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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

One or two?

31 replies

Whatnext2018 · 05/01/2021 21:06

If you have more than one child, were you happier when you just had one or when you had another? In all honesty..

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 05/01/2021 21:09

Asking that is a bit silly because it's so subjective. There's no pattern to it. Someone might have been happier with one because that's when their husband was earning well in a job he loved...or they might have been sad because their husband left them...having a second...the same. It's all circumstantial.

Eternia · 05/01/2021 21:10

I was happy with one and am so so happy with two. But it's harder with two

Shetoshe · 05/01/2021 21:53

Happier with two after the first two years. The first couple of years with two DC close in age was hellish.

DramaAlpaca · 05/01/2021 21:55

@Shetoshe

Happier with two after the first two years. The first couple of years with two DC close in age was hellish.
Similar here. Then I had a third and was happy because my family was complete.
Aria2015 · 05/01/2021 22:13

Happier with two. Found it easier having two than expected. Helps that my eldest is in school and fairly independent though. I think I'd have really struggled with a small age gap.

Jfw82 · 05/01/2021 22:15

@Eternia

I was happy with one and am so so happy with two. But it's harder with two
This. I loved my son but having my daughter and seeing them together makes me so happy
Twistiesandshout · 05/01/2021 22:15

two

Twistiesandshout · 05/01/2021 22:15

and now three

MondeoFan · 05/01/2021 22:17

Happier when I had another is my honest opinion. But then I have a 9 year gap so it was almost like having a single child following another single child. It's a bit better now they are 6 and 15 as we do loads together

HeyMister · 05/01/2021 22:18

Early years were pants but they're 4 & 5 now and its amazing. I don't think I'd have been happy with one child but I most certainly didn't plan two a year apart but its perfect! ❤

Edgeoftheledge · 05/01/2021 22:19

Not happier but sometimes wish I’d had one

RIPworkingmums · 05/01/2021 22:22

Happiest with 2. I have 3 now and that is really, really hard (mainly due to lockdown/home schooling).

snowythesnow · 05/01/2021 22:34

Very happy with two. I can see how me and DP would've had more time for things and definitely a tidier home Grin if we stayed at 1 but dc2 has slotted in so well and it's so lovely to have given dc1 a sibling too.

They are the best of friends and both very different yet wonderful personalities.

Clangerschick · 05/01/2021 22:44

Happy with one, he was a little superstar from birth. Had second one when he was 6 years old in all honesty to keep him company /give him family when he’s older and we have gone. Found having the second so much harder work. Although did most of it on my own. Thought I was done but change of circumstances (including a change of husband for the better) means I now have child three and child four and never been happier. Agree that circumstances (attitude of husband/partner) makes a huge difference to the perceived ‘work load’ of being a parent and consequently the ‘enjoyment/happiness’ of having the children.

TalkSenseIntoMe · 05/01/2021 22:53

Following.

Puffykins · 05/01/2021 22:55

Happier with two. They're under two years apart and it immediately just became more fun. And now they have each other which is great. It helped I guess that DC2 was very, very easy so I was never sleep deprived again as I was in the beginning with DC1.

SlB09 · 05/01/2021 22:57

F

Tinty · 05/01/2021 23:02

Gloriously happy with two, loved one to bits and had 8 years between them. They get on like a house on fire when they aren’t winding each other up. Grin. But it is even more wonderful with two.

kirkandpetal · 05/01/2021 23:19

I was over the moon with one - she took a long time and heartache to conceive. We tried for no2 but we're relaxed in our decision that if it didn't happen then that was okay - we would be destined to just have one, and that would be perfect for us.

However, no2 was conceived relatively quickly! So she was a bonus and I am grateful and more than thrilled to have two! Starting to pay dividends now that they have similar interests and can hang out together (ages 11 and 8) and I love to eavesdrop in their conversations! although they can have spectacular busts ups too.

365sleepstogo · 05/01/2021 23:25

Adored my DC1 couldn’t imagine loving another child as much and DC2 came along (planned) and proved me wrong (as I expected). They have always got on well but their relationship has totally come into their own over the various lockdowns - so grateful to have them both, it’s been a blessing for our and their mental health. I know we are very lucky to be able to say that.

Givemeabreak88 · 05/01/2021 23:27

I have 4 so not really the same but sometimes I wish I had one!

Twobrews · 05/01/2021 23:38

There were time with two when I wish I'd stuck to one, but there were times with one I wished I had none!
Now I have four, the age gaps are random but things just work.

Adelais · 05/01/2021 23:40

I was happier with one however my second is still a baby and I’m finding it hard with the pandemic and her being a more difficult baby than dd1. I may feel differently in the future.

Claireshh · 05/01/2021 23:46

Love having two and would have had more if I could. They are 9 and 11.

Theraindropontherose · 06/01/2021 00:01

Loved having one, love having two! Always wanted a sibling for DS1 and absolutely love the fact that they are best friends now they are 18 and 16.