Sending DD to nursery now?

[OrangeWheel]

I'm really not sure what's best, so and hoping to just get some opinions.

I am currently on maternity leave with a newborn so do not have to send my DD2.2 to nursery as I am home. Given the current rates of Covid, is it terrible to keep sending her when we don't need to?

The reasons to keep her going are:
*She enjoys I and has friends there, it's really her only chance to be with other children at the moment.
*I'm worried about being able to occupy her (and me coping) in the depths of winter, with a young baby to also take care of and everything being in lockdown. E.g. Not even being able to take her to a friend's for the odd play date when the weather is bad, etc.

• She will need to go to nursery when I go back to work later this year. Part of me would like to keep things constant for her - I.e. not take her out and then have to resettle her. It would also cause us huge problems if the nursery went out of business everyone has pulled their children out.

She currently goes 2 full days per week.

YABU - for goodness sake don't send her there's a pandemic going on.
YANBU - on balance I would still send her in the circumstances.

@Missingyoupapum I apologise if my message came across in a negative way. I believe that if you have the choice then nursery is not the best place for children to be at this time.

I’m a parent also currently paying for a service I am not receiving and I am happy to continue to do so if it keeps my child (and our family) safe aswell as limiting the risk to my staff team.

It wouldn’t be my decision as the nursery manager to close the nursery, as I don’t own it.

I'm sending in my DD who is 2, I'm a sahm. I want her to continue receiving education and opportunities for social interaction with other children (she's an only). Nobody in our household is vulnerable.

Keep your child at home. You are creating unnecessary risk. Nurseries are no safer than schools. Protect your child, family and the nursery staff.

Although nurseries havent been closed i think the idea is that you dont send if you dont have to.
Our local nurseries have asked parents to let then know plans, said they will remain open but that if you can stay at home it will help the lockdown efforts. They need to know numbers for staffing correctly.
If the staff have children in school, these children will need key worker places in the schools so ant reduction in staffing in nursery reduces the numbers in schools, which reduces the risks further

With the numbers as they are, and for the consideration of the staff, I'd keep her home if you possible can for at least a few weeks.

As I said, I feel really conflicted over this and do feel a lot of sympathy for nursery staff, but - and this is a genuine question - are there any other services where people are told that the morally correct thing to do is to pay hundreds of pounds a month but not use them out of altruism?

@ShinyGreenElephant interesting to read your post as I think we're in exactly the same situation (due around same time). The timing is so tricky - if I take DS out 'for a few weeks' either from now (which wouldn't please my employer!) or from when I start mat leave then inevitably that means either sending him back around the time that the new baby arrives or keeping him off much longer.

I’m in exactly the same position and actually had a convo with nursery today about it. As they have said that they are staying open to key worker children and are looking to plan for everyone else as due to shielding etc they may not be able to staff appropriately to have all kids in. On one hand I feel bad that I don’t need to send DD for her two days but on the other hand she loves nursery and it’s the list socialisation/activity that’s she is going to get for at least then next 6 weeks and selfishly l I need those two day to rest/deal with a newborn when DC2 arrives in the next 2 weeks! I just find in slightly frustrating that I’ve been made to feel guilty by nursery staff about sending DD in when she could stay at home, and have to justify all my reasons for doing it every time we get an email or call.

I had a 2.5mobth old and 2yr old at the first lockdown. Husband is a keyworker but my childminder closed entirely so there was no option to send my eldest. If you can I would send them. I struggled so much as the baby got much more demanding from 3/4m ish and developed PND.
He still doesn't sleep well at all at 12m, and I am likely to be doing at least a few hours online teaching. I'm sending them both for one day if I can, just waiting to hear that there is space, as nursery is only taking key workers children. They are FAR more at risk from my deteriorating mental health if I have to parent 2 young kids alone for long periods of time (due to husbands shift oattern) in lockdown.

Both DH and I work from home and have a primary aged child and 3 year old. We're keeping the 3 year old home from nursery this week as we've got to work around home schooling anyway, and will reassess depending on the numbers and how we feel in a week or two. Our son is very upset as he loves nursery, but I'm hoping it'll be over more quickly if we do a very hard lockdown for a couple of weeks as we're in an area with quite low numbers. I would just wait a week or two to see how things go as it's not essential this week.

I have an almost 3 yo and I'm on mat leave with an 8 mo. DC1 will still be going into nursery 3 days a week - they have documented difficulties with social interaction and have just started to make real progress there in the last month or so. I don't want to risk undoing that.

You don't need to justify your decision. Nurseries are open, so send your child if you qant to.

If you withdraw your child, they'll just fill the space with a child from the waiting list

I’m a nursery manager and I wouldn’t be sending my child in if I was in the ops shoes
I’m only here because I can’t afford financially not to be here

I don’t understand this ( not you OP) three/four weeks ago the situation was pretty similar and no one was saying everything needs to shut so why now? Why is nursery more dangerous now than three/four weeks ago?

Op, do what is best for you not what a bunch of strangers tell you, you’ll know by how you feel when you decide if that makes sense?!

I am in a similar situation, nearly 2 year old at home, currently on mat leave and due March. Debating whether to send dc in to nursery... would only be 1 or 2 days a week for morning only but just not sure what to do. Have paid for the month so don’t really want to lose money but also is it worth the risk? I was hoping the decision would be taken out my hands but not yet!! DH happy to send DC in but I keep changing between wanting to take them in or thinking it’s safer to stay at home. I was working in a school so appreciate both sides of the argument with wanting to keep staff safe and also keep some sort of normality. I am also worried about how DC will be going back to nursery after a long while, especially with a newborn baby coming along... don’t want DC feeling replaced!! It doesn’t feel like it’s ‘essential’ to take them in so feels a bit like I shouldn’t but at the same time without being able to go for visits out and about or seeing any relatives then I feel like DC will need more... no help at all I know but struggling to make a decision

Is everyone still paying full nursery fees if they aren't sending their children in?

I'm sending my 3 year old

Similar situation here...

I am due back at work from mat leave in five weeks. Oldest is 4 and baby just turned one who should be having settling in sessions this week...

I've kept them both off while I decide what to do. Fees paid in full.

I know the risk to them and me is low but I have anxiety and just feel safer this way. Hoping in a few weeks things will be better but bracing myself to have to send them in eventually.

@twinklespells yes we are

@twinklespells we’ve been told that if we choose not to send then we have to still pay as the service is available, presumably if they can’t accommodate my DD because of staffing etc I won’t have to pay but not had confirmation of that

@twinklespells weve been asked to pay a 50% retainer if not sending them in

2 year olds don't really interact at all with other kids at nursery. They're not going to be bothered if they don't go in.

I am wondering who will be looking after your 2 yr old & baby when your child catches covid at nursery and brings it home? Boris has been saying schools are safe. All along teachers have been saying they are not. Preschools/nurseries are not safe either, young children are more likely to be asymptotic so are not necessarily feeling ill themselves but are spreading it to their families. Where I work & where many friends work, the parents are all refusing to get their young child tested even when they have covid themselves. This is screwing up the real numbers. If you are happy for your whole family to catch covid, then happily send your 2 yr old to nursery.

I pray that the government do a U turn and close the nursery’s, we are in a lockdown...