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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour with Covid popped over yesterday

88 replies

Whatisthis543 · 03/01/2021 20:01

I genuinely don’t know if IABU here so could use some advice. My next door neighbour but one (lives alone) has tested positive for COVID. When he is walking his dog he sometimes knocks for a chat and as he’s old and possibly lonely we usually ask him to distance and chat to him at a ‘safe distance’ from the doorstep.

He knocked on the door yesterday when he was out for a walk, and stepped back 2 meters outdoors before chatting to me and DP. He noted after chatting for about 10 minutes that he has taken a COVID test as has had a bit of a sore throat. Turns out the test was positive (he found out today). I’m now driving myself mad thinking he’s probably passed it to us (but maybe he hasn’t as 2m away and outside). AIBU?

OP posts:
LazyName · 03/01/2021 22:26

Sorry but yabu.
I get anxious re covid and I do understand the panic but you shouldn’t be much at risk, not sure what advice I can give to help other than a sarky comment but I do know mumsnet is definitely the place to ask questions if you want to increase your anxiety about covid!
It makes me much more worried - and I’ve already had it!

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 03/01/2021 22:29

@SnackSizeRaisin

But sore throat on its own isn't supposedly a sign of covid... It's unreasonable to expect people to isolate if they have any random symptom, and in fact government guidance is specifically to carry on as normal unless you have a cough, fever or loss of taste or smell.
And that’s exactly why we are in the mess we are in now.
Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:32

Op you do not need to isolate.

TwuckityTwuckers · 03/01/2021 22:33

We will isolate now of course,

Followed by

yes and we have offered to drop him supplies to his doorstep so he will be ok on that front

This isn't how isolation works I'm afraid, and is just putting yourself and others at increased risk.

Thegifthorse · 03/01/2021 22:34

I was out for a walk with the kids and a car pulled over and wound the window down to ask where the "testing centre" was. I hadn't realised they'd put a testing centre round that area, so apologetically said "I'm really sorry, I'm not sure", and so they drove on. Afterwards I realised that people on their way for a covid test probably shouldn't be shouting out to passersby! I'm hoping it was more windy in reality than I remember it being at the time... Grin

BlackBucketOfCheese · 03/01/2021 22:34

Goodness me, what a selfish man.

Can you telephone him? I wouldn’t drop anything to him now that you’re isolating but I would offer to connect him with the council or local mutual aid group.
I’m afraid that is the last thing I would ever do for him though.

dottypees · 03/01/2021 22:35

They don't need to isolate after chatting outdoors from two metres away 🙄

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:36

For clarity -

Someone I know had close contact with someone who tested positive in our work.

Only they had to isolate. Not their partner or kids.

I don't actually think in your scenario you need to isolate but PPs saying you can't drop supplies are being dramatic.

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:37

@Thegifthorse

I was out for a walk with the kids and a car pulled over and wound the window down to ask where the "testing centre" was. I hadn't realised they'd put a testing centre round that area, so apologetically said "I'm really sorry, I'm not sure", and so they drove on. Afterwards I realised that people on their way for a covid test probably shouldn't be shouting out to passersby! I'm hoping it was more windy in reality than I remember it being at the time... Grin
Oh come on .
jessstan1 · 03/01/2021 22:37

Was he not wearing a mask? No doubt he thought you'd be safe if you kept your distance and I expect you are. Presumably you go out to shops and the like where people do not always keep the requisite distance, plus you touch things that others have touched. so are at risk anyway. No point worrying about what might not be.

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:37

@dottypees

They don't need to isolate after chatting outdoors from two metres away 🙄
Quite.
pumpkiiinpiiie · 03/01/2021 22:45

You really don't need to isolate after talking outdoors from at least a 2m distance.

2020out · 03/01/2021 22:51

@Almostslimjim

I think people confuse the "get a test" poster as being the only reason you can request a test, which isn't true. Sore throat is a COVID symptom, and you can get a test because of it.

You should be fine, your neighbor should not be walking his dog though!

Technically you don't need to isolate, but if current isolation criteria worked we wouldn't be in this shit storm.

Nope, it's just that the UK doesn't recognise the full list of symptoms. You can't book a test with a sore throat unless you lie. What a wonderful country Blush.

OP, it is unlikely he's passed it on to you given the distance. But it can't hurt to be cautious. Hope you're all OK.

RainMoon · 03/01/2021 22:52

@Lovemusic33

Sorry if I’m thick but why would you isolate if he was stood outdoors over 2m away from you? It’s very unlikely he would have passed it onto you outside and from that distance unless he was coughing near you?

I wouldn’t be isolating but I would be checking in on him (via phone or through the window) incase he needs anything.

Yes, he shouldn’t have been out whilst waiting for a covid test or after testing positive.

2m isn’t magic, it spreads less easily outside but one person can aerosolise a room. 2 m and 15mins was picked as an arbitrary amount to have the most people comply and easier for track and trace. Just 30secs sharing a car is enough etc.

He would have been told to not leave his house after having a test.
He is selfish and you are right to worry.

Goldieloxx · 03/01/2021 22:55

If he was outside and 2m away and it was a short chat, it's highly unlikely you would have caught it. Just get a test and stay in while you await the results, it is only usually 2 days

Blueeyesparkle · 03/01/2021 22:55

BlackBucketOfCheese

Goodness me, what a selfish man.

He’s an old man, lonely and prob not thinking straight. I feel quite sorry for him.

Blueeyesparkle · 03/01/2021 22:57

But he would have been told not to leave home.

Almostslimjim · 03/01/2021 22:57

2020out yes, you can! I've booked several tests and never once been asked for my symptoms. If you call rather than doing the online form you get one.

Portosantamaria · 03/01/2021 22:57

@SnackSizeRaisin

But sore throat on its own isn't supposedly a sign of covid... It's unreasonable to expect people to isolate if they have any random symptom, and in fact government guidance is specifically to carry on as normal unless you have a cough, fever or loss of taste or smell.
The advice if you are awaiting the results of a Covid test is to isolate (and for everyone in your household to isolate) until the results are back.
Thegifthorse · 03/01/2021 22:58

@Wheresmykimchi

Sigh.

I shall make it more obvious. I am not actually concerned by my interaction with the people on their way for a test. I was illustrating that there are always going to be interactions between people that may or may not be positive, and who may not be being as careful as we'd like. We cannot worry over every little conversation. Probably I'd not shout out to people if I thought I might have covid. I'm not actually worried I've caught it from them. OP can't control her neighbour, but shouldn't be overly worried by her interaction with him. They were as safe as could be, given the info they now know about him being positive.

Please for the love of God lighten up! I think we're on the same team, not being overly stressed by unavoidable daily interactions? So stop being a pillock on the internet!

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 23:10

[quote Thegifthorse]@Wheresmykimchi

Sigh.

I shall make it more obvious. I am not actually concerned by my interaction with the people on their way for a test. I was illustrating that there are always going to be interactions between people that may or may not be positive, and who may not be being as careful as we'd like. We cannot worry over every little conversation. Probably I'd not shout out to people if I thought I might have covid. I'm not actually worried I've caught it from them. OP can't control her neighbour, but shouldn't be overly worried by her interaction with him. They were as safe as could be, given the info they now know about him being positive.

Please for the love of God lighten up! I think we're on the same team, not being overly stressed by unavoidable daily interactions? So stop being a pillock on the internet![/quote]
Sorry I laughed out loud at pillock on the internet Grin

You're right .

Littleposh · 03/01/2021 23:15

@RainMoon there was neither a room nor a car, do you overreact about everything in this same way??

chocafrolic · 03/01/2021 23:23

Get a grip. I had Covid and only my dd has caught it. Dh & ds, despite cuddles, bathroom sharing, me cooking meals etc did not get it. Standing on a doorstep 2m apart makes your risk very low. He shouldn’t be out of his house though.

VivaMiltonKeynes · 03/01/2021 23:26

@JamesAnderson

You only have to isolate while waiting for test results if you have one of the three symptoms listed on the government website.

If all he had was a sore throat he needn't have taken a test at all. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Yet he was positive ...
Peakypolly · 03/01/2021 23:26

That person was over 65 so would have been eligible to be vaccinated

Only age 80 and above at present.