Childcare arrangement

[Helloyouthere]

evening all,

We pay MIL £140pm to pick up 2 DC from school and look after them until we finish, around 1hr30 a day. When schools were closed we kept DC at home but still paid MIL.

We are now in teir 4. DC are due to be back at school news depending next week. MIL is also proving childcare to other grandchildren (as far as I know but I'm not sure) parents do not give MIL any money. I dont want to send DC to MILs in this situation either if they are at school or not as it is really against the rules, she should really only be seeing one bubble for childcare but wanted to get views on if we should still pay her?

Do you pay grandparent's for childcare?

We don't pay grandparents, they wouldn't take the money.
We would always send a packed lunch if it was over lunch time and back in the days when things were open we'd give money for any activities.

@Tier10

I’d continue to pay as it’s such a low amount for the childcare you are getting.

Exactly.

£32 a week to be precise .

DM had DS once a week before he started school and now does the drop off /pick up one day. They have a lovely relationship. Under no circumstances will she accept cash but we do take her on an all expenses paid holiday with us once a year as a thank you.

@MrsSDK

That's lovely, and I wouldn't expect payment for a single afternoon a week, but that's not the same as a five days a week childcare commitment.

@Tier10 but she’s not getting childcare anymore.

[quote AhNowTed]@MrsSDK

That's lovely, and I wouldn't expect payment for a single afternoon a week, but that's not the same as a five days a week childcare commitment.[/quote]
Agreed , 5 days is a different story

Your kids are in school with other kids all day. so I can't really see why meeting their cousins at Granny's after school would be any higher risk (to the children. It is to granny)

I think you should emphasis to the other parents that you PAY granny and expect them to do the same, because more kids will be more tiring for her. Can she safely fit them all in her car when picking up, ? Will the parents need to install extra seatbelts in her car, etc?

I think you should emphasis to the other parents that you PAY granny and expect them to do the same

Surely that's up to 'granny'?

Very generous. I never paid my mum for childcare and she had my son most days as she wasn't working. When I had a year off work I had my neice twice a week and my sister never paid me. I've collected my nephew from school and payment never crossed my mind. Agree maybe it's a cultural thing my family would always help each other with everyones kids and wouldn't expect to be paid.

@LoveMyKidsAndCats

You think £32 for looking after children 5 days a week is "generous"?

I feel sorry for your mother, as you obviously feel very entitled to her time.

One of the reasons I paid my mother is because I needed her to commit and be reliable. As if it were a job.

There's a huge difference between,

'Could you babysit for us Friday night so we can go out?' That's a yes or no, unpaid scenario.

'Could you collect dc from school every mon- fri during term time, for 40 weeks?'

What your DM does for you is massive, she can’t have a big day out or go very far away to meet friends because she collects your DC at 3pm or whenever it is every day during term time. I can’t believe some people are saying £140 is a generous amount. Around here you’d get one day of pick up for two DC for £140.
Of course you should continue to pay her even though you won’t be asking her to collect for a bit.
I’m still waiting to have DC but no way will I be committing to everyday pick ups. Possibly once a week and definitely evening babysitting or weekend babysitting to give the parents a bit of a break.

So you would take advantage just because others do. Lovely.

How is it taking advantage when MIL will not be providing childcare anymore?

@pelosi

I was replying to a poster who thought the grandmother shouldn't be paid at all for childcare - if others weren't paying why should she. Indeed went on to say (irony of ironies) the grandmother was taking advantage

@Tier10

What your DM does for you is massive, she can’t have a big day out or go very far away to meet friends because she collects your DC at 3pm or whenever it is every day during term time. I can’t believe some people are saying £140 is a generous amount. Around here you’d get one day of pick up for two DC for £140. Of course you should continue to pay her even though you won’t be asking her to collect for a bit. I’m still waiting to have DC but no way will I be committing to everyday pick ups. Possibly once a week and definitely evening babysitting or weekend babysitting to give the parents a bit of a break.

Same here. No GC yet, and the odd babysitting, overnight or emergency is fine, but commit to regular childcare? Nope.

The sense of entitlement on display, and lack of gratitude is depressing.

I think you should keep paying if your own financial situation hasn't been negatively impacted. We paid our childminder when the dc couldn't go.

Try not to think about her arrangements with others. Yes, it's unfair if she isn't charging for other gc but you don't know the details.

If the children are under 8 and she looks after them for more than 2 hours a day - the legalities for needing to be registered if you are paying her.