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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop taking in parcels for next door

36 replies

heydoggee · 05/01/2021 10:33

We've always taken in loads of parcels for one of our next door neighbours, at least two a week. DH works from home and I am home most of the time, so it was mildly annoying but not a huge issue.

But the last two months we have been taking in a parcel every single day. Topshop. Boohoo. New Look.

I'm not crazy about doing this right now. Especially because they're clearly not essential items and I am not happy about the extra contact involved in handling them, as I am moderately vulnerable.

AIBU to say no to the postie/couriers? Am I awful for even considering this?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 05/01/2021 10:34

No, not awful at all. I would do the same. Smile Does your neighbour thank you profusely for your services when they come to collect?

HikeForward · 05/01/2021 10:36

Not unreasonable at all especially with lockdown!

Original poster
heydoggee · 05/01/2021 10:36

@Butchyrestingface

No, not awful at all. I would do the same. Smile Does your neighbour thank you profusely for your services when they come to collect?
They say thank you, but not profusely, and I wouldn't really expect them to thank me profusely. I would just rather not be their personal post office depot.
OP posts:
Skyliner001 · 05/01/2021 10:36

Just don't answer

TheFlis12345 · 05/01/2021 10:41

We live in a block of 5 flats. One CF family are home all day but have removed their doorbell. The rest of us now refuse to take in deliveries for them, local drivers quickly learned not to bother asking us.

Mrsjayy · 05/01/2021 10:41

Just don't answer the door I'm assuming they are out at work? It might calm down now Christmas is over. If you don't want to take them then of course you are not obligated to,. Your neighbours will be inconvenienced and probably tut, that really isn't your problem though.

Mrsjayy · 05/01/2021 10:44

We had a delivery driver not even bother knocking on a neighbours door I caught him one day just wandering up to my door🙄

kwiksavenofrillsusername · 05/01/2021 10:46

I've worked from home for years and stopped taking in parcels ages ago. It's a massive disruption and interrupts your flow at work. The local drivers soon learn not to ask. One of my CF neighbours had a massive rug delivered, which I took in for them, and it turned out they'd gone on holiday! So I had the bloody thing propped up in my tiny hallway for a week, taunting me for being such a pushover, and I vowed never to bother again.

They're probably getting a lot of stuff in the January sales right now but I'm sure it'll calm down soon.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/01/2021 10:50

Put a note on your door...

"Deliveries - if it is not addressed to us we will not be accepting it. Please do not ask"

Our Hermes woman said she takes pictures of the notes to satisfy her bosses that she has tried to deliver whataver, wherever. They then use it for the retailer whose customer will doubtless then complain they haven't had their parcel!

shitinmyhandsandclap · 05/01/2021 10:56

They knock and leave them on the doorstep here, sometimes we're in, sometimes we're not - 4 parcels either weren't delivered or were stolen from the doorstep in December :-(

LindaEllen · 05/01/2021 10:56

It annoys me so much too. Because I'm always at home (I've always WFH) the postman and delivery people know I'm in as they can see the car on the drive. So they always choose my door to knock at, even if they're quite a few houses down the street. They'll pretty much save up the parcels and then knock at mine on the way past.

I have a job which means I have stupid hours and work very late at night/early hours of the morning. So it's not unusual for me to be only just getting up now (I'm having my breakfast currently!) or even later to allow me my full 8 hours. Yet sometimes, by midday, I've had to come downstairs and answer the door 6 times (that's an extreme, but did happen one day just before Christmas) for other people's parcels.

I don't know what to say though! If I say no, I've still had to come downstairs, and they'll still try the next day.

LindaEllen · 05/01/2021 10:58

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Put a note on your door...

"Deliveries - if it is not addressed to us we will not be accepting it. Please do not ask"

Our Hermes woman said she takes pictures of the notes to satisfy her bosses that she has tried to deliver whataver, wherever. They then use it for the retailer whose customer will doubtless then complain they haven't had their parcel!

Why would she take a photo of your note to prove attempted delivery? I assume there is another neighbour she could try? Some people really don't mind taking things in. My grandparents love it, as it means they can chat to a) the delivery people and b) their neighbours when they come to collect the parcel later in the day.
Mrgrinch · 05/01/2021 10:58

This question comes up a lot on here and everyone is within their rights to refuse, especially in the current circumstances.

Valkadin · 05/01/2021 11:02

If it’s for the same neighbour constantly have they added a deliver to number x if not in or put a note on their door saying to drop at your house?

I have taken the occasional parcel but it’s maybe half a dozen a year. In the current circumstances I would not accept.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/01/2021 11:03

Why would she take a photo of your note to prove attempted delivery? In my case? Because one set of neighbours have left "If not in deliver to neighbours" instructions with all of their online purchases - and they are never in!

Other neighbours stopped taking in parcels months ago.

I understand that some people don't mind or like the interaction with delivery drivers. But that doesn't mean I have to.

And, lastly, because that's what the delivery driver asked me for. I don't want to make her job worse for her so was happy to oblige!

MrsDThomas · 05/01/2021 11:24

If they were friends as well as neighbours then I would. But just neighbours, a big fat no, id stop.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 05/01/2021 11:34

Open them, every time. Then just say you thought it might be something you had ordered.

Your neighbours will probably soon ask the suppliers / delivery people NOT to leave it with you.

Original poster
heydoggee · 05/01/2021 11:47

@MrsDThomas

If they were friends as well as neighbours then I would. But just neighbours, a big fat no, id stop.
Not friends. She's not particularly friendly. I am a bit of an introvert but I always try to say hello etc. She doesn't.
OP posts:
MrsDThomas · 05/01/2021 12:02

Well i think its time you stoped being too nice @heydoggee.

TheGreatWave · 05/01/2021 12:14

Your choice not to, if you don't want to, don't.

I do it, our neighbours get lots. They however put up living next to us with autistic sweary boy so we kind of want to keep them sweet. Grin

Original poster
heydoggee · 05/01/2021 12:15

@TheGreatWave

Your choice not to, if you don't want to, don't.

I do it, our neighbours get lots. They however put up living next to us with autistic sweary boy so we kind of want to keep them sweet. Grin

Ha! I have one of those too, but luckily they're detached from our house.
OP posts:
Original poster
heydoggee · 05/01/2021 12:15

(the neighbour not the child)

OP posts:
81Byerley · 05/01/2021 12:52

I take in parcels for several neighbours, and am happy to do it for them. It means that if ever I need help I feel I could ask them. Christmas Eve one of them came round with flowers and wine to thank me. Not necessary but very welcome. They said they didn't want me to think they took it for granted that I would do it for them. @heydoggee, I think that's the problem, you feel taken for granted.

Original poster
heydoggee · 05/01/2021 14:20

@81Byerley

I take in parcels for several neighbours, and am happy to do it for them. It means that if ever I need help I feel I could ask them. Christmas Eve one of them came round with flowers and wine to thank me. Not necessary but very welcome. They said they didn't want me to think they took it for granted that I would do it for them. *@heydoggee*, I think that's the problem, you feel taken for granted.
No that's not it at all. I want to reduce contact because there's a pandemic.
OP posts:
ekidmxcl · 05/01/2021 14:23

Totally unreasonable of neighbour to have so many parcels delivered knowing s/he won’t be home and that they’ll come to you.

Put a note on your door saying:

“Please only deliver parcels addressed to this property, thanks”

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