Where do I start (weight)

[JacktomyDaniel]

Trying to make this very short and consice so you don't give up 😂
I'm not looking for a quick fix but have so far to go that I don't know how to begin. I need to lose around 4 stone. I'm only 5ft tall and a size 16/18. I hate how I look.
I have conflict in that I'm a firm believer in you only live once and I love food but I can't go on like this. I'm relatively fit and train at martial arts 3 times a week but it's not helping really (I'm a year in) on its own.
I've decided to do dry January as I drink way too much (4 bottles wine a week ish) and know this is massively empty calories.

Basically I'm wondering if anyone has tips, motivation, tried and tested methods.
I thought about doing a target a month to make it less daunting so this month kick the drink, next month add in a walk a day etc.

Sorry I know it's not aibu but I really need help. I hate myself.

Calorie count.

I lost 8 stones by learning the actual calories in stuff and then growing to grudge “wasting” calories on certain things. It helped me change the way I ate.

Also it helps you find the hidden calories. I often used to make pizzas with the kids by buying bases and letting them make their own. Asda subbed the brand I usually bought one day and I discovered that the different brand, that I had every now and again, had 300 more calories per base than my usual one

Little changes can make a big difference

Quit processed sugar, that includes alcohol. Everything else will follow naturally once you break the sugar addiction.

Be realistic, can you give up drinking entirely? If not don't try, you will be destined to fail, instead set limits that you can work within. For example I only allow myself alcohol and fizzy drinks at the weekend, during the week its water, squash, and tea. I have a similar approach with food, 'unhealthy' and snack food is for the weekend, during the week I eat balanced meals. I can't be content with never having pizza and a pornstar martini ever again, but I can wait 5 days!

OP it looks like you're off to a great start already, you're active and you have identified that cutting down on booze will help, so with that alone you're on the right track!

I second the idea of a food diary, not just to keep track of what you eat (although it's a big part of it) but also to understand why you eat what you eat.

Are you a stress eater? Do you eat biscuits when you're sad? Cheese when you're bored? Do you have cravings at similar times every day? Etc.

Frankly, and although PP who suggest these mean well, I would steer clear of the threads dedicated to specific diets for now. Sure, low-carb or keto or paleo or whatever works for some people, and they're keen to share their success with others which is nice, but unless it is a diet that suits you, you are bound to not be able to keep it up and you'll end up feeling like shit for "failing".

Cutting whole food groups really is not for everyone, especially if food is something you derive pleasure from. It is usually a good idea to try and find a way to still be able to enjoy a bit of what you like in moderation rather than try and never have dessert again.

It could be as simple as not having wine in the house, but allowing yourself a glass when you go out for a meal, or instead of mindlessly going through a box of Celebrations have just a little bit of your favourite chocolate once a week and enjoy eating it

Hi,doing a few weights,or start jogging/walking and building up slowly .
You are likely to find that after doing more fitness you don't want to ruin it by eating high fat food/drinking alcohol.plus exercising gives you extra energy to do more.
Good luck,if you have a ' bad ' day ,don't feel down put it behind you and keep going.
Remember to keep your water intake up when exercising and to warm up and cool down properly.
Wishing you all the best.

I would really recommend Dr Rangan Chatterjee's books. I haven't read his latest one, which is about losing weight, but I found his last book very good and extremely helpful.

He explains clearly how bad habits can affect our well being and gives lots of tips about how to make changes to our lifestyle, all of which can be easily tailored to suit us as individuals.

amazon.co.uk/Feel-Great-Lose-Weight-sustainable/dp/0241397839/ref=sr_1_1?crid=EJX749PPXMY5&dchild=1&keywords=rangan+chatterjee&qid=1609690621&s=books&sprefix=Rangan+chatterj%2Cundefined%2C175&sr=1-1 link]]

Its sounds a bit corny, but I find tracking really helps. I bought a cheap notebook and a few pens, and tracked everything I could think of.

Starting weight, measurements. Number of sit up/step ups I could do. I did couch to 5 k, so I had a chart for that and tracked how far I went each session.

I drew graphs and had squares to colour every pound I lost but having all the other trackers around fitness helped me see the big picture and not just the dial on the scales.

I had written down rewards - lose first 3 lb was nice coffee out with a friend. First half stone was new top etc etc.

I found it really helped to keep me motivated and I was able to see how far is come if I was having a bad day.

I also treated it as a journal - so write about why I was doing It ( feel better, better sleep, able to enjoy doing things with kids, going on a big holiday and wanted for once to have photos of me)

And it's not everyone's cup if tea but there are apps that will show you what you will look like at different weights.

And take baby steps! Your plan to give up wine is great - will help you with the weight but also generally feeling better. Can you pop the wine money in an account to treat yourself as you achieve your goals?

I lost two stone two years ago, and have maintained it since.

My advice is:
slow, steady weight loss - a lb or two a week is fine.
Drink loads of water.
Stop snacking - all snacks.
Three calorie counted meals a day - don't exclude food groups, but make carbs healthier, so brown bread, rice, pasta.
Cut out sugar where possible.
I did it on 1200 calories a day. The first two weeks were hard, so hungry...but the water helps! I now maintain on 1500 calories a day. And I eat loads. Loads of veg, some fruit, pulses, grains. Lean protein. And I've lost my sweet tooth.

@ScepticalBandicoot

I think if you enjoy food and like to make it a central part of life then it's a good idea to "invest" in it. Focus on becoming a fantastic cook, but of meat, fish, and most especially vegetables. Make vegetables a central part of the meal rather than an afterthought - check out Middle Eastern and Mediterranean cookbooks for inspiration, and fill your spice rack to bursting! That way there is no need to be hungry, you still get to love and think about interesting food, and you have the huge bonus to your health of eating a wide range of different vegetables rather than just losing weight.

Ditto this.

I have been making some seriously bitching salads in the past year. Nuts, seeds, oils, fruit, cheese - total riot of texture and flavour and still under 500c for a huge plate.

Because if you treat a salad like a disappointment from the start, it becomes one.

Hello! I'm only 5 foot too, and lost a stone using mfp. Don't set your calories too low - it's setting yourself up to fail. Maybe start on about 1800 for a fortnight, then cut down by a hundred every couple of weeks. I lost about a stone and got down to about 46 kg and never went under 1500 Cal's a day (I exercise regularly and walk a reasonable amount). Good luck. The key is make changes you can sustain - trying to starve yourself will never work.

And yes - I love food too!

TeamRH best plan ever.

I need to correct what @AntennaReborn has said:

Cutting whole food groups really is not for everyone, especially if food is something you derive pleasure from. It is usually a good idea to try and find a way to still be able to enjoy a bit of what you like in moderation rather than try and never have dessert again

Low carbing isn't about cutting out a whole food group. It's about reducing.

With low carbing, all you're doing is shifting round the proportions of food that we're eating - so instead of eating:

high carb/medium protein/low fat

we're eating:

high fat/medium protein/low carb

That said, she is quite right - low carb might not suit you. It's not for everyone. But it's a bloody good start - not only for weight but for general health.

Anyway, I'll shut up now

Make sure very plate of food you have is 1/3 veggies. Even if it's spag bol or similar. Will feel strange to start with but it'll keep the calories down and stop you getting hungry

I lost 4 stone on WW a few years ago and I’ve put some back on but still a size 8-10. Really the weight I got down to was too low for me to maintain long term. I’ve realised that low carb leaves me hungry, I exercise most days so intermittent fasting just doesn’t work for me, and if I deprive myself of certain foods I crave them more. I would aim for 3 balanced meals a day, add more fruit & veg and reduce but don’t eliminate alcohol. Have a good “treat day” at weekend and whilst I wouldn’t graze on junk in an evening I function better on little and often so always have a morning and afternoon snack. Also drink plenty of water.

I can vouch for @BIWI bootcamp! I did the October one and was 25lbs down after the 10 weeks! I'm itching to go on the next one, I'm never hungry and I really enjoy my food! I also do Intermittent Fasting from 8pm to 12pm which I think maximizes your weight loss and breaks the unhealthy relationship with food!

@JacktomyDaniel

Trying to make this very short and consice so you don't give up 😂 I'm not looking for a quick fix but have so far to go that I don't know how to begin. I need to lose around 4 stone. I'm only 5ft tall and a size 16/18. I hate how I look. I have conflict in that I'm a firm believer in you only live once and I love food but I can't go on like this. I'm relatively fit and train at martial arts 3 times a week but it's not helping really (I'm a year in) on its own. I've decided to do dry January as I drink way too much (4 bottles wine a week ish) and know this is massively empty calories.

Basically I'm wondering if anyone has tips, motivation, tried and tested methods.
I thought about doing a target a month to make it less daunting so this month kick the drink, next month add in a walk a day etc.

Sorry I know it's not aibu but I really need help. I hate myself.

Eat less food, use the money saved to buy nicer food.

End result slimmer and eating better food. Win win

I'm probably a similar size to you - a bit taller but size 16. This time last year I was 16 stone 8 and last year I lost 2 and a half stone, with approx another 4 stone to lose. I totally relate in the sense that my mum and siblings are naturally very skinny and eat very healthily - they just don't get how I put so much weight on. I eat for everything too - to celebrate, to socialise, when I'm upset... I found the Noom app really good as it helped me to break the cycle a bit by realising what I was doing. I still have lots to lose but I feel i'm in a better headspace now to do that! Good luck OP :-)

Wow thank you so much everyone. To the people saying don't just cut out alcohol, I would totally agree but I can't just have one glass. So if I can try and go cold turkey so to speak then I will go with that for now.
I've done slimming World in the past and it worked so well but I had to be incredibly organised and I'm just not right now with working full time and the kids.
I'm going to start with dry January, at least a 3 mile walk every day and 16:8 fasting (initially without too much focus on changing what I eat... Will cut the crap but eat what I like, smaller portions and stick to fasting times)
I'm thinking these are achievable goals at least for the next 6 weeks and with luck I'll see some results to motivate me further.

I have pm-ed you OP.

You could try fasting.
Mon to fri are (usually) my 'good' days.
I started off fasting from 8pm to 12pm next day. Did that for about 2 weeks (not at weekends) until I got used to it.
Then increased my fasting from 6pm to 12pm next day gradually.
If I'm feeling cheeky I will do a 5pm to 12pm fast.
I have lost half a stone in about 6 weeks doing this. It is sustainable. It works for me.

Why does it work for me?

1. I only do it 4 or 5 nights a week.
2. I have my normal weekends
3. Fasting reduces your appetite without really trying, you fill up quicker
4. It makes me cut down on my alcohol intake as I am an evening drinking and therefore don't drink if I am fasting.
5. Once I got used to it, I had way more energy and felt amazing.
6. It is the only diet that has ever targeted my belly fat.
7. I still had 2 weeks of festive booze and food. I deff gained a bit but I know fasting will soon sort that out and I feel able to enjoy myself from time to time.
8. It increases my water intake (never a bad thing) because it is all I allow myself in my fasting window.
9. You do not need to exercise while doing this but I do 3 short 20 min workouts a week which is SUSTAINABLE.

10. You can eat what you want during your eating window. Obviously it wouldn't be wise to eat 4 tins of quality street and a multibag crisps. But you could..... and you don't need to worry about carbs and measuring food out etc. 11. It is sustainable

@JacktomyDaniel

Wow thank you so much everyone. To the people saying don't just cut out alcohol, I would totally agree but I can't just have one glass. So if I can try and go cold turkey so to speak then I will go with that for now. I've done slimming World in the past and it worked so well but I had to be incredibly organised and I'm just not right now with working full time and the kids. I'm going to start with dry January, at least a 3 mile walk every day and 16:8 fasting (initially without too much focus on changing what I eat... Will cut the crap but eat what I like, smaller portions and stick to fasting times) I'm thinking these are achievable goals at least for the next 6 weeks and with luck I'll see some results to motivate me further.

If you download the calorie counter app it’s free and you can scan barcodes

It’ll help you see where you can make the biggest changes with smallest effort in terms of calories