OH's Sleep

[Workingmummyy]

OH's sleep routine is driving me to distraction.

Firstly we both snore, so its whoever falls asleep first is the lucky one, to be fair i try and let him go first as he works FT and gets up very early.

Anyways so i cant really moan about the snoring, but then its the taking up the whole damn bed and i have to usher him back to his side (push him) like a child, THEN the coughing.

Oh my god the coughing.

He smokes, and every night he will have this insanely loud open mouth yell coughing fit, the volume of it is honestly alien like. When we first got together i would jump up in a panic because of it. And it annoys TF out of me because its smoking related.

Then theres the awful loud alarm clock that he snoozes 3 times at 6am.

AIBU - Is this just normal sleep stuff you have to deal with? What do i do.

Ive mentioned it all but he hasnt really taken it on board. But he will address my snoring as if its a very serious issue!

As we speak he's just had another coughing fit!! Arghhhh

YANBU

Separate rooms?!

The coughing does sound worrying. How long has he had it and how long has he smoked?

What exactly is he meant to do, he's unconscious?

Bed restraints? Hog tied? Intubated?

Separate rooms, preferably not adjoining. Why put yourself through this?

We dont have another room to sleep in thats the problem?

I know, hes asleep, i get that it seems unfair as he doesnt mean to. But im here awake at 3am because of these annoying bloody sleeping habits, the coughing could be reduced if he quit smoking.

He smokes about 20 a day. Has done for the past 5 years or so

I feel your pain, the snoring, the farting, to be honest even the breathing gets me irritated! I've joked numerous times about separate rooms, he assumes I'm joking but I will be very tempted when the kids move out and we have spare rooms again!

If you have the space, do it!

Im unfortunately going through the same thing at the moment with my DH. But the problem isn't snoring, thankfully, neither of us snore.... however he does this thing with his feet whilst he's fast asleep, like a vigorous touching motion that happens ever 20 seconds (I've timed it) I've noticed it happening since we've been living together near enough every night he does the same thing. 2 years down the line I'm really getting fed up of it... like tonight it took me ages to blank it out and get to sleep, it's the biggest distraction.

When I'm in bed I do not move at all, I stay in the same spot, silent as one can be. I've mentioned it to him loads, but he just doesn't care.

We have a spare single bed in another room, I would hate to sleep in there for the foreseeable.. but it's either that or divorce.

@Workingmummyy

We dont have another room to sleep in thats the problem?

I know, hes asleep, i get that it seems unfair as he doesnt mean to. But im here awake at 3am because of these annoying bloody sleeping habits, the coughing could be reduced if he quit smoking.

He smokes about 20 a day. Has done for the past 5 years or so

The coughing will get way worse before it gets better with the quitting.

The stuff that comes up the first few weeks is

@zb2019

Im unfortunately going through the same thing at the moment with my DH. But the problem isn't snoring, thankfully, neither of us snore.... however he does this thing with his feet whilst he's fast asleep, like a vigorous touching motion that happens ever 20 seconds (I've timed it) I've noticed it happening since we've been living together near enough every night he does the same thing. 2 years down the line I'm really getting fed up of it... like tonight it took me ages to blank it out and get to sleep, it's the biggest distraction.

When I'm in bed I do not move at all, I stay in the same spot, silent as one can be. I've mentioned it to him loads, but he just doesn't care.

We have a spare single bed in another room, I would hate to sleep in there for the foreseeable.. but it's either that or divorce.

Awww like a puppy

Sofabed in the living room?

We have a sofa bed in the living room. We bought the best one we could afford, metal action, designed for frequent use, suitable for a heavy person.
I have "my room" and the sofa bed is DHs.
Occasionally, like tonight, he goes upstairs and I stay down, but we never, ever attempt to actually sleep in the same bed anymore.
This has saved our lives marriage, honestly!

Oh, and our sex life is fine! If anything it's more exciting sneaking about the house while the DC are asleep AND I get to go back to my nice bed with all my cushions and throws and he gets the damp patch

Get him to get a smart watch with a silent alarm for starters.

Could you address the coughing with him as a health concern, does he care?

@PomBearWithoutHerOFRS

Oh, and our sex life is fine! If anything it's more exciting sneaking about the house while the DC are asleep AND I get to go back to my nice bed with all my cushions and throws and he gets the damp patch

One of the few things the patriarchy did for women. Women get the bed. Men get the sofa.

Has he been checked over, medically, to see if the shout/coughing can be controlled or eliminated?

If not, tell him to get that done. Then take the nexxt steps.

I used to lie awake putting up with the bed hogging and loud snoring, but now i push him back to his place. And if he does it again, i wake him up. If that leads to grumpy arguments i sleep on the sofa.

So the alarm clock, set it to the time he actually gets up ( probably 6.30). The coughing fit, kick him in the ribs every tome he does it, ie wake him up. If he then say he’ll try to give up then stop doing it even if he coughs. Same with the space taking.