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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What recourse do I have for school refusing to give “vulnerable child” place to DC with ASD (but no EHCP)

301 replies

Fr0thandBubble · 06/01/2021 19:38

DS1 has autism and is struggling to access online learning. He struggles with concentration and executive functioning and finds it very hard/impossible to work independently at home. Both DH and I have full time jobs and have very limited time to sit with him and help him.

We have therefore asked his school for a place as a “vulnerable child”, on the basis that he is having difficulty engaging with remote education (one of the stated grounds). They have said no as they already have 18 key worker children and children with EHCPs in his year who have places in school (my DS does not have an EHCP but does have an official diagnosis of autism and is registered with the local authority’s children centre and CAMHS). 18 is a lot less than his usual class size of 30.

I’ve just had a huge row with his SENCO and made it clear that I consider that they are failing their legal obligation to educate him but what the hell can I actually do to make them give him a place? I know this isn’t an AIBU but posting for traffic - if anyone has any advice it would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
CeibaTree · 07/01/2021 14:56

Great news about the U-turn. If you think your DS will never be able to live an independent life though, wouldn't it be better for you to get an ECHP for him so he gets the best support available to him?

Snowbeau · 07/01/2021 15:15

I'm glad you got what you want

sheworkshardforthemoney · 07/01/2021 16:10

Someone covid positive from the hub at one of our schools (trust) some kids and teachers now isolating for 10 days

christinarossetti19 · 07/01/2021 16:19

sheworkshardforthemoney

I had a bet with myself that the first post about a bubble closure would be before the end of the week. Sad

I'm really concerned that this (again) Lockdown Lite is going to fuel further 'explosive outbreaks' in schools.

HikeForward · 07/01/2021 16:26

It sounds like the class is full and they expect you or DH to educate at home.

Yes you both have FT jobs but unless you’re keyworkers one or both of you need to reduce your hours or ask for furlough or take annual leave. The school isn’t responsible for his education in a pandemic, you are. Why ‘fight tooth and nail’ not to be the one educating him?

The keyworker children probably have parents in critical jobs. Other kids might be unsafe or vulnerable at home or have more complex needs.

Mysteryamazonian · 07/01/2021 16:29

Wow. You are both home. You have evenings and weekends.

You have an after school nanny that comes over frequently.

Your child may have far higher needs than most, but you also have far greater opportunity to do the work at home than most.

You are coming across as very entitled.

christinarossetti19 · 07/01/2021 16:34

Read the update folks.

The school have offered OP's ds a place, which is great.

Mysteryamazonian · 07/01/2021 16:45

Why is it great? Yet another child in schools when they should be keeping the number to an absolute minimum.

It's great for these parents. Great for this child. But when replicated across the country, it's one reason this pandemic is dragging out so long. Everyone seems to have a reason why their families situation is exceptional, so schools need to be selective.

Clarinsmum · 07/01/2021 16:47

Have a Biscuit

Punxsutawney · 07/01/2021 16:47

Fr0th it may still be worth making a parental application for a needs assessment.

Ds's old Senco told me that he would not get an EHCP and that if we did a parental application, she would tell the LA he didn't need one. She did exactly that, when we applied. She refused to fill the school form in properly leaving sections blank or just writing 'don't know'. Then told the LA that all his needs were being met.

That was in July last year. In December the LA SEND panel decided that Ds did actually need an EHCP and we are waiting for the final copy, so she was wrong. He no longer attends that school.

hiredandsqueak · 07/01/2021 17:25

@Punxsutawney schools are coached in LA policy which bears little resemblance to the law. I've quoted criteria for assessment it isn't difficult to meet the criteria for assessment as it is so broad. Get independent assessments made if you can or if you qualify for Legal Aid get them along with a solicitor through Legal Aid and really any rubbish from a school is quickly discounted.
If I had listened to half the rubbish schools and LA's spout my very academically able dd with an IQ OF 164 and no behavioural difficulties wouldn't be in an independent specialist school that the LA are funding at a cost of more than £70k pa.

TheBuffster · 07/01/2021 17:26

@Mysteryamazonian

Why is it great? Yet another child in schools when they should be keeping the number to an absolute minimum.

It's great for these parents. Great for this child. But when replicated across the country, it's one reason this pandemic is dragging out so long. Everyone seems to have a reason why their families situation is exceptional, so schools need to be selective.

A person with two parents at home and a nanny. I'm sure 99% of the population are worse off.
Original poster
Fr0thandBubble · 07/01/2021 18:18

@TheBuffster We have an after school nanny two afternoons per week for a grand total of 6 hours per week. Not a full-time nanny like you have implied.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fr0thandBubble · 07/01/2021 18:21

And thanks to those who have advised trying to get an EHCP. We will look into it - I do think he would really benefit from some additional support.

OP posts:
hiredandsqueak · 07/01/2021 18:30

@Fr0thandBubble with good independent assessments from SALT OT and Ed Psych then you might even be able to build the case for the EHCP funding your son's place at the independent prep of your choice if reports support your assertion and SENCo's confirmation that he wouldn't cope in a mainstream secondary.

christinarossetti19 · 07/01/2021 18:38

Wow.

Now that 'vulnerable children' can't be weaponised for the case for keeping all school sites open, they seem to be nuisance when their parents do actually want them to attend school.

Very pleased for you OP. It definitely sounds like the best place for your child to be at the moment.

Mysteryamazonian · 07/01/2021 18:53

@Fr0thandBubble

You mean you have 6 hours a week (so the equivalent of over an hour for each school day) where someone can in person sit down with your children, and help them work, without it impacting on your evenings, or your schedule, and help them learn.

Yes, that's much more than most families have right now.

It makes you sound very out of touch with how people are managing (or not) at the moment.

Original poster
Fr0thandBubble · 07/01/2021 19:10

@Mysteryamazonian I think you need to drop this point. She doesn’t speak English well and wouldn’t be able to help them with their schoolwork. She plays with them and cooks for them, that’s it. And it’s 6 hours per week. My job requires 50-60 hours per week, so we really do not have much time.

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 07/01/2021 20:21

Why is it great? Yet another child in schools when they should be keeping the number to an absolute minimum.

It's great for these parents. Great for this child. But when replicated across the country, it's one reason this pandemic is dragging out so long. Everyone seems to have a reason why their families situation is exceptional, so schools need to be selective

Schools are closed. You got what you wanted.

But the government/schools can’t just forget about vulnerable children and leave them to suffer. My children’s school had vulnerable children as top priority for their places. My DS currently goes to school full time 5 days a week because that’s what he needs and he is entitled to it. You know nothing about DS or any other child who needs a school place like him, so it’s really not your call to make about whether they should be in school or not. I really don’t know what people expected when they wanted schools to close - 3 children per class? Sorry but if that’s what people thought would happen then there are a lot of very naive people out there.

I proudly walk with DS every morning to school, knowing I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. He’s yet another child in school as you put it, but he’s also yet another child who needs it. There was never going to be teeny weeny numbers at school. Key workers have nothing to be ashamed of either.

borntohula · 07/01/2021 20:41

@Mysteryamazonian

Why is it great? Yet another child in schools when they should be keeping the number to an absolute minimum.

It's great for these parents. Great for this child. But when replicated across the country, it's one reason this pandemic is dragging out so long. Everyone seems to have a reason why their families situation is exceptional, so schools need to be selective.

IT'S A FUCKING VIRUS! A virus which most of us are not vaccinated against. THAT'S why it's 'dragging out so long.' You think it'll just get bored and go away if there aren't enough people leaving their houses to catch it? It won't stop until the vaccine is widely available. Until then, some children are better off in school, like it or not!
funkystars123 · 07/01/2021 21:09

@underneaththeash

You've had some very odd replies OP. I'd email school again and "remind" them that they have to take him. It's not optional.

Most schools will need to educate around 20% of children in the classroom. Which is significantly better than 100% and will mean much less transmission.

I totally agree with this! Very odd replies from people who have no experience or understanding...

I have two kids with asd, no EHCP's my ds is in school my daughter is not.

Different kids different needs.... my ds can not work at home, he's 14 and it does matter.. he will have gcses soon.... his future is being determined and he matters! In first lockdown he stayed at home, didn't work, see people or exercise and became very withdrawn... eventually he went to school as a key worker child and things got so much better- structure and routine and it's school not home.... he has asd and these things matter.

I am a key worker working from home ( in a council COVID response role) but that is not the point for him, he just can't learn at home.... life is bloody hard enough for them without me sacrificing him further because people don't understand that he is different ( wonderful to ) and needs this... luckily his school does and his head rang me to say he should be in school...

Op please do push the school that is your job as a sen parent we know this...... they should have him in and you need to challenge them as he is vulnerable.

Good luck and ignore the ignorant...

Original poster
Fr0thandBubble · 07/01/2021 21:29

@funkystars123 Thanks - school told us today he would have a place, we are very relived 😊.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fr0thandBubble · 07/01/2021 21:30

*relieved!

OP posts:
funkystars123 · 07/01/2021 21:34

[quote Fr0thandBubble]@funkystars123 Thanks - school told us today he would have a place, we are very relived 😊.[/quote]
Well done!!! It's so worth the battle... Ds's school did not understand for a long time... Now they do..

funkystars123 · 07/01/2021 21:39

@Mysteryamazonian

Why is it great? Yet another child in schools when they should be keeping the number to an absolute minimum.

It's great for these parents. Great for this child. But when replicated across the country, it's one reason this pandemic is dragging out so long. Everyone seems to have a reason why their families situation is exceptional, so schools need to be selective.

It's great because this is about a child's life...

This is not a short term issue, it's been nearly a year- kids with ASD struggle with change and this is change after change... There have very sadly been a number of suicides of kids with ASD...this is a serious issue and not just about a parent wanting a break.

Unless you have a kid with SEN you will not understand

Unless you