Hating being a working mum

[Northernmummy80]

Can anyone give me hope or encouragement to stick it out as a working mum. I’m very fortunate that I’m part time but I still hate it. We would be very much on the breadline if I quit so would struggle if I gave up work.

I feel like I’m still doing both jobs half and half and my child said they didn’t want to go to nursery this morning and the baby cried.

I could sit here and cry today!

I’m not usually one to be unsympathetic but you work part time and still have nursery care available to you

I think you need to gain some perspective right now as thousands of us try to work full time with our children at home let alone provide any level of home learning

@Handsnotwands I’m so sorry that lots of people are in that situation it completely sucks.

I would actually prefer our nursery to close as then I would have an excuse to have the kids at home with me. I definitely have separation anxiety and PND. Sorry I will maybe ring the GP instead of posting on here it’s probably not the right forum

I’m sorry. I hate it when people do the but at least you haven’t xxxx

I hate being a working mum too. I’ve always worked because I have to, not because I want to.

However, I have got a job now that I really love, the job itself is the same mundane crap but it’s a great company with brilliant people. And the difference in my attitude and feelings towards work is huge

So my advice would be (after you’ve got help for your PND etc) it to keep trying / plugging away / figuring out what interests you until you find a role that gives you some satisfaction

It’s hard. I know how hard it is and I’m sorry for being so unsympathetic.

If you're sending two to nursery and working part time are you going to clear that much ?

I hated being a working mum when mine were smaller. It's much better now they're 6 and 3 and their care is a bit less intense and they're more independent. I would have given up my job in a second when they were babies but I'm glad I stuck at it. We're also financially better off as the youngest gets the 30 hour funding (and looking forward to school in September where we'll reduce childcare costs even further).

For me it got better and I'm even considering doing a post graduate course which I could've even have considered a few years ago.

My husband does do his fair share though and does equal school/ nursery runs and shares responsibility of everything which makes a massive difference.

I remember it being really hard too. I felt like no one was happy cause I was always in a rush, never enough time to do the house hold stuff etc. Didn't help that my oh was in army. And I was at uni part time, this was paid for by work. after childcare I only had about £10 left and thought was it worth it. I often thought about giving up. But I stuck with it and now I'm really glad that I did. You will get through it.

I actually found working part-time harder then full-time. Part-time I was making up work on evenings and weekends. Didn’t feel I was doing either work of parenting great, but it kept my foot in the door.

I am now full-time. Kids at school and I’m really glad I struggled on, because now I have a good career and we reap the benefits of me having a good income.

So my advice don’t quit, give yourself a break, lower standards and know these times will pass and you will be glad you stuck in there.

Definitely go to the GP. It is really hard work balancing working and parenting and PND happens to a lot of women.

You are fortunate to have a part time job, just hang in there, over time it will be worth it.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. What you are feeling is common. Accept that you feel like this for now, and get some help if you think it would be of benefit to you.
It doesn’t matter if you work PT or FT. You are working and feeling the strain. I work FT with a baby and toddler and it’s tough. When I’m feeling awful, I try to visualise my life in a few years when hopefully things are a bit easier. I also know that it would be easier for me to quit working now in the short term. However, long term, this would be a disaster for me (years building a career etc) and when the children are older, I know I will want my own interest/career and something more to occupy my mind.
Talk to people in RL about how you feel too, including your partner x

Oh op I've been there too it's awful, I returned to a job I hated after mat leave and was quickly pushed back to full time which made it all the worse.

Definitely try and get some support from gp if you feel it's pnd, do you have a hv you can speak with as well?

I'd also echo pp, are you bringing that much in when you counter in nursery fees?

Seek support if you’re struggling but also remember your D.C. will forget all of this, they aren’t going to be scarred for life. I expect within a few minutes of you leaving them they’re over it.

As they get older, they will need you less in the physical sense and you will likely enjoy the respite you get at work. Or, you won’t need to pay for nursery and can give up work...