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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sending my son to school next week

12 replies

Nasarose · 02/01/2021 13:08

My DS is 12 and has SEN and an EHCP, he’s entitled to go to school next week as he counts as a vulnerable child.

Home schooling didn’t work for us last school year and we rapidly dropped subjects and only carried on with one.

This school year DS had one period of whole year isolation. School at home was a bit better as the school set up online lessons but really hard as DS (yr 8) needs 1-1 support but didn’t want me sitting with him. It lead to lots of frustration for both of us.

I would like to send DS to school next week but I’m worried that the staff will be resentful that I have sent him in as I’m not a key worker (or working at all), we could manage at school at home but it’s damaging to both our mental health.

YABU - you are at home and can support your child so you should.

YANBU - he’s entitled to a place so you should take it to make things easier for you and DS.

OP posts:

TheBigFish · 02/01/2021 13:27

YANBU. He is entitled to the place for the reasons you detail above.

ChablisandCrisps · 02/01/2021 13:28

Definitely not unreasonable! Send him in, its the best place for him to be.

BendingSpoons · 02/01/2021 13:33

There is a reason why they have included EHCP children. I would send him in but do check what provision they will be providing in school.

MaintainTheMolehill · 02/01/2021 13:33

I work in such a school and will certainly not be resentful towards any of the few kids who are in.

There are a variety of reasons for the kids being there and its been deemed its the best place for them to be. Please don't feel guilty.

Scarby9 · 02/01/2021 13:34

Schools I know put in a huge amount of effort to get children like your DC into school during the previous school closures. The school will not resent you taking up the place to which he is entitled.

funinthesun19 · 02/01/2021 13:34

Yanbu.

Sod the anti school brigade.

Original poster

Nasarose · 02/01/2021 14:58

Thanks all so much!

I will send him in on Tuesday- fingers crossed he actually agrees...

OP posts:

Clarinsmum · 02/01/2021 15:39

My DS has ASD and is going in next week in Tier 4. I work full time and he is entitled to go as he can’t get on with home learning and has an LSA at school who will be in. Not sure how he will react when he realises the others aren’t there but there is at least one key worker kid in his class who will be in. Nursery and reception at his school will also be open so I don’t feel bad about him going.

Starlightstarbright1 · 02/01/2021 15:44

Yanbu.i am a keyworker, work from home so my ds stayed home last time. He also as Sn's although no echp.

He is going in part time - i think it is best for us both. I told him this woukd happen before Christmas so he had chance to deal with it.

Jemimapuddleduk · 02/01/2021 15:48

You are most definitely not being unreasonable. My ds is 6 and has an EHCP however did not go in during the last lockdown as risk assessment said no. No
Idea what will happen this time round. He needs 121 support which they may not be able to provide on skeleton staff.

Starry4120 · 02/01/2021 16:02

YANBU op! Send him!

Home schooling children is hard, even harder with sen. My oldest is 10 and autistic, has an EHCP with 1:1 support at school and he is a complete nightmare when it comes to home learning. He doesn’t respond well to me trying to teach him while leads to me getting dressed then Dd gets distracted by DS.

Send him please. He has an EHCP so he has the right to be there just as much as children of key workers.

I felt the same last time. DS didn’t go during the full lockdown. But went back in June. I was made to feel guilty as I wasn’t a key worker (by another parent not the school!). But the school were keen for him to go in so he could get used to things before September, so he could catch up a bit (he is 2 years behind his peers anyway) and just because being at home wasn’t ideal for him. During lockdown he suffered from increased anxiety and really wasn’t himself at all and we got barely anything done work wise.

At DS’s school. They said his place was set in stone and he had a space whether I sent him or not. It was just deciding when to send him.

If the schools were to shut countrywide again (hoping not) I am hoping it will be the same again! He can’t be off for long periods!

Cabinfever10 · 02/01/2021 16:48

I've been offered the same for ds who has got the Scottish version of a EHCP and I've already accepted as he needs the routine but he won't start back until the 11th as part weeks really mess with his routine. His teachers and support staff are wonderful people who don't judge and have the patience of a Saint. I'm sure that the staff at your dcs school will be the same

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