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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’ve got nobody

7 replies

soopedup · 03/01/2021 03:34

What do you do when you’ve got nobody? Lockdown has made me realise how on my own in the world I am. My family (parents and a sister) live a few hours away and are just selfish and absorbed in their own stuff. I see other families doing zoom quizzes etc. None of that. I’ve got small kids and they don’t even ring them to say happy new year. The news about the kids maybe not going back to school has hit me hard to be honest as I’ve barely had a break from them (like most people) since last Feb. I text that to my mum and rather than supporting or understanding, she just went off on a massive rant about how bad her day was. It’s like that all the time. My best mate lives a few hours away and is great but is too far for socially distant walks and she has a large, close and supportive family of her own. I feel like I need to advertise for a new family. Grandparents and siblings wanted for normal chats and support and ring my kids to show an interest in them. Me and my husband don’t get on but he’s literally the only person I’ve got. He rarely leaves the house and wants his own way all the time. He calls all the shots in our relationship. I wanted a dog for company etc No. He says no dog so no dog. He’s highly critical and emotionally unsupportive. Wants constant hugs and total support but if I express anything like how worried/upset I am about kids not going back to school he immediately shoots down my feelings and makes me feel like crap for daring to have any negative emotions at all. This is nothing new and he’s always been arrogant and selfish and emotionally unavailable. I used to deal with it by visiting my best friend every few weeks for a long weekend and a dose of emotional support but now I don’t have that. It’s made me realise how alone I am. I can’t leave him either because the only result of that is losing my kids half the time and being even more alone so what’s the point of that. I’ve got a counsellor who is totally brilliant and my conversations with him show me what real life support is like. There is no solution. I can’t magic up a normal/lovely/caring family who do things like actually call on new year. How do people in my position manage? How do you not feel so alone all the time?

OP posts:
Mrbob · 03/01/2021 03:43

I don’t know. I am lying in my bed weeping at the thought of being alone. I can’t help. I just wanted to say I see you and I understand

soopedup · 03/01/2021 03:51

Thank you. I wish I knew how other people bridge the gap. What do you do to feel less alone. Apart from my counsellor, I have nobody to talk to. Really talk to. I wish I had a big family. Siblings who called me up to see how I am

OP posts:
NotEver0 · 03/01/2021 03:52

Hey op,I'm in a similar situation, I've got three kids,one severely disabled, no one gives a shit even though they occasionally pretend they do.family sit back and see me with my bruised body,my bites and scratches from my disabled child ,make the appropriate noises when I tell them or give me awkward stares.ive given up asking for help and given up expecting anyone to care.i hate to say this year has hardened me,its made me realise how little family actually mean or actually care.i wish it was different for us,my god I do,but the quicker you realise you're alone the better.
Times will change, hopefully we one day will enjoy the love and fortune others take for granted,keep your spirit ,your love for yours kids and your positivity,teach them to love and care.sending you an abundance of goodwillx

soopedup · 03/01/2021 03:52

People with large supportive families don’t know how lucky they are. How do you get one of those if you weren’t born with it?

OP posts:
soopedup · 03/01/2021 03:53

@NotEver0 that sounds very difficult. I’m sorry you’re in that position

OP posts:
bartymao · 03/01/2021 04:43

I don't know but I have nobody either

soopedup · 03/01/2021 04:50

@bartymao sorry to hear you’re in the same position

OP posts:
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