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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DH to stop cycling?

63 replies

Rens16 · 04/01/2021 18:11

To ask DH to stop cycling for a few months while we TTC?

We are both 31 and have been TTC since our 1st child since April, none of us has any children with anyone else. Im currently on cycle 11 with absolutely no sign of a BFP. My cycles are very regular albeit on the shorter side but definetly not concerning.

DH back story- his MIL passed away Dec 2019, he was grieving and starting to spiral, I was worried he was going to go into depression when 1st lockdown came in March. In May he decided to take up cycling as a hobby and within a month you could tell a huge difference in him, his mood improved and was starting to be like his normal self again. He has really committed to this hobby and cycles easily 40/50 miles a week... his health mentally and physically are both on top form now. This is amazing and all I could want for him, it has been a really good way for him to cope with his grief.
Over the last few months he has really ramped up the fitness he's competing for top times on strava and setting himself loads of targets so he's now cycling more than ever.

After reading many articles I am now starting to get concerned that this hobby of his could be the reason as to why we haven't conceived yet? I really don't want to have to ask him to stop doing something he loves so much.

I would just like to know if anyone else has managed to conceive with a husband who cycles A LOT. And just for some general advice opinions.

Thanks xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Rens16 · 04/01/2021 18:39

@sendmehome and @CUSTARDBEAR yes I've been tracking using opks since June last year, not temping but considering this next.

We are both healthy weight non smokers and eat a well balanced diet etc, he barely drinks alcohol at all and neither of us drink tea/coffee

Been to GP and they said just need to wait a few more months before they can start doing any tests etc

OP posts:
FolkyFoxFace · 04/01/2021 18:40

As others have said, it doesn't sound like this is the issue.

On another note - I miscarried in December 2019 (after TTC for one month) and despite being physically absolutely fine, go ahead from all doctors, etc. it still took me until June 2020 to conceive. It felt like absolutely forever and I was getting desperate - but sometimes there's no rhyme or reason why it's taking so long. And that wasn't even that long! Up to a year and sometimes even a bit longer can be normal, so don't worry. I know it's a horrible place to be in, but just take each day as it comes.

Vickles20 · 04/01/2021 18:43

My DH has cycled during our entire relationship. We have 4 children. I would never have asked him to stop as it’s his only outlet away from us and work.

ChikiTIKI · 04/01/2021 18:44

Hmm I'm not sure. Might be worth a try.

We conceived DD1 in first month of trying, when husband worked from home.

DD2 took a year of trying, husband was cycling 12 miles a day and walking 12 miles a day, 6 days a week (postie).

It dawned on me the other day that cycling might have been the reason. Along with other things (I think I just can't get pregnant when breastfeeding for for about a year afterwards tbh).

What if he stopped for a month and you made sure to dtd at least 4 times a week in that time? You could go for walks or jogging together instead?

Nichola2310 · 04/01/2021 18:53

I'm at cycle 15 ish without a BFP so I understand.

If you can afford it could he get a semen analysis? It might stop you worrying about his side of things.

SameToo · 04/01/2021 18:55

My DH started cycling at 15ish and would do what your husband does in a week at least twice a week. He’s also had a turbo trainer set up for indoor training and cycled too and from work every day. We conceived when he was 31 with no issues.

annevonkleve · 04/01/2021 19:00

Even if he was running 50 miles a week I don't think it would have an impact. Definitely not cycling, that's like running 10 miles a week which is nothing, really.

polkadotpenguin · 04/01/2021 19:01

I wouldn't be asking him to give anything up until you've had a semen analysis done. We got one done privately and it was worth it as it showed a slight issue, then a few months later showed it was improving!

Meowmeow20202 · 04/01/2021 19:04

My dh cycles pretty much everywhere has hes got me pregnant 7 times

INeedNewShoes · 04/01/2021 19:07

40–50 miles a week of cycling is a tiny amount and I'm pretty sure it's not at a level that they are talking about when they link cycling and fertility issues.

Sorry that it hasn't been straightforward. I think there are other avenues to pursue (maybe pay for fertility testing if you have the means to) that would be useful.

Littleposh · 04/01/2021 19:07

The majority of professional cyclists have children and they ride over 100km everyday

flattyres · 04/01/2021 19:11

ex was cycle mad. no issue conceiving. A lot of the top cyclists are dad too.

If cycling does him such a world of good, I would not even think about asking him to stop.

sometimes it takes time to conceive and if there are issues, it is in all likelihood not down to cycling. seeing your GP for further investigations should be the next step. not asking him to stop riding the bike.

flattyres · 04/01/2021 19:13

and the mileage is does is miniscule. unless he ramped up the 40-50 miles to a few hundred miles a week. Ex did easily 40-50 on the commute and 200 on weekends in top.

DuchessofDerbyshire · 04/01/2021 19:18

@Rens16 I can recommend a great book- Fit for Fertility - by a renowned UK fertility specialist which includes all the things both men and women can do to help natural conception. Worth reading.

Original poster
Rens16 · 04/01/2021 19:25

@notalwaysalondoner @nichola2310

We enquired at our local private fertility clinic and they all tried to convince us to go to GP so I did. They said to leave it a few more months and they can refer us which isn't that much longer to wait so we are just going wait it out. They will refer him for semen analysis then

@folkyfoxface so sorry to hear about your MC, thanks for the advice xx

@chikitiki thanks for your input. Its interesting to hear this from another point of view. We already walk together miles a week as we have a dog we are very outdoorsy people.

I think I'm going to just leave it for now I havent even mentioned it to him at all and don't want him to feel any doubt or guilty for doing something he loves.

You're all lovely thanks this has made me feel so much better. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Rens16 · 04/01/2021 19:27

@duchessofderbyshire thanks! I love a good book I will have a look at this

OP posts:
Unescorted · 04/01/2021 19:29

There are a lot of professional cyclists with children.

thedancingbear · 04/01/2021 19:34

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lance_Armstrong#Relationships_and_children

Probably the most (in)famous cyclist in history has five kids...

thedancingbear · 04/01/2021 19:35

Also 40-50 miles of cycling a week is bugger all. Serious club runners routinely cover that kind of distance.

JurassicParkAha · 04/01/2021 19:40

I'm a member of a cycling club where the men cycle a lot more than your DH, and have been doing it for a lot longer. Most of them have children.... 40-50 miles is nothing. I have a 10 mile commute to and from work, that I used to do 5 days a week (pre covid) for 5 years and I'm not a serious cyclist at all.

Hobbies are a saviour for many people, and cycling in particular has saved many people's mental health during lockdown. Please don't stop him doing it unless you actually have a fertility specialist tell you this is an issue. I would be livid if a partner of mine stopped me doing my hobby for junk science!

If it's eating into childcare time, or him doing chores, then yes, have the chat. Otherwise, there's no evidence moderate cycling affects sperm count to such a extent.

Cheeseandwin5 · 04/01/2021 19:42

I echo what others have said and think that YABU to ask him to stop.
I think maybe as well as other suggestions you may want an outlet or hobby for yourself.

theonlykaren · 04/01/2021 19:44

Just pop his tyres and tell him only thing he can ride is you

sproutburger · 04/01/2021 19:45

lol 40-50 miles is nothing sorry, I'd do that by lunchtime on a weekend ride! Back in the day when I did bike touring I did 300 miles per week for weeks on end. Gives you a fabulous bum Grin

violetbunny · 04/01/2021 19:48

I'd be less concerned about conception, and more concerned about whether he expects to continue spending hours at a time on his hobby once you have a young family....

thedancingbear · 04/01/2021 19:57

I'd be less concerned about conception, and more concerned about whether he expects to continue spending hours at a time on his hobby once you have a young family....

What rot. 40-50 miles a week is 2-3 hours riding, which is roughly how much moderate exercise the NHS recommends each week: www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/