To request flexible furlough

[Archie1989]

Happy new year!

Me and DH have a two year old son. He was just over one when everything kicked off with Covid. We both now work from home, and managed with no help, no furlough etc during the last nursery closures. I would work at every opportunity in shifts with my husband to do our work and parent our son. I had a pay cut, like most, but we were both very lucky to keep our jobs and be in jobs with some level of flexibility so I could work at any time. So I would get up and start work at 6.30am, plough through until 10am, then work through my sons nap time etc. It was exhausting.

We are in Scotland and nursery has closed again until at least 18th January. I don’t know how we will do it again as my son doesn’t sleep during the day much....I am also exhausted as he wakes every two hours at night (this was the case before too, but caffeine got me through). During the last lockdown I struggled to keep up with work, I could see colleagues getting frustrated and the odd comment about me being able to join conference calls. I used up so much annual leave just trying to get my timesheet productive and took unpaid leave where I needed to.

Our son’s grandparents haven’t seen us all for nearly a year, so I don’t want to use all my leave on work again....I want to save it to spend time with loved ones.

I am tempted to ask about flexible furlough this time. If it’s possible do what I can. I don’t know why, but I am scared to ask. Scared how it will be perceived and scared it will raise my head against the parapet for redundancy.

Any advice, comments welcome. I know I’m lucky to have my health and job. My mental health is struggling a bit.

@FairyontopofthetreeBatman I think we will have to do something like that with our working hours.

I decided not to do sleep training as his sleep is developmental. I know he’ll sleep through when he’s ready. He gets bad eczema and suspected food intolerances, so I want him to have comfort when that’s causing issues.

You can ask but I think it’s your employers discretion. That’s what I have been told anyway. Our work non essential retail. All our stores are shut.( staff in stores furloughed) But I work in the warehouse which also deals with internet sales. We aren’t allowed to be furloughed, which isn’t fair as a lot of us are struggling with childcare. We are expected to be at work 9 am Monday

I have to say, the poll results showing more for YABU are interesting. I don’t know whether to take that as people not being sympathetic to the struggles of working parents without childcare or any kind of help?

Crikey! Only on Mumsnet could you have threads bashing OPs for neglecting their toddlers (and duties as an employee) for trying to work at home full time with their kid there, alongside threads stating an OP is out of order for wanting to take flex furlough for lack of childcare

[quote Archie1989]@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett there is a lot of support staff on furlough - by support staff, I mean people who can not book their time to a client as billable. So the company is trying to get their wages covered and then putting their work on the others. I have been pretty disgusted at the company for that.

Back in the first lockdown; the company went into overdrive bidding for work as they thought there would be a turndown in projects....but it all came through and now there’s too much work. I specialise in a field, so my skills have been in demand, and before nursery closures I was getting pulled in every direction.[/quote]
It doesn't sound like the most supportive organisation OP, and I do worry (per your original question) if asking for furlough would then mean sticking your head above the parapet. But I still think you should ask. And then work on a Plan B - for eg if you could take a day off per week, could that be split across the 5 days so you're doing 1.5 hours less each day.

If you're in demand, you're in a strong position. So I'd go to them with 2 or 3 different scenarios - maintaining the status quo should NOT be one of them.

YABU for letting a two year old get you up in the night every two hours. That’s ridiculous. I’d get that sorted straight away. No wonder you’re knackered!

But no regardless of that you’re not BU to ask for flexible furlough.

I know you said you didn't want to use annual leave but if its only 2 weeks ( appreciate may be much longer) could you take a couple of days each week? I appreciate if your holiday year is Jan to Jan you may not want to use annual leave yet

You're getting confused with business grants

I would only be asking for furlough if you can afford to lose your job if I’m being honest. Everyone I know who’s been made redundant at my work and at the majority of my friends workplaces who have made redundancies, have been the people who voluntarily went on furlough.

Sorry that was meant to be in reply to Pfizer.

It seems contrary to my understanding of furlough, but I may be out of date. I'd ask for some leave, as it sounds from what you say OP that even a couple of days each week would help.

In the first instance I'd request flexible working hours to do longer day at the weekend and shorter days in the week. I do sympathise as it's been hard enough for me with bigger DC but I think you initially need to trial flexible hours with the clear message that both you and your husband are contributing to child care, given you being furloughed even part time will impact further On your already over worked colleagues.

I'm also in Scotland, childminders can continue to work as normal, maybe see if you can get one on an ad hoc basis? Also informal childcare is also allowed, so do you have a friend or relative who could look after dc for a few hours a week?

Getting help or advice with his sleep problem would be the top of my list.

Thanks for everyone for your comments. I have found this very helpful in relation to getting my head around furlough options. I’m going to discuss it with my manager next week with a view to avoid it if I can. I will see about some unpaid leave to carry us through. I am very keen to try and not use much annual leave, as my dad is on poor health and I want to keep it to spend time with him while I can. I don’t think he’s got lots of time left.

In terms of anything related to the sleep of my son, while it is hard, I have done a lot of research into our options. It is my choice to respond to my son when he wakes as Infant sleep is developmental and based on my research I decided to not sleep train. We have been looking into his waking if it’s in response to his eczema and allergies, and thus have sought advice and treatment from our GP.

Theoretically employers should be more understanding about increasing demands on their staff during lockdown. Unfortunately I don’t think that is the case. During the first lockdown I did have quiet words with a couple of managers I work with who I know quite well with regards to lowering expectations for those who have dc at home. The stressful home situation of some colleagues wasn’t being taken into account at all, which I did feel was quite unfair, particularly when I knew that they were working into the night in some cases to get things done.

I could understand this as it was horrendous for my family. My kids are older and just had to entertain themselves as dh and I were both swamped with work. We were working far longer hours than usual and I still felt constantly behind. The kids were great, but I feel immense guilt about having no time for them then. We’re in this together and it isn’t usual times. I would definitely try and explain your situation and discuss your options.

@Jimdandy

YABU for letting a two year old get you up in the night every two hours. That’s ridiculous. I’d get that sorted straight away. No wonder you’re knackered!

But no regardless of that you’re not BU to ask for flexible furlough.

She's ridiculous for letting her child sleep naturally?

My nearly 3 year old ebf wakes 1-2 hourly. It's called biology.

Just because she puts her child's needs first she is unreasonable? Please.

@maddiemookins16mum

Getting help or advice with his sleep problem would be the top of my list.

Which sleep problem?

Didn’t you have to be registered for it by a certain time ?

@ForTheLoveOfCatFood

I think unfortunately the furlough scheme isn’t there to support you needing a break and not being able to keep up with work sorry if that sounds harsh

No, but you can be put on furlough for child care reasons.

I’d ask OP. Despite Pfizer’s insistence, they’re wrong that you can’t be furloughed.

My employer has not been financially impacted but there’s a few of us still furloughed since March. We’re furloughed because they can’t have too many staff in the office due to social distancing.

And yes, some are furloughed for childcare purposes.

@Christmasbellsareringing thank you!! :) my sentiments exactly. My son is ebf too. I will always respond to his needs

Look at unpaid parental leave if you can't get furlough, you can take 18 weeks up until your child's 18th birthday www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement
We're both public sector so can't be furloughed so I took some unpaid leave over the summer. My boss was understanding, she recognised I was at breaking point and at risk of going off sick after I became very weepy at work one day so I appreciate the dread you're feeling at doing it all again.

If you check a salary calculator online, after tax and pension adjustments and no nursery bill for our youngest while they were closed, I was surprised how it nearly evened out financially.

Yes, furlough can be used for those with caring responsibilities. I remember reading that in the rules back in March so assume it still applies.