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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitter notice

56 replies

Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 15:55

I've used a babysitter regularly for the past few months to help me looking after my 14mo while WFH. She hasn't been great and at times she's been more of a hassle (she'll let the baby play next to me while I'm trying to work). She didn't have set hours and would move them around at both mine and her convenience. Obviously lo contract. My DP and one friend think no notice isn't great but still within reason as there's no contract and she's a babysitter. Other friends are telling me I have to pay her at least two weeks.

OP posts:
NailsNeedDoing · 02/01/2021 15:57

Is she actually a babysitter, as in someone who does a few hours here and there, or is she someone unqualified that you’ve been using as a nanny?

ghostyslovesheets · 02/01/2021 15:58

poor 'baby sitter' - maybe look into paying for professional childcare

Lookslikerainted · 02/01/2021 15:58

If she’s a babysitter then just don’t book her again, if she is regular like a nanny then 2 weeks is fair.

june2007 · 02/01/2021 16:00

Ok as this is unofficial no you proabably don,t have to give notce. However if you want to be a reasonable person then yes give notice but I think a wk is probably adequate.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 16:00

She was adamant she was qualified when I interviewed her (she said she had been to college for childcare) but even if she had been to college she wasn't great, but always felt bad to let her go

OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 16:02

Yes I've offered her 15 hours which would be equivalent to two weeks.

OP posts:
Ohdoleavemealone · 02/01/2021 16:02

No contract and irregular hours - just tell her she is no longer needed or as pp says, don't book her again.

Diverseduvet · 02/01/2021 16:04

To be fair I think it depends what your original arrangement was. If you just used her ad hoc when you needed her just dont book her again. If you had a more regular arrangement, ie 3 mornings a week with extra sessions if you needed it I would give notice.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 16:06

I guess it was at least 10 hours per week. But she was terrible. She'd use to phone her friends while looking after the baby!

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 02/01/2021 16:08

@Fressia123

I guess it was at least 10 hours per week. But she was terrible. She'd use to phone her friends while looking after the baby!
I'm going to go with this being genuine (cough cough) but she was a babysitter - not a childminder or nanny - so I am guessing you paid her as such - so really I don;t see the issue - you want a nanny really - so maybe you should have got one?
SendMeHome · 02/01/2021 16:11

Is the arrangement that she does 10 hours a week but you agree what they are together?

Or is the arrangement that you call her and ask what time she can do on Tuesday so you can work?

icelollycraving · 02/01/2021 16:18

Isn’t a babysitter more someone who watches tv whilst the kids are in bed?
What you need is a childminder or nanny.

SirGawain · 02/01/2021 16:21

@Fressia123

She was adamant she was qualified when I interviewed her (she said she had been to college for childcare) but even if she had been to college she wasn't great, but always felt bad to let her go
And you didn’t check her qualifications, get a reference or give her a proper contract? In this life you get what you pay for.
Original poster
Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 16:22

Yes, I know I got what I paid for. He's going to nursery now as I had enough of that arrangement and might go to the office more regularly.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 02/01/2021 16:34

I guess it was at least 10 hours per week. But she was terrible. She'd use to phone her friends while looking after the baby!

From the sounds of it you want a slave, not a babysitter! What's wrong with phoning her friends? It's possible to do more than one thing at a time.

LaceyBetty · 02/01/2021 16:36

From the sounds of it you want a slave, not a babysitter! What's wrong with phoning her friends? It's possible to do more than one thing at a time.

What?! How does not wanting your babysitter to phone her friends while working make her a "slave"? I'm not allowed to call my friends and chat with them at work.

Comefromaway · 02/01/2021 16:40

@Fressia123

I guess it was at least 10 hours per week. But she was terrible. She'd use to phone her friends while looking after the baby!
A babysitter generally looks after children when they are in bed asleep. They can watch TV, phone friends etc to their hearts content.

Sounds like she was more of a nanny in which case it sounds like you were under paying her.

LaceyBetty · 02/01/2021 16:45

10 hours a week is not a nanny. That could mean 2 hours a day. Was she expected to give the baby meals, take her to activities, light cleaning etc. That a what a nanny does. This is a " mother's helper" at a push. OP doesn't even indicate what she was paying (unless I missed it).

Original poster
Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 16:45

She was something in between. She wouldn't change his nappy. She wouldn't fix him his food. Sometimes she's give him a bath. But she was on her phone 80% of the time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 16:46

Yes @LaceyBetty I originally put the add as a "mother's help". She put her own rates (not me!) Of £9ph

OP posts:
LaceyBetty · 02/01/2021 16:48

Definitely not a nanny! Didn't even change nappies. She was essentially distracting your baby for a couple of hours. I may be horrible, but I think you are being generous with 15 hours notice.

Butterymuffin · 02/01/2021 16:52

Have you been booking her week by week each time or did you say at the start it was an ongoing arrangement?

Original poster
Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 16:54

That's exactly what it was @LaceyBetty . She looked after him by herself a few days when I had to go into the office. In some ways I've always been generous for not letting her go earlier.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 02/01/2021 16:57

Every week the hours would change depending on both our needs .

OP posts:
june2007 · 02/01/2021 16:57

Well a mothers help is not a baby sitter. i was a mothers help. I fed the babies, I supervised children so mum could get on with house work. One time it was simply so she could walk to the shops. (she had triplets.) But it was adhoc. I think lersson here be clear on what you want. Check references and check qualifications.