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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should teenagers be acting like at school?

19 replies

Nonamesavail · 07/01/2021 09:42

Do you think Teenagers (secondary) should be getting up and dressed with breakfast etc before logging on for their online work? No phones while doing work? How are your teens working their school work?
YABU- no they shouldn't
YANBU - They should be up and dressed as if at school.

OP posts:

Kittytheteapot · 07/01/2021 09:46

I don't think they should have to wear school uniform but they should be dressed. My ds - admittedly in 6th form with no uniform - has to be present for every lesson on his timetable, and is either taught via zoom or has to work at that subject for the duration of the lesson. I believe it is the same for the children in the lower part of the school ie years 7 to 11.

Original poster

Nonamesavail · 07/01/2021 09:47

Sorry should have edited to say not uniform...but at least washed and dressed even if comfortable clothes?

OP posts:

Original poster

Nonamesavail · 07/01/2021 09:48

My daughter 16 in sixth form is doing ok but my 14yr old daughter is having a right old whinge about having to be dressed and no phone while working etc

OP posts:

Seriouslymole · 07/01/2021 09:50

I think from an attitude/mental health point of view it makes sense. DS is up and dressed and breakfasted at the same time as he would be for school, then he comes out for a walk with me and the dog for half an hour before he logs on. I think it helps with the transition between home and school to get out of the house (even you just come straight back into it). However, he is only 12 - I imagine in 2 years' time he might be that willing.

Uhhuhoyaye · 07/01/2021 09:52

if the lessons are good and there is work to do for the whole time then no phones etc.
If not the children should not just be doing nothing and staring into space.

Hoppinggreen · 07/01/2021 09:52

Yes, it’s good for their MH to be in a routine
DD has had her GCSEs cancelled but she’s still dressed (ish) and in front of the computer for Form at 8.45. So is my 12 year old.

WhoEatsPopTarts · 07/01/2021 09:54

DS is currently on a zoom lesson, he took his breakfast with him and is in his pjs. The most important thing is he’s joining in, doing the work and properly engaging. The fact he hasn’t changed his clothes or he’s eating at the same time is irrelevant (camera off & muted)

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 07/01/2021 09:55

I don’t mind mine having their phones next to them (17 & 14) but they are up, showered, breakfast, dressed and other normal morning chores done by 8.45 tutor time.

idril · 07/01/2021 09:56

Mine doesn't have a choice. She has to be logged on by 8.45 and the school rule is that they have to be appropriate dressed with cameras on.

Kittytheteapot · 07/01/2021 09:57

Yes, I guess it hinges a lot on whether their camera has to be on or not. But personally, I would prefer it if the camera was on and they were expected to be fully engaged. I can imagine it would be hard to motivate a teenager if this was not the case.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 07/01/2021 09:58

Mine are up, showered and dressed as if for school. They do have phones with them so I’m sure they’re multi tasking when allowed. But if the lessons are engaging enough, they won’t have the opportunity to zone out. Apparently DD has PE today and it’s a practical - not sure how she’ll manage that in her room, but she’s not impressed

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 07/01/2021 09:59

And yes to camera being on. I knocked on DS’ door yesterday with a cup of tea and as he turned to open it I heard his teacher say his name “DS pay attention!” oops.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 07/01/2021 09:59

DS is up, showered, dressed and breakfasted before logging on for the start of the school day. He is in U6, so manages his tech how he chooses - I know that sometimes he is using laptop/iPad/phone simultaneously for optimal ways of working!

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 07/01/2021 10:01

Mine gets up and we're all ready for the day at 8.30. I think it's good to maintain a semblance of routine. She has her phone with her this week to listen to music, as there's no live teaching. When live teaching starts next week I've advised her to keep it out of arm's reach during live teaching, to avoid temptation - it's what I have to do myself to avoid picking it up in long work Zooms.

EdithWeston · 07/01/2021 10:14

School online learning guide says that pupils need not wear uniform but they must be dressed (no pyjamas) and should not have phone around during lessons

Parents are urged to check on their DC frequently but do not have to actively supervise.

I think it's a good idea - thus is replicating a school day and so should have some standards to mark it out as such. It's not just titting about online.

Willhenow · 07/01/2021 10:14

Possible but unless it was school rules I wouldn’t force it

CMOTDibbler · 07/01/2021 10:14

My 14 year old (yr10) has to be up, fed, dressed (I don't care what in as long as its decent) and ready for tutor time at 8.50, then I expect him to be at his desk for the entirety of his live lessons.
No phone or other distractions while working. Though its harder to police the PC based distractions, esp when dh and I are in meetings, but we are trying and its better when there is more teaching now

SquirrelFan · 07/01/2021 10:22

Oh dear I'm really falling short. I am waking them up at 8 every morning, and putting breakfast on the table, but there I stop--they're 16 and 19 (6th form and uni). Neither have classes all day, so sometimes they close their doors and go back to sleep! They do turn up for their classes dressed, but I am doubtful about cameras on...My 6th former confessed to it being "boring" and whatsapping with others in the class...

SmileyClare · 07/01/2021 10:27

Mine dress the top half but usually wear pyjama bottoms. That's mainly because our house is freezing! Often don't have breakfast until "morning break".

I don't think that's really an issue. I wouldn't mind them not getting dressed. The main thing is keeping to the routine of getting up and attending registration and lessons so that their day has structure. Obviously I don't expect them to stop washing altogether but I don't insist on showering in the morning if they had a bath in the evening.

If completing work ( not on mic) they listen to music on their phones whilst working, occasionally have the tv on as background.

I am quite relaxed as long as they're keeping up with the work and feedback from the teachers is good.

If I've learnt anything with teens, it is to pick your battles

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