To ask how to end this toxic dynamic?

[kickneeded]

Dated a man for a year but left him because he became extremely unemotionally available.

Became close friends after (it's been about 6 months now) and realised I still had feelings for him. Have been very open with him but he's said he doesn't want to try again.

We are very flirty and occasionally physical but tend to mostly just spend time as friends.

There's no doubt there's a ton of love and attraction on both sides, but he really doesn't want a relationship (some deep rooted issues there on his side).

I need to put a stop to it (our friendship) and no bloody thing anyone tells is working. I know I'm going to get hurt and I'm letting it happen. I don't want to lose such a treasured friend and, of course, am always holding out hope that I can change his mind one day.

I am putting it out there to see if anyone can say anything to move me forward. It's utterly embarrassing that I can't just end our friendship, with the knowledge that if I stick around, I'm bound to get hurt.

The thought of telling him today that I can't be his friend and waking up tomorrow knowing he's no longer in my life, makes me nauseous.

I don't want this to sound hurtful and I apologise in advance if it does. He doesn't love you, the ton of love is not from both sides, this is a projection on your part. I would back off for your own sake and stop having any physical encounters as a first step. He is not going to give you the relationship you want.

The thought of telling him today that I can't be his friend and waking up tomorrow knowing he's no longer in my life, makes me nauseous.

This happened to me, albeit we didn't have feelings for each other anymore, but after 8 years in a relationship we were really good friends. Both my new BF and his new GF didn't like that we were mates still, and the idea of giving up my best friend for the sake of somebody else's feelings was a hard pill to swallow.

However, it's been a while now, and tbh, it's just fine. We speak occasionally, but we're both fine with that.

It gets easier, don't worry. Sounds like this fella is under your skin and you would be happier being free from him. Good luck!

Do you really need to make an announcement?
Just back away and be busy. Don't reply straight away to texts and don't be available to meet? Lockdown now anyway.
If the thought of having a conversation is upsetting you don't have it. Just back off.
Hope you are ok

He is using you.
You can choose to be used or not. Simple.

If you’re that deeply invested in someone you’ve known for such a short time then you’re already in too deep.

The world will not end if you cut this man out of your life. You’ll get up tomorrow and carry on as you always do, all be it a bit more sadly for a while.

If you continue seeing him you are only putting off the sadness for another day, when you’re more invested.

Rip off the plaster OP. He doesn’t want to be in a proper relationship with you but he’ll happy keep you stringing along for the company and the occasional shag. You are worth better than being treated like that.