To think that not many people ask you how you are?

[bettydaviseyes1]

I'm thinking of one person in particular, a friend of 10 years and love her to bits but everything is very doom and gloom with her. I try be as supportive as I can, practical ways as well as just listening and sometimes trying to cheer up with a funny anecdote etc

However I've noticed that she never actually asks me any questions about me. Sometimes will message along the lines of "you'll not believe wgats happened :(" then I ring or, if I cant, message back asking.

I word searched "howre you" in our last messages and out of the last 22 (I got bored) i had written 21 of them!

Am I being unreasonable to put stock in something like asking how I am? She never forgets a birthday and is thoughtful in that sort if way, I'm just not sure if something happened in my life she'd ever find out as she never asks! I think any information she does know about recent life I've just told her.

I am being petty arent I? Help me out :)

IME virtually everyone asks how you are but none of them really listen to the answer. It's become a conversational starter much like "How do you do?" was in days gone by.

However, I'd expect during the course of an actual conversation with a friend to discover how they were actually doing. I wouldn't expect to share this information via messaging which tends to be shorter and more impersonal.

That’s one person. You’ve said ‘not many’ ask. That’s not my experience. What about your other friends? Do they?

Yes I agree with that, "hows you?" "Great, you?" Then move on without listening. I do try to read the friend and ask gently how they really are if they seem down or off. Otherwise I probably just move on if I think they're fine!

It's probably only that one friend and then most people in work who dont ask.

Tbh I find most people are like that nowadays, will chat about their own life but not ask you about yours.
Think if you want people to know something you have to tell them.

@Fairyliz

I find it very sad! I also dont want to tell if they're not interested. I'm stubborn like that :) I will no longer bore people with my life goings ons and see how long they can talk about themselves for!

Another example is a cousin I have who sends a random meme, I respond "howre you? Hows the kids? Saw that video of their daughter on Facebook, how adorable" etc then she'll go on to talk about solely herself. It's like the meme is to lure me into making all the effort! On future I shall reply "lol"

I have a friend who does the opposite, will never offer any information about herself, always just asks how I am! I find it very frustrating!

@SandysMam

Curious - do you ask?

Maybe she is boycotting putting in all the effort like I am

I don't have friends like that. Drop her. She's not a friend.
I'm very self centred and can talk about myself for hours. But I always make a point of asking how the other person is.

I must be lucky - my friends just make conversation. At the end of it, we seem to have acquired mutual information.

Is that you Meghan?

@MarinPrime LOL

I got stuck in this rut, no one ever asked 'how i was' but does any one really? Like if you are really close friends? I have 2 close friends and if they sent me a message saying 'hey how are you' i'd think something was up 🤣 our messages always start with 'omg so this happened to me...' etc. Just open up and share more about yourself.
I have 1 friend who asks me loads of questions and I answer fully, i ask her the same and its very bland. Just a 'yeah we're good thanks.' and thats it. Its rather boring!

@BeautyAndTheBump1

Yes, I'd say the majority of people I know do! I'm not just talking about howre you, I'm also talking about other questions, any questions related in any way to my life actually!

But why should I tell when shes not interested? If she was she would ask!

Believe me I'd be so shocked if she did ask it wouldnt be boring! I might not shut up for a week. Until this happens I'm going on strike, if you're not interested in my life that's fine but I'm not going to push it on you.

There seems to be some implication that when asked how I am I reply "good thanks" and that's it and that's why people dont ask. I can assure you all that's not the case!