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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cry into a bottle of wine tonight?

45 replies

Ohdoleavemealone · 05/01/2021 16:35

I know I won't be alone hear, but today the details of the kids homeschooling has been released. DS should be on call 3 times a day and DD once. Other work to be completed in between.
DH working full time - has to be active online between 10-4pm, has meetings etc.
I am a teacher - have to teach on Teams 2-3 hours a day and complete paperwork, correspondance and planning.

How do we do all this?? The kids are 8 and 5 so will need help logging on and the youngest needs supervising for pretty much anything school related.
Can someone tell me it is okay not to be able to do this? AIBU to contact DS teacher and say there will be days where I just can't get him online on time if at all at every slot?

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 05/01/2021 16:40

What does "on call" mean?

Why should an 8yo and a 5yo be "on call" at all?

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 05/01/2021 16:41

Sorry it should say on A call. The school expect them to be on google meets at those times.

OP posts:
ClassicLego · 05/01/2021 16:43

YANBU
Can they not go into school as key worker children?

Crunchymum · 05/01/2021 16:44

Wow, they expect an 8 and 5 yo on Google Meets?

Is this private?

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 05/01/2021 16:45

No. The school said only if 2 parents are keyworkers.

DH has asked to be furloughed so I have my fingers crossed that mavbe by the end of next week, things will be easier. Right now though, I feel like something has to give.

OP posts:
sixpencenonethepoorer · 05/01/2021 16:45

@ClassicLego

YANBU Can they not go into school as key worker children?
I was about to say this too. Could they go in even the odd day here or there? I'm in similar position as teaching myself online and my own children finding the online stuff hard! I'm considering their options for the next few weeks.
unmarkedbythat · 05/01/2021 16:46

Can someone tell me it is okay not to be able to do this?
It is okay not to be able to do this.

AIBU to contact DS teacher and say there will be days where I just can't get him online on time if at all at every slot?
Yanbu at all.

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 05/01/2021 16:46

@Crunchymum I think it is as a class.
Doesn't say how long they will be on for.

OP posts:
sixpencenonethepoorer · 05/01/2021 16:46

Cross post - sorry OP!

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 05/01/2021 16:46

@unmarkedbythat

Can someone tell me it is okay not to be able to do this? It is okay not to be able to do this.

AIBU to contact DS teacher and say there will be days where I just can't get him online on time if at all at every slot?
Yanbu at all.

Thank you.
OP posts:
FraughtwithGin · 05/01/2021 16:47

You need to make a timetable of who has to be online (or whatever) and when.
Do it in Excel. 1 column per person, have the first column on the left split into hours to cover the whole working/school day, so you end up with a grid. You can then see, at a glance, who is available to help with children's schooling, who has online meetings etc. etc. and plan accordingly.

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 05/01/2021 16:49

@FraughtwithGin

You need to make a timetable of who has to be online (or whatever) and when. Do it in Excel. 1 column per person, have the first column on the left split into hours to cover the whole working/school day, so you end up with a grid. You can then see, at a glance, who is available to help with children's schooling, who has online meetings etc. etc. and plan accordingly.
Thanks. I was thinking the same.

Tomorrow afternoon is going to be the hardest.
DH has a meeting at 12-1.
I am teaching 1-2.
DS due online at 1.15.
If DH meeting overruns I am in trouble.
Our house is all open plan downstairs so no privacy at all. It is a bloody nightmare!

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 05/01/2021 16:51

Sorry - I have a Y3 and Y1 (and a toddler and I WFH, albeit thankfully only 3 days a week) and I just couldn't envisage how it works.

Class zoom makes sense. I am glad it isn't the route my school is going down though. We have a daily blog from teachers (so kids can see teachers everyday) and there will be adhoc zoom calls - individual and small groups - but thankfully no zoom lessons.

It is bloody tough and I think teachers and school staff have been shafted.

As someone else mentioned, are your children not legible for keyworker places?

OhioOhioOhio · 05/01/2021 16:51

I wouldn't make an excel timetable. They are 5 and 8. They need a few orchard games and a bit of reading book material. I'm a teacher too. I'm nearly crying. All of the crazy expectations and a very limited ability to achieve everything.

hammeringinmyhead · 05/01/2021 16:58

I really think that not allowing a teacher's kids into school and expecting him or her to teach a class online is madness. Even if the other parent can cover they can't take them out for hours at a time while classes happen.

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep · 05/01/2021 16:59

I have two similar ages one diagnosed with adhd, one almost certainly also has it but too young to diagnose. I am studying for a postgrad qualification and self employed and a lone parent. Eldest will do the 121 maths zoom set up for him but other than that I refuse to try and get them to do the set work. I am at breaking point. This has been the most horrific two years and I am all out of resilience now. Their dad sort of tries. But he really doesn't understand how it is when they're not the full focus of your attention because when he has then that's the only thing he has to do so he thinks I'm making a big fuss over nothing. He also only has them for short, defined periods of time so he can get everything else in order before and after.

Sorry. That turned into a random waffly derail. Bust basically no. Yanbu. Cope however you need to. You're not alone.

anon444877 · 05/01/2021 17:02

I don't beat myself up about missing slots, and the school didn't worry too much - your mental health is more important.

If it was possible to get much done with kids at home why would we ever pay for childcare? It's not, it's a terrible option so what @OhioOhioOhio said - if they've not spent the entire day on screens for several days running it's a win.

TenShortStories · 05/01/2021 17:06

The DS who has to log on at 1.15, is he the 8 year old? Can you show him how to log on and then have him sit with a book by the computer ready to log himself on at the right time? Maybe even set a time for him as you leave to start your lesson. If it doesn't work then he carries on with him book and never mind (pre-warn the teacher though).

jessstan1 · 05/01/2021 17:06

If you can't do it, you can't do it. Don't fret, your children won't be the only ones. They are 8 and 5 so not near 11+ yet. Just let it go and do what you can do easily, leave the rest. You can't blame the schools for trying, in fact they are to be commended but they know jolly well there will be a lot of non-compliance.

anon444877 · 05/01/2021 17:06

@Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep hahahaha can so relate to that.

Remember this time the vaccine is rolling out, most of the educational hit has been taken so another half a term is small fry.

I tried to aim for an hour or two quality reading for the dc that's free reading age. And not drinking gin every day - small goals.

TenShortStories · 05/01/2021 17:07

*set a timeR

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 05/01/2021 17:28

Thanks Everyone. I appreciate the support.
I was going to go down the route of games etc and in fact today I have as I can fit that around my work.
I will see how tomorrow goes as I have no teaching scheduled just planning. See what they actually do on those calls and how long they last.
If it is too much to handle I will be contacting the teacher and telling her I will try my best -but he probably won't get to every meeting.

OP posts:
edwinbear · 05/01/2021 18:12

If your DH has a meeting 12-1, he needs to say at the start, "just to let you know, I need to finish on time to get DC set up for a 1.15 lesson".

This happened on virtually every call I was on during lockdown 1 - I had clients say it, my CEO say it, I said it, nobody batted an eyelid. We're all in the same boat and completely understand.

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 05/01/2021 18:34

@edwinbear

If your DH has a meeting 12-1, he needs to say at the start, "just to let you know, I need to finish on time to get DC set up for a 1.15 lesson".

This happened on virtually every call I was on during lockdown 1 - I had clients say it, my CEO say it, I said it, nobody batted an eyelid. We're all in the same boat and completely understand.

Definitley going to tell him to do that thanks.
OP posts:
Blacktothepink · 05/01/2021 18:37

That’s bad, my gs can still attend and one parent is keyworker.

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