AIBU not withdrawing child from nursery.

[ZigZagCat]

Hi

DS was adopted by DP and myself about five months ago. He is 3½ years old.

We have scored 30 hours nursery, which is great as it will help him with his social development and speech. Rejoice.

However, DP is reporting back that MiL is upset because she is vulnerable and is skittish about seeing DS if he has been mixing.

I think DP is edging towards MiL's PoV. I, however, suggested that DS goes in nursery Mon-Wed and, after nursery, gets a swab. Therefore DS can spend time with MiL Thurs-Sun.

I value the effect nursery is having on DS and back to FT work anyway, so the only horse I have in the race is some degree of happiness from all involved and DS gaining skills that he will sorely lack just playing with 'nanny and grandaddy'.

Obviously, I don't want MiL catching Covid-19 from DS as well

Glad you have decided against putting a 3 year old through that test weekly! Congratulations on your adoption.

We have two in nursery still, one from a development pov it’s great for early years learning and two as we are working so it’s a massive benefit.

I spoke to the HV and they said transmission rates in under 5s are still very small, the new strain is affecting older children more. Our nursery has bubbles and loads of Covid measures in place. I don’t feel like the risk is too large them attending.

I understand where your MIL is coming from, I wouldn’t take them out in your situation. I also wouldn’t put your LO through a test they didn’t need to, I have only done it once and it was awful.

Would your MIL be happy to reduce contact for a few weeks until the cases start to decrease?

Also completely depends where you are based, if it’s london I would be more worried than up north.

It’s a tough situation!

Why does he need to spend 4 days a week with your MIL
Would be ridiculous to test him weekly for no reason.

After the recent adoption, Ds needs the stability and routine of nursery, it's good for him right now. MIL will have to wait.

Voted YABU. One or the other.

I would hate to put a young child through regular testing.

ASoS - oop North, previously T2.

The MiL has ceded that nursery is more important at the moment, which is something I wanted to tell her directly. However, I also wanted to avoid upsetting DP as I can be pretty blunt at times.

Bazoo23 - DS spends Sat and Sunday with me, as I work long hours during the week and quality time is pretty important. However, sometimes he went for an hour or two on weekends while I got to do boring stuff like marking, which is impossible with him around.

Anyway, glad I am not beung unreasonable putting his future first. He can video-call nanny during the week!

@ZigZagCat

'Pilot scheme where I live. Takes less than an hour to get a response and puts your gag reflexes to the test. I tend to get them weekly '

You want to subject your poor 4YO to this ???

You really planned to do that to your child every week just so your MIL could see him? Ridiculous.

[quote OJCJM]@ZigZagCat

'Pilot scheme where I live. Takes less than an hour to get a response and puts your gag reflexes to the test. I tend to get them weekly '

You want to subject your poor 4YO to this ???[/quote]
Not particularly, but if MiL wants to see him there is no other option. Luckily, she has admitted he is better in nursery.

Keep the nursery.
No tests.
MiL is a grown up and can decide if bonding with her new son is worth a relatively low risk from him being in nursery.

The negative test after nursery is not a safeguard really. Your son could be incubating the virus but not have a detectable viral load but could still pass on covid that’s why anyone who has contact with a positive in the 48hrs before their positive has to isolate for the incubation period it would potentially be a false reassurance, tests are only a reflection of the second they were taken a bit like a photograph.

I’m still sending mine for his development and my sanity !!

Asymptomatic tests have limited value, particularly in children. I'm glad you have decided against this.

It's best to not see the grandmother at the moment, especially if she is vulnerable

Does he need to be in nursery? Are you and your dh keyworkers? All these posters saying their kids have to be in nursery for their development and their parents sanity yeah never mind the safety of the staff that the kids will be coughing and sneezing on and wiping their snot on eh? Kids of that age are unlikely to get ill with Covid- staff aren’t going to be so lucky.

Look if we are serious about reducing the transmission of this very infectious new variant of Covid, then kids who can stay at home should be at home - that’s apparently why schools are closed .......Can we stop pretending there is a magic protective barrier around nurseries?

YABU at wanting to swab him.

YANBU to send him to nursery, it will be good for him.

I wouldnt put a 3 year old through testing when its unnecessary. Mil being extremely selfish.