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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder how much exercise is too much for a 4yo / 5yo

65 replies

disneybee · 02/01/2021 23:02

Is a daily 3k run in the snow, plus hillwalking 13k in the snow (no carries allowed!) followed by another 3k run the next morning and a 3k round trip on the scooter in the afternoon too much for a 4yo / nearly 5yo?

OP posts:

FuckOffBorisYouTwat · 03/01/2021 08:26

It's not that much it's an 8 mile walk and some 1.8 mile runs hardly marathon territory. My DC at that age often walk 5-10 mile walks and will also play football for an hour (where they will run far more than a poxy mile!)

curtaincalll · 03/01/2021 08:35

Seems a little bit much to me if the child isn't happy. If they are then it's their call. I do agree with getting dc used to walking longer distances at that age to build stamina. It's good for their general health and bone development. My dc are outdoors a lot and they've walked since they were able instead of being in the buggy. 'Carries' were allowed at times though!

At that age they were able to do approx 5-7 miles a day easily if they were having fun. If we were walking somewhere 'boring' or too hot they would be moaning. And therefore carried or on shoulders for part of it. Only with dh though. With me they knew I couldn't carry them for long so didn't bother asking.

They have plenty of tv time too so it's all balanced

TryingnottobeWaynettaSlob · 03/01/2021 11:18

Whaaaaaattt????

sproutburger · 03/01/2021 11:41

My friend can't drive and her child walks 20 minutes to school, 25 mins to gran after school, then 30 minutes home every day and has done since P1. Fit happy kid, slim mum. I was taken on day-long Sunday walks since I was about 7 (brother 3) and we must have covered 10 miles pretty easily, with stops for snacks / poke cow pats etc. I liked it unless it was raining.

Some people in this country are so wedded to their cars and inactive lives that they can't conceive of anything different.

Original poster

disneybee · 03/01/2021 17:38

@MrsOmelette

So 1.8 miles a day generally and a day with 8 miles. That really isn’t to much, especially if they are used to it. Years ago my 3 year old would walk her siblings to school with me, come back, take sibling to nursery, come back, go to get from school and come back - a total of 9 miles (14.5km) a day. And I didn’t pick her up either, if need be we’d walk slower on trips back, sing, chat, splash in puddles. I never felt the need to tell people “no carries allowed” though, that’s the bit that jars for me - it does seem a bit boast but there’s nothing wrong in being proud of your children’s achievements especially to a friend. I wonder how your friend would feel if she knew not only were you judging her but you put this online for internet crows to pick over...that’s not friendship.

The 'no carries' boast was not just to me, but to all friends online on Facebook.

I'm not judging her and putting this online for "Internet crows to pick over" - if you want to call yourself a crow, fine - but I am genuinely looking for helpful advice about whether I being unreasonable to be concerned or not. It's not the amount of activity that's a concern, it's the pushiness and the boasting about it that is bothering me, and it seems like a lot of people here agree. But overall the general consensus is that the worst that can happen is my friend's DD might just take a disliking to hiking as a result!

I find it tough to be in a situation where my friend's parenting style is making me uncomfortable, because I'm sure we all agree that nobody wants to feel 'judged' by their friends.

OP posts:

BogRollBOGOF · 03/01/2021 17:56

My experience of DCs is that it's hard to push them to do what they don't want to do.

Mine both started junior parkrun (2k) at 4 and happily ran all by 5. By March 2020 they had over a hundred jprs each by 6 and 9. It barely touched their energy levels for the day.

Mine weren't ready for 8 miles at 4-5 but we were walking that every couple of weekends over the summer (7 & 9) on undulating countryside. That seems to be their natural limit and they do tire on the final mile towards home. DS2 could do a 5 mile hill walk at 5.

Admittedly DS did end up in the 60l rucksack on a 6 mile walk when he got blisters and was too sore to walk the last couple of miles.

I've been tailwalker at jpr a number of times and it's no fun for a child being badgered by their parents. Most are sensible and drop out after lap 1 if it's just one of those days. I want mine to have a go, but they can do it at their own pace or drop out if it's just not their day.

Gosh I miss junior parkrun. I thought I was taking the kit home for about a month, not 9 months and counting....

moimichme · 03/01/2021 18:02

My ds is not quite 4 but I can well imagine him covering that distance by 4-5 years old, as a one-off. He's extremely active (which is handy since we have no car, thus we need to be active as part of our everyday lives) but if he's tired we do carry him for a bit. He's getting heavy enough that I can't carry him too far, but as an example, before Christmas we went to a park nearby that was 2 miles away, he then ran round for 2.5 hours, playing in mud etc. with a friend and then we walked home. I carried him for maybe half a mile toward the end. So guessing he did 6 miles that day, quite a normal day. He also keeps telling us that we don't have to walk to X location - 'because we can run!'

OlympicProcrastinator · 03/01/2021 18:03

Well MY child just swam the English Channel unaided. I didn’t even know she’d escaped the house till I got a call from the French national guard. She’s 2.

Amateurs.

EngineeringFix · 03/01/2021 18:07

Oh it sounds like the mountaineer version of Victoria Pendleton's childhood!

It's not what I would do but some parents are like this. It is their business really.

EngineeringFix · 03/01/2021 18:09

It's fair enough to be irritated by the online boasting though!

Flowers2020bloom · 03/01/2021 18:09

Regardless of whether it is 'right' or 'wrong ' , I don't think you should say anything OP. I can't see how criticising a parenting style can end well.

Littleideasbigbook · 03/01/2021 18:12

Your friend needs to be careful as if you push them too hard into the outdoor experiences they reject it when they have autonomy as they get older. We did Snowden, Pen y ghent, Ingleborough, Whernside, Scafell Pike regularly when they were younger. I have done 5 'big walks' this week (I need to get out or my mental health is awful). My 9, 13 and17 year old have come with me on the 9 miler on NYD but the rest of the time have passed. It pains me as I 'need' to be outdoors, they don't and I feel bad that I forced them to try be like me when thry were little. They each do a sport (running, football and horseriding respectively) and are quite fit but none of them appreciate the views or fresh air or birds like I do on walks (they liked sliding on ice and loved seeing an otter and its pup on NYD) but the rest of it is 'my' thing and I should have been more mindful about trying to 'mould' them. The 17 year old has started Friday walks after scholl though so maybe they will come back to it. But I feel guilt.

Littleideasbigbook · 03/01/2021 18:14

And my walk today has clearly affected my spelling, another downside

Bookworming · 03/01/2021 19:23

"No carries allowed"

😢

randomsabreuse · 03/01/2021 20:47

I don't carry my 5yo on walks. It's bloody awkward to do as she's long to carry in front of me and wriggles on my back and hangs off my neck.

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