Background: DS1 (17) is doing A Level Politics, English and BTEC National Dip Music. The plan was he would take a gap year and work in the job he already has in a factory as it is well paid, he already has a deferred offer to start at the BIMM Institute in September 2022. He has already achieved the Distinction* he needed in music in Year 12, this year he has just been getting different technicalities and competencies signed off for different instruments. Entry Requirements are Distinction in Music and two E's in his two A Levels to get in. He is predicted BB.
I am sat here signing DD (nine) into Zoom classes and helping her with her school work. DS2 (13) and Year 8 is sat doing his Maths. I am working on the Covid Stats for my trust (NHS researcher). DS1 is in bed. He works in the factory Mon-Thursday evenings. I have asked him to get up and start working twice, he just said 'yeah'. Last night when I picked him up from work at 9.30 I asked if he was meant to be doing work as he had been revising for his mocks over Christmas but since this lockdown that has stopped. He mumbled something about teacher assessed grades and already having done what he needed and how his university entrance was down to performance assessment anyway. He never, ever stops playing his guitar. It is like breathing to him so he is doing this element of study at least. We had a bad year with him last year: self harming and an eating disorder developed. He left home in the middle of the night one night to 'live at his friends', he lasted 3 days then came home. He was seeing a MH nurse for anxiety and had made good progress, I don't want to come down on him like a ton of bricks.
AIBU to be nervous and suspicious think he can't possibly be able to take his foot off the break academically in year 13? What are you doing/ is happening with your Year 13's? Any advice? Help!