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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go Ewwww at how my eldest's using her re-usable period pads

224 replies

Wills · 06/01/2021 15:31

Now, I'm not against them, just against her tossing them into the main washing pile! I have four kids and do approximately 2 loads minimum a day BUT sometimes some things get left for a while at the bottom - this has lead me, in the past, to insist that ordinary used face flannels are put in a separate container in the bathroom that I can pick up and put in the wash before they start to stink. But given how I feel about face flannels being left to fester I hope you can understand that I'm being rather squeamish about used sanitary towels. At the same time I want to be progressive and save the planet and my youngest will be starting in the next 2 years so umm, if you use them how do you 'deal with them'. I have 3 daughters so need to find a solution suitable for them all.

OP posts:
MissMarpleDarling · 06/01/2021 22:46

Don't use them ugh

echt · 06/01/2021 22:49

@Wills

Now, I'm not against them, just against her tossing them into the main washing pile! I have four kids and do approximately 2 loads minimum a day BUT sometimes some things get left for a while at the bottom - this has lead me, in the past, to insist that ordinary used face flannels are put in a separate container in the bathroom that I can pick up and put in the wash before they start to stink. But given how I feel about face flannels being left to fester I hope you can understand that I'm being rather squeamish about used sanitary towels. At the same time I want to be progressive and save the planet and my youngest will be starting in the next 2 years so umm, if you use them how do you 'deal with them'. I have 3 daughters so need to find a solution suitable for them all.
What are your laundry arrangements for shit-stained undies?

Whatever they are, they should be fine for blood-stained pads.

KindKylie · 06/01/2021 23:04

I use a mix of things including period pants and reusable pads. I either stick them straight in the washing machine or a wet bag which I then add to the wash. I don't rinse and make wetter for eg. I just wash with other stuff as normal. Never had a problem. We don't use fabric conditioner ever for anything so that's easier I guess.

If you're using a standard laundry detergent then the surfactant works against any nasties and the massive amount of water used in the rinse cycle is more than enough to combat what will be only millilitres of blood.

Resusable products don't have the same odour that disposable ones do at all. I much prefer them for many reasons.

QueenPawPaws · 06/01/2021 23:05

@MissMarpleDarling ugh at saving loads of plastic going into landfill? Or being more comfortable? Saving money?
They do get washed... it's like if you get blood on a towel, you wash it, it comes out

NiceandCalm · 06/01/2021 23:52

I think I'm far too old for this! I'm quite shocked that this is a thing now. I really am. I'm in the menopause but have break through bleeding on HRT occasionally. It kinda reminds me of stories about the Victorian era when 'ladies' bled together and all the towels got put in a boiling hot vat of water and apparently it stunk like an abattoir. Yes I get that it's a natural bodily function but I wouldn't expect anyone to shove blood soaked towels straight into the washing machine. Equally, if anyone had a wee or poo accident, I wouldn't expect them to put in directly into the washing machine.
Dunk them in a nappy bucket or educate them on moon cups?

Silverdeer · 07/01/2021 00:00

Are these any good for those with heavy flows and lots of clots?

TableFlowerss · 07/01/2021 00:32

@MaliceOrgan

Yeah, that sounds great. Make her think that periods are something to hide and to be ashamed of. Yup, that's going to end well.
Ehh? Don’t be ridiculous!

That’s like saying don’t flush the toilet after use because we don’t want people to feel ashamed or hide it....

It’s a bodily fluid and will start to smell if left and if it gets on other clothes in washing pile it could stain!

NiceandCalm · 07/01/2021 00:50

Once blood leaves the body it builds bacteria, which causes the smell. Whether natural or not, it's not nice.

GoldfishParade · 07/01/2021 05:49

Let's get real here: fresh period blood is inoffensive. Period blood left in a laundry basket for 2 days smells....frankly absolutely disgusting. Why wouldn't it?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/01/2021 07:56

I do wonder if some people are imagining they smell like used disposable sanitary towels - it's in no way comparable.

Have to admit - I thought this.

Sceptre86 · 07/01/2021 09:34

I would ask her to rinse out and put in a bag. They you just add the bag to the washing that week. I was quite young when my periods started and would sometimes leak. My mum was very supportive, taught me all about the importance of personal hygiene and letting her know if I leaked for instance on my bed sheet. She would change them without a second glance and never made me feel like it was gross. I only hope I can do the same for my dd. Good on your dd for being so environmentally conscious.

Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople · 07/01/2021 10:16

Reading this thread it’s easy to see the effects of years of a whole industry telling women that period blood is terribly unhygienic and awful and you must wash and cleanse and disinfect yourself. In reality these products cause all kinds of trouble to women.

80sMum · 07/01/2021 10:23

I think reusable pads are great but I must admit that I wouldn't just leave them and then put them in with the everyday wash load.
Had I ever used these, I think I would probably have rinsed them in cold water then soaked in bucket of mild detergent before putting them in the weekly hot wash with the towels.

Ariela · 07/01/2021 10:24

If she's old enough to menstruate she's old enough to learn how to operate the washing machine and do her own washing IMHO.

pinfloy · 07/01/2021 10:31

I don't understand the rinsing to be honest, wetting something and leaving it damp is much more likely to lead to something smelly ime.

notsorighteousthesedays · 07/01/2021 10:55

In the fine old Mumsnet tradition of whataboutery - what are the hygiene/laundry rules for wanksocks in your home? Or do the menz use tissues and leave them crumpled on the floor/in the bed? Cos they do stink...... Grin

TrialOfStyle · 07/01/2021 11:01

@Silverdeer

Are these any good for those with heavy flows and lots of clots?
Yes. I find they have nearly double the absorbency of disposables. Though on really heavy days I double with a mooncup just to be sure (especially when sleeping).

Rinse, into a mesh bag, into normal wash. Not sure why people are faffing with additional washes.

RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper · 07/01/2021 11:10

Blood/urine/faeces/even sweat/saliva/semen/pus/phlegm/mucus/smegma = have distinct smell and some stain things. It's not awful Hmm. They're all natural.

Whether it's period or arm wound, it isn't about where it comes from but about what to do with your personal bodily fluid and something that stains clothes (and some, also body).

They're not unhygienic on their own but it is unhygienic when you don't handle them appropriately, especially when others are involuntarily subjected to it.

Normally, I would say people should know this and be able to tell the difference (for the 'everything-shaming' crew) but nope, I'm pretty sure not everyone does.

MandosHatHair · 07/01/2021 11:13

It's not punishing her or shaming her to teach her how to wash her own pads ffs. It's a fact of life that women do have the additional monthly chore of dealing with menstruation. She will have periods for the next few decades so it is in her own best interests to learn how to wash her pads in a hygienic way if she wants to use cloth. It's perfectly OK for her to use disposable pads until she is ready for the responsibility of cloth, she doesn't have the right to expect her mum to wash them for her.

MandosHatHair · 07/01/2021 11:15

I part time cloth by the way, sometimes I can't be arsed to deal with my own blood so I use disposables then, I wouldn't be thrilled about finding someone else's pads in amoung the washing.

Notajogger · 07/01/2021 11:33

Rinse and stick in with the flannels seems the easy option to me!

PenfoldPenny · 07/01/2021 12:16

Yes YABU.

We both chuck ours in the washing basket (poppered closed so there is nothing icky to see/touch). Then when the washing gets done they get unpoppered and thrown into a lidded bucket of water that lives by the outside tap. Rinse a few hours later, bung in the washing machine, peg out to dry, job done. No mess and no smell once washed. Even when transferring to and from the bucket its not that awful really.

notalwaysalondoner · 07/01/2021 12:19

I think it’s up to your DD3 to decide what to use - forcing her straight onto renewables or equally disposables is wrong in my opinion. I personally went straight to tampons when I was only 11, but for my mum to tell me what to do (rather than support me to try what worked best for me) would have been overbearing. I get that you care about the environment but it’s her body, her choice (although think she should wash her own reusables if it was her insisting on using them, but sounds like it’s you). So I’d let her make the decision and also see if she wants to try mooncup, period pants or disposable tampons and enable that choice.

sleepfortheweek · 07/01/2021 12:23

I use them, and after rinsing used ones with cold water i then put them in a lidded bucket which has cold water (and mesh bag) in it. It's a nappy bucket actually as used reusable nappies with DD2 but any lidded bucket would do tbh.

Well done to your DD for using them Smile

Snog · 07/01/2021 12:31

For my dds period pants - which she says are amazingly comfy- you rinse them in cold water after wearing and wash in the machine with no conditioner. I wouldn't leave more than 24-48 hours before washing them in the machine.