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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

The back to work dread - Covid edition

77 replies

Maria444 · 03/01/2021 15:35

Serious back to work gloom today. First time in about 10 years I’ve taken the two Christmas weeks off and it feels like it’s been forever.

I know it’s normal to dread going back to work but I feel like it’s all the more heightened at the moment as I’m just going back to sitting in my study, with no contact other than Zoom and texts with colleagues, but all the stress and deadlines that I’d have in the office.

Very lucky I know to have a secure WFH job but I haven’t seen any colleagues in person since March and going into 2021 with no real end in sight (despite all the vaccine promises!) just fills me with dread.

I never thought I’d say this but this point I’d actually like to be getting up, making myself look nice and dashing to a meeting with coffee in hand, making lunch plans with a colleague and using my commute for some down time. I still make myself look nice just for me, but it often feels pointless.

Any on else have the back to work dread more acutely than normal?

OP posts:

fufulina · 03/01/2021 17:20

I feel exactly the same, OP. Absolutely dreading it. I started a new job in April, so this has been my normal in this job. It’s been intense. If I’d known it was going o. For this long I would have been far better with boundaries. 😞

Attictroll · 03/01/2021 17:21

I feel more stressed than if I hadn't taken time off..day 1 of school holiday dealing with tier 4 and cancelled Xmas plans - which left some GP on their own at Christmas. Tears when telling DC of change of plans although we were only having a "little gathering". Worked a few days of Christmas week - colleague signed off with stress due to being on her own so much triggering her depression and anxiety. Extra work for me spelling into holidays. All Christmas church services cancelled again DC Christmas festivities out the window - feel like I have had 2 weeks locked in with DC disappointing them.
Christmas was ok but had to plaster on a smile and put energy into making sure kids didn't think Christmas was crap. Relaxed for 2 days then primary closures announced for my area so have been in a state of panic and distress about DC education, mental health and wfh.
I am literally about to fall down.

PatchworkElmer · 03/01/2021 17:21

Yep, it’s grim. I also need to have a conversation about not wanting to go into the office whilst we’re still T4, and I’m quite anxious about that

CoRhona · 03/01/2021 17:24

I am back in the office tomorrow and cannot wait for a change of scene...

MrsNewtS · 03/01/2021 17:24

I would find it hard to work from home all the time so I do get where you are coming from but the plus side is that you are very safe.

I’ve worked throughout in a customer facing job. I’m lucky that we have access to full ppe but the fear of bringing COVID home to my family is always there.

I think it’s one of those feelings where the grass isn’t always greener. For the first time in my life I’ve started to wish I had a 9-5 office job where I could work from home and be safe.

Imanessexgirlgetmeoutofhere · 03/01/2021 17:29

@Wannabewriter It's a cliche but you can only do what you can do. For a long time I would start their work off with them and then send them off to play for a few hours whilst I worked. Then when I finished I would help them with what was left. Yes it stretched my day but it was all I could do, especially as my DH was still working away from home (and still is).

Be kind to yourself. It is a stressful situation

Aab1234 · 03/01/2021 17:30

My theory is that it will make time pass.

Aab1234 · 03/01/2021 17:31

One suggestion - do something to reorganise the house. Even moving things around can help (slightly)

ramblingsonthego · 03/01/2021 17:31

My new year present is redundancy in the middle of this month, I would give anything to even be working from home. Be careful!

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 03/01/2021 17:36

I'm dreading it as well. And I am a massive introvert with young kids where its actually really handy for pick ups etc to be able to work from home. I like my job. I can't figure out why I feel like this. The monotony or maybe it's just the covid shitness is magnifying every negative feeling. Or maybe I'm just a bit hungover!

garlictwist · 03/01/2021 17:36

It's the opposite for me - I'm really glad to be working from home and for the first time ever do not have the post Christmas back to work fear. I feel much more relaxed being on my own at home and not going into the office and having the stress of meeting and talking face to face.

Blowingagale · 03/01/2021 17:41

@ramblingsonthego
Sorry you are being made redundant. I do feel lucky to have a job that is currently stable. Also WFH so safe unlike key workers.

OP I’m also sad that again WFH with non of the chat, tea, occasional lunches. Those were the things that helped especially after a hard call or appointment.

I try to do half hour walk every morning to at least cover a bit of the exercise I had on commute. It has to be in the morning as too dark by 5pm.

rookiemere · 03/01/2021 17:51

I normally quite enjoy going into the office during and after the festive period. It gives a bit of normality and camaraderie with the others that are in and yes to the meeting work colleagues for coffees in January.

I do get that it's great to have a job and be safe at home, but it just feels so empty, particularly as the euphoria from the vaccine news has slipped away against the awful increasing numbers, oh and DS14 will now be home again as well and our last brush in with home learning was not a positive one.

Oh well DH has bought a rather excellent second hand treadmill so I'm going to try to take some lunch breaks and work out my frustrations rather than eating and drinking them away .

grassisjeweled · 03/01/2021 17:54

My kids are back at school on the 11th. Once they're back I'm definitely taking a couple of mental health days

WhoLettheCatOut · 03/01/2021 18:03

I only took 1 week off and back Tues but I've already checked emails and discovered a nightmare so I will need to work tomorrow. Unhelpfully school will be closed but i can just stick them in front of the switch for a couple of hours! I have the proper dread now though which hasn't happened for years.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 03/01/2021 18:28

Whilst trying to shift the torpor of the last three weeks is painful, and tomorrow morning will be really hard, I think the structure of work will be helpful once I get into it.

chilling19 · 03/01/2021 18:36

Weds for me. Am dreading it too - kitchen table teams meetings ahead. 😩

Youmeanyouvelostyourkey · 03/01/2021 18:45

I'm feeling the same. I had it in my head that tomorrow was a Bank Holiday so it feels like I have lost a day. January is always a very busy month, long hours etc. Worse still, one of my US colleagues has put in a 3 hour mtg from 4-7. Git.

AnaisNun · 03/01/2021 18:51

Yes. Am very very despondent.
Cant really say too much more without spiralling, but ... solidarity

SandrasAnnoyingFriend · 03/01/2021 19:07

Massive dread here. Exacerbated by knowing a lot of processes need to change with regards Brexit (EU shipping) and nobody has really made a plan. So tomorrow will mostly just be spent panicking and failing to do things that were previously straight forward.
Fucking joy

nosswith · 03/01/2021 19:16

Whilst I have been wfh since March, I was at work for three days last week. Always have done so that Christmas is just a few days and does not add to my waistline, and that I can have some time off in February or March.

I'd recommend not having a long period of time off over Christmas if you have the choice, and it does help avoid the feelings the OP has. I also find that having something to look forward to as a break in February or March if you can does make winter a bit less depressing.

rookiemere · 03/01/2021 19:32

@nosswith the reason I have had so much time off over Christmas is that our employers decided - mid November- that people couldn't carry forward leave. The one good thing about the project I'm on going badly wrong was they relented so I could carry some forward, but I really needed the break and had to use these days up anyway.

The huge issue for me with wfh is that there seems to be no boundaries- or perhaps I'm just not good at enforcing them - so work becomes an all encompassing thing as it's too easy just to check emails or do the odd half hour at the weekend.

Plus DH has started his end of holiday house projects. Usually it's doing a spreadsheet of our expenditure so we live off beans for January and February, but ironically lack of holidays and eating out means it's quite healthy for once. But anyway when these things happen I'm usually quite happy to trot off back to work, but obviously when work is the back bedroom then there isn't much escape.

nosswith · 03/01/2021 19:37

@rookiemere I was concerned when wfh started about boundaries. One thing that helped was the daily exercise as the means to leave the house every day. I started doing this at work finish time, and until the clocks went back and it was dark, did this and everyone came to understand and accept my work hours. (Blowing my own trumpet- being reliable helps as next day will mean it will be done next day).

Disappointing that your employer left it until November about holidays having to be taken- mine said this in June, in the context of not wanting cancellations or everyone expecting December off.

PMcGintysGoat · 03/01/2021 19:39

Really dreading it here too

I was pretty burnt out by the time I stopped, I've had a fortnight off and now I can't face going back. I'm full time WFH and will be home-schooling too, I honestly don't know if I can do this again.

I'm quite introverted and previously relied alot on the relatively low-pressure social relationships you have with people at work - you can have a chit chat at coffee time but aren't expected to go to their parties IYSWIM. I've found it hard in lockdown, work is just work now and I don't have the non-work social network or, to be frank, the energy/ability to start making one now. I never get time on my own either - DH shares the office with me, and now DC will be at home too.

Normally I'd rely in 'faking it til you make it' - being dressed up and arriving in the office with my coffee would help send the work-signals to my brain, but now I just go to another room in my house. In fact there's a bit of my house I dread being in now, which makes me feel sad. Urgh.

I can't even pretend, even if I was to get dressed smartly and make a coffee to 'take to work', the spell would be broken when I turned up at 'work' and find my DH in his jeans and slippers at the next desk, and my DC at my elbow.

userxx · 03/01/2021 19:45

Back in the office tomorrow and looking forward to it, had a week off which is really rare and I've loved it...... probably a bit too much.

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