Feeling left out

[Gymfab]

Just wanting people options on this one please .
Just before Christmas my brother told me I've been left off the will.
My three brothers will benefit from the will but not myself.
I was adopted by my uncle and his wife from a year old they've three blood sons and I've never felt accepted in my eyes .
This is not a about money at all I've got what I need to live , it's more of the rejection I feel it's awful.
My adopted mum died 3 years ago my dad is still alive but I don't want to see him at the moment because I feel so hurt that hes signed it not told me and acts normal when I go see him.
Mum and me never really got on she wasn't a loving caring mother to all of us , very cold no idea why she had kids.Always seem to be ok with my dad even though he was at work all the time .
The question is do i just not bother with my dad or do i confront him about it .
My brother who told me asked him why I'd been left out my dad says it's your mother will that i be left out , so is it also his since he also signed it. Feel so hurt and alone at the moment.

I don’t think you confront him but I do think you say “ you may or may not have noticed that I’m not visiting you. I have found out you have done something but not been upfront with me about it. Perhaps you would like to be upfront about it now?” And see what he says. Take the emotion right out of it though. Act almost zombie like - slow and cold and monotone and matter of fact. Choose wording carefully.

How hurtful fo you, OP. Does the backstory — why you were adopted by your uncle and his wife — explain any of it? Are your birth parents alive?

That’s so sad , OP. Families can be awful. You sound lovely. If it were me , then I would ask your father the reasons why ( in a measured, calm way). I think that you deserve an answer. If the answer is not acceptable to you, then I would consider putting some distance from the family who you don’t think have your best interests at heart.concentrate on those in your life who are there for you.

Just one question. Was anything left to you at all from your biological parents and they therefore considered you've already inherited?

If not, it's especially nasty.

I think you should calmly raise it and ask. But I also wonder about your brother’s motives here.

As a child with half siblings, if I had found that out I would speak to my other siblings and agree that in the event of Dad’s death I’d gift you X. I wouldn’t tell you. I don’t know what good telling you would do other than to cause trouble.

In all honesty, I think you might be better cutting your ties completely. At least then you can’t be sucked back into things that will cause hurt and upset and compound feelings you experienced growing up.

No meet my birth mum shes on benefits for mental health reasons , my birth dad I've never meet , reading my foster files showed him to not want anything to do with me .

You need to confront him. Not necessarily in an aggressive way, but just state what your brother told you and how it makes you feel. He can either reject you to your face or say it's not true (or agree to change his will). Whatever the outcome, you can then move on. Either you are part of the family (and get the money owed to you) or you're not, in which case you can tell him to shove it.

How do your brothers actually know this for sure. I could take a guess but I have no idea what my mothers will says and my late father left it all to his new wife 🤷🏼‍♀️

Whilst my mum was alive he started a relationship with her best friend. After my mum died it carried on but just recently she finished turns out shes taken 42 thousand from him and the brothers got to know so my brother took control of his affairs and found the will.
I d been with my partner 14 years when we final got married she took offence at my husband not asking my dad for my hand in marriage. And wrote on the wedding reception invite she was disgusted with me and wanted nothing to do with me , I got married abroad it was cheaper I never was getting married over here and I informed them about this decision.
In my late 30s I reach out and we decided to start again it wasnt the same and apparently this is when she wrote the will .
I only really talk to the middle brother and they,ve not offered to share which I wouldnt expect anything , and wouldn't be right cause it was my parents choice to exclude me .