DP rude? or AIBU

[FlappingFanny]

First off: Daily Mail journalists are all wankers!

Almost every time I speak to my DP he interrupts me mid 'first few' words to say something like 'wheres my phone' or 'I'm cold can you/I'm going to put the heating on' and then proceeds to pick up his phone and scroll or head to the thermostat etc... I've pointed it out a couple of times that he does this. Today I've just refused to carry on talking as I find it really rude. The last time I pointed it out and said I find it really rude and insulting and he denied it and denied he done it often so I dropped it and said next time ill point it out.

So today... He gets up at midday as he worked the night shift from home... although he was 'working' he was sleeping on the sofa as he didn't get any calls from customers so at 8am his shift finishes and I get up with the 3 dc and he goes up to bed.

he comes down at midday and sits at his pc to play a game (yes he is generally addicted to gaming and lazy) and I say:

'Oh btw... (I had something I was excited to tell him)

he sits up a bit and starts patting his pockets and looking around and says...

'wheres my phone'

and I basically said there you go you just did it again... he started saying no I just need my phone... I said DS has it and I walked off and carried on cleaning... he said to tell him what I was gonna say but I said no... not in a moody way at all. he said he wont talk to me for the rest of the day if I don't tell him, I said crack on. he said he wont cook dinner later... I said keep trying to push the trigger but it won't work and I just carried on doing what I was doing. he said it was me ruining the day and I said 'yeah ok whatever'

I wasn't moody at all just pointed out I'm not going to say what I was going to say as I feel like he always reaches for his phone as a coping strategy because he can't stand listening to me and needs a distraction... what else can I get from that seeing as its almost every time I speak to him? Feel like a total mug carrying on chatting to him when he clearly doesn't want to listen and I had taken the time before to explain how I feel about it so feel like it's pointless now. TBH I would have carried on if he just said oh sorry, it's a habit or something but he was outright denying it again so...

Anyway.. he stropped off back to bed which is where he is now

AIBU to think it's really rude? Maybe I am just highly boring but he chats to a lot of other people, his mates who he games with for hours a day, his colleagues who he works with hours a day, his mates, etc... I run my own business which takes most of my free time, have no business contacts, I don't game and chat to my friends all day, I'm with the kids 24/7, so he's the only adult I see for a minimal amount of time between his gaming, sleeping, and working so it's not like he's had too much time with me... in the evenings we game together for a couple of hours and I listen to his talk about work and the like during dinner time etc. either way, I just feel like shutting up now and not bothering to start conversations with him. Also starting to get a complex that I'm really boring and intolerable

You may have an inattentive invalidator on your hands. It's not always worth staying.

www.growingself.com/feeling-invalidated/

Yes he's rude - and a bit of a wanker. What does he add to your life, since it doesn't seem to be companionship?

"he said to tell him what I was gonna say but I said no... not in a moody way at all. he said he wont talk to me for the rest of the day if I don't tell him, I said crack on. he said he wont cook dinner later... I said keep trying to push the trigger but it won't work and I just carried on doing what I was doing. he said it was me ruining the day and I said 'yeah ok whatever' "
Sounds like a bit of a panic response to me, especially the escalating 'punishment' from him if you didn't do what he told you to do. Anything rather than apologise and concede you'd been right about his rude habit. And now he's having a tantrum; whether it's to bring you to heel or just because he's a manchild, it's hard to say. Either way, tantrums are not to be pandered too, whether the tantrummer is a child or an adult.

So I'd be ignoring him for now, just as I would a child tantrummer. And for the forseeable future, every time he interrupted I would turn on my heel and walk off. Every. Damned. Time.

It's very rude. If he interrupts you or starts with his phone, stop talking to him and walk away. Repeat until he gets the message.

It does seem more than a coincidence doesn't it...it's happened a few times now.

He’s rude. So are you.

How do you know all Daily Mail journalists are wankers? How many do you personally know?

The three I know are lovely.

I don't think that just ignoring him is the right way forward. It's passive aggressive. Tell him how you feel when he talks over you, and then tell him how you're going to be dealing with it. If that's ignoring him or walking away, so be it. It's your boundary you're enforcing, and your choice how to do it. But explain to him first, otherwise it'll do more harm to your relationship than good.

I suspect that whatever you do will harm your relationship to be honest, because it doesn't sound like he's interested in respecting your boundaries, but if you deal with it in a healthy, proactive way, you'll be able to identify where the toxicity is, and it won't be you.

You are introducing consequences- which surprise surprise he doesn't like. Keep going until he changed his behaviour. He's a rude prick

@Diverseduvet

It's very rude. If he interrupts you or starts with his phone, stop talking to him and walk away. Repeat until he gets the message.

My DH interrupts me when I’ve not finished what I was saying, for a variety of reasons. I’ve told him time and again to stop it. I now do the walking away and he’s mostly stopped doing it. Very occasionally it rears up again and I have to do the walking away again. It’s tedious and rude!

how did he manage conversations before the mobile was invented ? i hate these people and their bloody phone addictions, it's so rude of him.

and as for the daily mail comment, so childish, as so many mners link threads to the dm, so they must read it, they'e the wankers, who then apologise for linking, now that is wankerish.