Homeschooling NIGHTMARE

[MrsFluffyMuff]

Just been informed the kids' schools are closed for another 2 weeks (at least) so all learning will be online. Last time I struggled so much with homeschooling. I am a single parent with four children, all under 10, youngest is 1. How the fuck do other people with 4 or more kids manage it? I literally can't get one on one time with them for more than 2 minutes, it's impossible. They need someone to be able to sit for at least 30 minutes with them and go through everything. I've Got no one in my bubble to help as my parents are shielding.

AIBU for really struggling with this?

Thanks @Whenwillow, will have a look :)

I have 3 aged 9, 11 and 2. Homeschooling was the worst thing I have ever done and it ended with at least one of us in tears most days. The 11 yr old would get on with it to an extent but needed help with the (insanely difficult) IT. 9 yr old was really difficult and unsurprisingly the 2 yr old was not supportive.

This time I’m not going to do much. It’s just not worth the mental degradation. I’ll do fun stuff with them, walks, board games, writing stories, encouraging reading, baking etc but I’m not going to kill myself over the set tasks the school gives them. If your kids are 4 and 6 they wouldn’t even be in formal school yet in some countries I would take a very relaxed attitude to home schooling.

IT is super hard work homeschooling but here is what I would do in your shoes.
Invest in some orchard games like "tell the time", "match and spell" and "catch and count". All great for 4 yr old and maybe even 6 yr old.
Also buy junior scrabble - great for 6 and 10 yr old and 4 yr old can pass out letter tiles.
Sit 10 yr old down and do 30 mins work whilst youngest 2 play catch and count as that is easiest.
Swap and get eldest 2 to play scrabble as you read with the youngest and then the youngest can join in for the rest.
Finally, ask eldest to play one of the other games with youngest whilst you spend 30 mins with middle age.
an episode of horrible histories and a joe wicks. School day done!

I really wouldn't worry about the 4 year old, basic phonics worksheets where they trace the letters and let them watch phonics tv shows on Cbeebies or YouTube.
And basic numbers, orchard farm games are really good and the older ones could play with the younger ones.

It's really hard. My kids are best first thing in the morning, so I try to aim for 1-1.5hrs of whichever topics/worksheets my older kids (4,6,8) feel like doing, and my toddler will usually play quite happily with play doh or colouring or something for some of that time.

What really helps me is giving the kids a bit of a choice so they're not all wailing at once that they caaaaan't dooooo iiiiiiit, emergency colouring for the 4yo, and just accepting that anything they do is better than nothing 🤷‍♀️

Keep it simple to stay sane!

Reading.. lots of it! Independent and to each other.

Times table rock stars or similar
Interesting factual programmes from bbc bite size or similar.. horrible histories, lonely planet, etc
Write/create thank you cards for pencil skills/handwriting, perhaps new year resolutions for eldest
Get active dancing / go for a walk / spot birds/ squirrels

Above all be kind to yourselves.. have a basic structure for getting up/lunch/bed but don’t berate yourself if you don’t get too much done.

Don't worry about 1 & 4 year old too much. They are learning just by being alive.

6 year old and oldest child your priority. If your oldest is neurotypical, he or she should be able to do a fair amount of independent work. You can then do bits of formal work with the 6 year old and joint learning tasks like cooking, reading etc to both the 6 and 4 year old.

If your older two can read independently, that can be a whole lesson and give you some time to tend to the baby.

If you have a home computer or tablet website and app learning are your friends e.g. www.timestables.co.nz/speed-test/

But don't expect too much. Just getting through is great.

It's hard OP, not surprising you are struggling and don't beat yourself up about it. What worked best for me last time was to have a proper timetable like we used to all start with Joe Wicks to let steam off(sticky kids on YouTube is also fun for the younger ones), then english/ maths for the eldest while you can read with the 6yo, and the younger ones can listen or play on their own for a bit. We used to do more craft things in the afternoon, basic science experiments or baking and they had to measure the ingredients. Set up a little work space for your 10yo and let them get on with it. If school doesn't give enough work, check BBC Bitesize, National Geographic on YouTube and Oak Academy. If possible, get 1 or 2 workbooks, even the pound shop ones can keep them busy. For your 6yo, just focus on reading, and try to go a walk whenever possible to get some fresh air. See if you can organise work around the baby's naps. You will be fine and they will recover. Schools are supposed to lend chromebooks to families with several children if you need, so your two eldest could have their own to work with. It's crap but your children have a parent who cares about their education, and that's the most important thing!

Can the oldest child ‘teach’ the younger school aged ones, or occupy the pre-school child/ren while you give a small amount to the younger school ones. My school has been adamant that Yr 3 onwards should be able to work largely independently, so (in theory), the older one should need less one-to-one support to get work done. Maybe run through their work for the following day in the evening, once the smallest ones are in bed?

Ultimately, each child should only need a very small amount of time, as they learn much faster one-to-one.

Saying all of this, though, I fully appreciate this is much easier said than down, so be kind to yourself and focus on what is achieved over time and not in a day-to-day basis.

I only have two, but they both have additional needs, so any sort of independent learning is a real struggle. I can't be doing two things at once, one can't read independently, the other can, but needs help understanding instructions and what's being asked of him, and how much he needs to write etc.

I'm dreading it, you have my sympathy. We're going to do as much as we can, but I'm determined not to get anyone upset over it if we can't do everything. I like the idea of Orchard games for wee ones.

We didn’t do hardly any school work last time, dd just wouldn’t engage so we did things like baking (theirs maths in baking right?), spotting wildlife whilst out walking (science 🤔), just dance on the switch (PE) and writing a diary about lockdown (English?).

Things they can do on their own such as jigsaw puzzles, drawing, crafts, waticng something educational on tv (how is it made?) 🤣

Honestly children under ten are learning all the time, not just from school work but life skills and learning about the world around them. The most important things is that everyone is happy and your mental health doesn’t suffer. They will catch up pretty quickly when back at school.

Start first thing, don’t give anyone time to get into a lazy slump, so eat, ready, go. Prepping the night before can help (even if it’s just a list to achieve that day, having a direction can help.)

Keep them fed with snacks all day that they can manage to get for themselves so no one has a hungry meltdown and make sure they all have a water bottle within reach,

keep a routine for the day.

Tell the teacher if you can’t log every kid online every day at the same time ( if they ask for that) and ask them to help you coordinate that.

TV time and devices are a saviour as are simple occupying things for the small ones.

If you can’t get everyone out for a walk then don’t destroy yourself over it, But I used to go on our walk when the baby/toddler would be due a nap and let him sleep in the pushchair for however long he wanted to give us a major break once we got home.

Sometimes we could do education while we were walking too like practising tables etc.

Does the 1 year old still nap? If so I’d try and do some of the 10 yo’s learning then. I found it hard with just a 4yo and 1yo when our bubble burst and had to use nap time to get anything done that needed concentration. I’d probably try and get the 4yo and 6yo to do things together and bribe the 10 to to play with the baby.

Pass the pigs is a good game for practicing adding up, my 6yo loves it. She keeps score. Have a look at what you've got and where there is a learning element.

I also vote for orchard games if you can get hold of some, they’re great

Spotty dogs and, bus stop, shopping list for smaller ones, pop to the shops for everyone, with a bit of support for the younger ones :)

It's so hard.

I definitely think the ten year old can hear the 6 year old read and play board games with the 6 and 4 year olds.

Do baking and craft all together.

Put the tv on and spend half an hour with the ten year old.

Send them into the garden to play and spend 15 mins with each child.

@MrsFluffyMuff if you don’t have a printer and would like one, take a look on your local Facebook ‘Free’ groups - on ours, people regularly give them away.

This will only work if your parents are tech literate, but is there any possibility the children could go on video calls to them, and your parents could listen to them read over the call? I did this last time around, and it was great to get half an hour of work done.

Another idea to utilise the grandparents - my DD did cooking once a week with my mum, over a FaceTime call. This could be an option for your 10 year old.
Set up the laptop on the kitchen worktop, make sure that each household has the same ingredients, then get grandparent to teach a basic recipe, step by step.
DD learned how to make a bechamel sauce, then how to make lasagne from scratch, for instance.
Means that dinner is sorted, and they learn life skills.

If grandparents aren’t able to do the above, do you have any friends who are able to help out in a similar way remotely?
One of my friends was furloughed back in April, then made redundant in August. She’s single and has no DC of her own. She’s bored senseless and has watched everything there is to watch on Netflix, so has said she’s happy to help out a bit with maths over a FaceTime call, for instance.

Make sure the three school aged ones keep reading. Use your local library's app to download books each week so they get plenty of variety.
They can read to your youngest too.

1. Don’t panic about them “falling behind”; it’s been hugely overstated that this will happen, mainly (I believe) to frighten parents back to work. Teachers are skilled at replanning the curriculum overall and putting in interventions for kids who need it. I’m secondary rather than primary but already, each year group is now where they should be, as we really focussed on what we needed to do with them last term. Yes, some individuals needs a bit more work, but they always do.

1. Contact the school if you feel it would help. This time, the definition of “vulnerable” extends to those children who, for whatever reason, would struggle to work at home either due to resources or space. I know we would certainly offer yours a place though, granted, it is easier in secondary as we have so much more space/staff.

1. There has already been lots of great advice on what to focus on: reading, writing, maths or anything that sparks curiosity

I have a 5yo and 1yo and the latter made it very hard. I'd suggest get a room.divider or play pen that will contain the 1yo. Set up with messy play or a load of activities early on.

Try to have some activities that can be done outside if possible.so you can combine pram walk with it.

@picklemewalnuts

Remember the 4yr old wouldn't be doing formal learning in many countries. Don't get obsessed with completing set tasks, just spend the days in worthwhile ways- cooking, looking at plants/puddles/nature, sorting things and talking about size.

At 4, a lot of schooling is about language- maths language, science language. Sorting the clothes by size, looking at the labels, putting them 'on/in/behind/under/next to' the table etc. Playing I spy so they hear sounds. Play board games so they 'count on' etc.
Save formal support for the eldest.

I was a teacher. A lot of formal learning is done the way it is because it's 'mass' teaching of groups. Quality time doing real tasks and play with children is really educational in its own right.

Thanks for this @picklemewalnuts I'm going to do this with mine!

I made some terrible mistakes last time with my big plans/wall charts/timetables etc... and regret it. I actually teach (but MA/BA level) so thought I could do it with younger children... it turns out I can't!

A friend who is a head teacher told me before the first lockdown (and I didn't listen!) not to try and teach (let the teachers catch them up later) and instead concentrate on the things that school couldn't teach them: cooking, how to use the washing machine, loads of useful life skills.

My 6 year old also taught me that if you followed their interests they would learn (and really not to bother otherwise). I also realise that for the oldest having space to work and a separate space to switch off/play was important so trying to keep 'work' out of bedrooms.

So... this time trying to go with interests for the younger, baking, walks etc. and Bitesize/Oak Academy etc. when I need a break.... but mostly just not worrying about it and prioritising everyones mental and physical health...

It is very hard, my two are teenagers now but I do remember the little years.

For the younger two, plenty of games and don’t feel guilty for using the TV or internet games. There are loads of great programmes around there is even a school radio with lots of things to listen to. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p007g5y4

You could take one story and everyone listens, the four year old draws a picture, the 6 year old draws a character and writes some descriptive sentences and the 10 year old comes up with an alternative ending.

If you could have 30-40 minutes formal stuff from the school with the eldest (with CBeebies /Disney plus on for the rest). That would make a difference and keep up with everyone else.

If it gets stressful, go for a walk and do something else. In the long run this will work out (my daughter missed 4 months of school with a leg injury and it was amazing how quickly she got back up to speed).

BBC bitesize www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize and oak academy classroom.thenational.academy/ are your friends.

You have my empathy as this people to people pandemic is going to disproportionally adversely impact large households with many siblings. Naturally those with many children are fortunate in so many ways and no doubt are to be admired in achieving the capability to house, feed and transport multiple children. Especially if a single parent with many children! Those extra bedrooms, furniture, clothing, food, toys, technology products and holidays don't come cheap and a luxury to those of us merely affording to cater for one child!

That said perhaps either get multiple online tutors or perhaps split the home schooling if budgets may (finally as so far so good previously) be an issue. There is obviously only one mum to share amongst your household bubble. You need to try to divide your time and follow your own teaching and caring timetable some how as others have suggested. Hopefully this is a temporary emergency and not lifetime challenge. Remember there is usually only one teacher for many children and so you can try to teach along similar lines as one teacher for all your children in one class with each pupil with different needs and ability etc.

I would love to have more children but the pandemic has ended my dreams on practical and affordability reasons! Large houses and all the multiple extras are luxurious! A possible undiscussed Covid impact!

I would love to hear how large households cope as much to learn in itself. Respect and good luck to the larger households! On a positive note you raised multiple children already and so are more capable than you think as some of us barely cope with just one child out numbered by two parents working at home to pay the bills! Good luck and stay safe!

I would talk to the 10 year old and explain how you need them to step up and do as much on their own as possible. I would also recommend subscribing to Audible as they have lots of free audio books for members for younger kids and have a story time hour every day. The little ones can listen to a story as you help the eldest a bit.