dds friends for tea

[nickToD]

Am I being unreasonable to expect my dds to be invited back to a friends house after they have been to ours to play and have tea? One of dd2s friends has been to ours for tea no less than 12 times in the last year and has not been invited back once! No the mother does not work and yes said child always seems to have other friends back for tea.

Ask.

No couldn't do that. Too much of a wimp I'm afraid

I'm with NAB3. There might be a reason you don't know about. You can do it non-interrogatively: "do you think it would be nice if we came to yours another time?"

i think it is lovely that you are so hospitable - v nice

i would not read too much in to it personally. if the friend has behaved well at yours, remains dds friend then it might just be one of those imponderable situations, that you might never find answer too.

Sorry, can't think of a good reason- know the mum quite well she goes to an evening class I attend. Perhaps child doesn't ask to have dd round but I could not let DD be fed 12 times round a friends house without returning the favour. I think it's plain rude not to.

Maybe she needs to get out of the house (does the mother stay?) maybe this is the only free time she gets. Why not mention that your DD has been asking to go to "Betty's" house next time and would she like to let you know when it is convienient. That way, you get your point that you would like to do this but she doesn't feel pressured.

Thanks for your comments scottish mummy.

No mum doesn't stay dd is 9.

That does sound a little odd. I've had a couple of DDs less-intimate-friend schoolmates round without reciprocation but DD wasn't bothered whether she got an invite back or had them here again so it didn't matter. With the others, it pretty much goes turn and turn about.

Maybe the visiting child really likes your house - what you serve for tea, your DDs games, general atmosphere and so forth. Maybe her house doesn't match up to yours and she's dropped some hint to her mum that she likes it this way round best.

Maybe she's got a horrible pet of a sort that your DD has told her she doesn't like. Or similarly, brother .

I think its one of those cases where you just have to shrug your shoulders, and if your DD likes having her round and she's not a pain, carry on anyway.

Yeah maybe you're right I just couldn't do it myself.

Get your DD to ask the mum in the playground Ive had this happen to me though and its a bit off I think ! especially as you have done it so many times!

Keep us posted nickToD. Since you can't think of a reason why the invitation hasn't been returned, the only way you're going to find out is by asking if your dd can go round there one day.