it's funny. As long as you're happy, I admire that.

OP posts:
EsmeeMerlin · 07/01/2021 23:03

It’s not pathetic! Be kinder to yourself. We are living in a pandemic and everyone is more stressed and struggling. I am currently trying to lose weight(also carrying baby weight and he is 2)

I have already lost 6 pounds but I also know I am home schooling a 7 year old, dealing with a mischievous 2 year old and working from home part time. I am not going to beat myself up if I get stressed with the kids and hide in the kitchen eating chocolate biscuits.

I try and watch what I am eating and go for a daily walk which I need for my mental health as well as physical. I am also a big fan of the pinch of nom cook books.

Original poster
girlmumfat · 07/01/2021 23:03

@dontmesswiththeGC ok maybe that's a good idea. I always go so extreme on calories and just rebound. I need to be more realistic. I'm used to creating massive deficits that aren't sustainable. I think weight watchers is much more realistic.

OP posts:
wonderstuff · 07/01/2021 23:05

I hadn't lost baby weight a year after having dd and there wasn't a pandemic happening then. In fact breastfeeding made me so constantly hungry I started putting it on. I remember being so upset I couldn't get back into my jeans, then I ripped them trying to wear them when I was still too heavy in the thigh, I was gutted.

I think in the current situation you really should cut yourself some slack.

I found even when I did lose weight my body had changed so much my old clothes didn't fit, it was a really difficult thing to get to grips with.

You sound like you have quite a difficult relationship with food. I don't know what the answer is, but try to be kind to yourself.

popNlock · 07/01/2021 23:06

Is not shallow op. Everybody has a weight they feel good at.
You're clearly not happy but please be kind to yourself. If the IF didnt work, perhaps move on. Dont restrict yourself just add in some healthy alternatives and maybe an extra walk a day or a slightlylonger walk.

But do not berate yourself for eating. Ever.

popNlock · 07/01/2021 23:08

Yes my mum did slimming world a few years ago and lost two stone.
She stopped going to the weigh ins soon after and just followed the eating habits. She truly is eating twice as much as she ever did and eating foods she used to avoid pasta,rice etc

Branleuse · 07/01/2021 23:09

You need to be kinder to yourself. Healthy eating and exercise isnt a punishment. You have a baby and of course you havent been prioritisimg yourself. Youre probably knackered

Branleuse · 07/01/2021 23:10

And in a pandemic. Give yourself a break

Phoenix76 · 07/01/2021 23:13

Op, you’re so far from pathetic that YABU! Please don’t put so much pressure on yourself, you don’t want to look back in a few years time remembering worrying about weight, time goes to quickly already, you want to reflect on happy times with your baby.

If it’s affecting you, instead of being mean to yourself, make plans for when you’re able (you mentioned weight watchers so perhaps for when they can open again). FWIW it took me two years to lose the weight with both of mine but I didn’t put pressure on myself just cut down on snacking and swapping what I did snack on with bananas, cereal bars etc.

You’ll get there you unpathetic one!

JanuaryChill · 07/01/2021 23:13

"Food is all I have"? That doesn't sound healthy, and I mean mentally healthy OP.

You have your lovely daughter, partner, a job, a home, your health.

Do you think you might need some counselling?

TheKeatingFive · 07/01/2021 23:16

You need to give yourself a break.

Are you still BFing as a matter of interest?

Original poster
girlmumfat · 07/01/2021 23:16

@JanuaryChill I mean my only outlet from responsibilities I guess. My source of joy. Except for my DD of course. I'm in counselling though - need it Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
girlmumfat · 07/01/2021 23:17

@TheKeatingFive no breastfeeding. I was only able to do it for a very very short time, sadly.

OP posts:
clpsmum · 07/01/2021 23:21

My baby just turned ten and I still haven't lost the weight if that makes you feel better!

NiceGerbil · 07/01/2021 23:22

Do you have a DP?

If so he/ she could and should have the baby for a while and you could go out for a run or a walk or a cycle or whatever you enjoy.

At the moment I think it's our mental health that needs most attention and getting outdoors is really good for that :)

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