I dont know if anyone will even read this

[Grandfather]

Tonight is the 1st of Jan but new years Eve to me
I had my Grandchildren last night
It was both wonderful and debillitating
at the same time
3 Severley Autistic kids
What am i supposed to feel or think ?
Its obvious they will never be able to care for themselves
And i cant care for them forever
its like a hole
i need them to be better than me x

Do they all have the same condition ? There is help out there . I have a disabled son and we get direct payments to help either respite . Also there will be residential places they can go when they are older with your support . You can still be sort of their lives but not their sole carers. Where are they children's Dad?

Please, if you can, refer yourself and your family to Early Help and tell them all that you have told us.
They will signpost you to lots of agencies, hopefully, who can offer support and respite.
You are not alone.
All good wishes to you.

It's really important that the children have you and your daughter to carefully observe the antecedents and possible triggers for meltdowns and the school or other support services should help you implement positive behavioural support instead of excess medication (PBS is just observing the environmental or physical triggers and changing the environment for instance meeting their sensory needs, rather than the child having to change). It sounds like you are on the right lines. Reach out to any social care or charity support if you want to.

Lots of great advice. It is highly possible, you and your daughter may have already tried some or all of these suggestions... But don't give up. Most parents I deal with in such situations always say the trick is to keep going back... and when you get a NO, you press even harder.