Facebook philosophers....why does everyone fancy themselves an online sage?

[FortunesFave]

I'm so tired of all the 'wise speeches' people are giving on FB!

So many long-winded posts philosophising about the past year....all saying the same thing too. Nothing particularly eye-opening or inspirational...just a lot of hackneyed nonsense as though they'd copied down some quotes from those tacky signs people put up on their kitchen walls.

"Well it's been the year from hell and like most of us, I've been wondering when it will all end...the answer is....who knows? But what I do know is that life goes on and must go on...life is happening right now so instead of complaining and waiting for things to improve, why not start enjoying what we DO have?"

That sort of thing. Do these people think they're having original thoughts??? The posts are almost always massive too.

Why not just post "Happy New Year!" or something?

@User158340

One of the worst things about the likes of Facebook is it gives a platform to every nonentity who thinks people actually give a shit what they think.

Like Mumsnet?

I suspect you are being attacked because you are attacking other people for doing something completely benign.

I agree OP. I lost my Dad this year. DD health scares. Aunt died on Wednesday. & I woke up on NYE to stupid generic "be grateful for life'" + some of the stuff you've mentioned, standard posts. Oh fuck off was basically my reply. It's in my newsfeed so of course I'll see/skim it even as I'm scrolling by. According to people with FB who pretend they breezily skip past all that grates on them it's not a thing, though. I had a couple via WhatsApp as well. Not in the mood for it at all. 2020 was horrible. Most of my friends are ok but a few acquaintances do send round crap like that.

@FortunesFave

Farandfew looks like it's you who enjoys that sort of thing! I suppose you're one of the people I posted about and it's hit a nerve?

I don't care one way or the other...I scroll past most of them. I just think it's interesting that so many people do this.

Why?

I'm genuinely interested. Nobody's been able to explain...

But not everybody does. The people on YOUR list do. They are people YOU have added to FB presumably? If "so many people do this" then maybe a little look at why, you, engage with that type of person?

I'll defend you, OP, because I agree. People post this carbon-copy, faux-profound bullshit because it flatters their ego to believe that they have something insightful and meaningful to contribute whilst actually exercising the minimum of effort, originality or critical acumen. Perhaps it is harmless, but it always comes across as insufferably smug and simultaneously pointlessly vacuous to me.

‘But I don’t understand! Explain it to me!’ is almost always code for ‘I disapprove and fancy a bitching session’ on MN.

According to people with FB who pretend they breezily skip past all that grates on them it's not a thing, though.

I don't breezily skip past it. If it pisses me off and it's part of a pattern, I mute the person. I have a pretty good Facebook feed because it's largely tailored to stuff I like, or people I like enough to overlook the crap. Actually, from them I think it's cute. I know how they intend it.

I am sorry for your losses, I have been bereaved too, but try to understand that those posts aren't about your bereavement. In the nicest way, they aren't about you at all. They're about whatever that particular person was thinking of at the time. Dislike them by all means, they're crap, but they really, really are not about your loss.

My understanding is that people want to share the philosophies that have helped them - it's a very human thing to want to pass on wisdom I think (just considering how hard it is not to give unsolicited advice on new babies). It's not my thing either but I understand where it's coming from.

Ah
The "wide eyed I don't understand "
Roughly translated as
"I'm oh so much clever and more superior than these plebs come Bitch with me"
At least own your shit

Should say though. What I really have an issue with is people who have tried meditation, affirmations or whatever and then try and sell themselves as an unqualified coach to others. It really offends me when people try and monetise their mental health hacks with no qualifications.

@plumpootle

Should say though. What I really have an issue with is people who have tried meditation, affirmations or whatever and then try and sell themselves as an unqualified coach to others. It really offends me when people try and monetise their mental health hacks with no qualifications.

That's a completely different issue.

I agree OP. I prefer to say this year is awful but we can look forward to a better future, I just feel for people who have lost loved ones and jobs who are being told to be grateful for what they have. Plus it’s absolute nonsense these people have read on a meme, I think a lot of these types of people have been unaffected. One of my friends posted to say she’s had a good year but her thoughts were with others who hadn’t (longer than that) but I think it’s the right tone to strike.
I do love the extra long updates on people’s lives though, mainly because I’m nosy.

@FortunesFave I don't, but that's not the point. Others have said it perfectly already. I don't see what's wrong with people sharing something that's meaningful to them, however trite others may find it. Invalidating their feelings to make yourself feel superior feels nasty to me, and not a kind way to start 2021.

My patience for it is particularly low. There's been more than enough hectoring through the vast majority of the last year startingbwith #bekind. My snooze button has been used heavily. Real life restrictions are more than tedious enough without being "dictated" about how to think and feel.

I know it's not really being dictated to, but there's just so much of it (and MN is a bugger for it too).

I do actually know what's good in my life and appreciate it, but to witter on about it would just sound unbearably smug, and tone deaf to people who are struggling on those themes. But if I'm having a shit day and looking for a bit of virtual human contact, I don't want to be shut down and "thoughtcrimed" by the same trite meme posted by 5 people that day. What I actually need is some human contact but that's inconveniently illegal.

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom unfortunately there has been a strong correlation between the acquaintances of mine who post a lot of affirmations / wisdom and those who become (or try to become) life / work/ fertility coaches.

This too shall pass OP

@BogRollBOGOF

My patience for it is particularly low. There's been more than enough hectoring through the vast majority of the last year startingbwith #bekind. My snooze button has been used heavily. Real life restrictions are more than tedious enough without being "dictated" about how to think and feel.

I know it's not really being dictated to, but there's just so much of it (and MN is a bugger for it too).

I do actually know what's good in my life and appreciate it, but to witter on about it would just sound unbearably smug, and tone deaf to people who are struggling on those themes. But if I'm having a shit day and looking for a bit of virtual human contact, I don't want to be shut down and "thoughtcrimed" by the same trite meme posted by 5 people that day. What I actually need is some human contact but that's inconveniently illegal.

Again, you're making the mistake of thinking these people are thinking about you when they post, that the post is somehow about you and intended to chastise you. They're not. It's not about you, it's about whatever they happen to be thinking of when they post. The fact that you see it from so many people who probably don't know each other indicates how impersonal it is. You don't know how anything you post might come across to someone else in their own set of circumstances.

In the nicest way, it's not about you.

@FortunesFave

Farandfew looks like it's you who enjoys that sort of thing! I suppose you're one of the people I posted about and it's hit a nerve?

I don't care one way or the other...I scroll past most of them. I just think it's interesting that so many people do this.

Why?

I'm genuinely interested. Nobody's been able to explain...

Simple. Everyone likes to believe they are more important and more original than any of us in fact are. Food for worms, m'dear. And no, that's not an original thought.

In the wise words of BBC Radio 1’s Greg James:

I get a bit tired of all the 'just be nice ' speeches on Facebook groups. It's just said by so many people it gets tiring .

Like Mumsnet?

Yeah, but this is just a discussion board for people to debate anonymously, or ask for advice etc. It's more informal.

Facebook gives people a platform who really don't deserve one in the past you had to earn your place on a stage, but now anyone who can hit their hands against a keyboard and make words has an audience. Plus of course Facebook is an echo chamber, and they'll get a zillion likes for pretending they had an original thought, so there's that too.

Very little anyone posts on FB is truly unique or original. It's unreasonable to expect people to be original or at least aware of their unoriginality on NYE and Day. It's the season for sentimental (or maudlin) banalities.

I don't really mind what anyone posts on Facebook, I just scroll past the stuff I'm not interested in. One interesting thing I've noticed over the last couple of days, however, is that the bulk of the optimistic, Pollyannaesque posts are coming from my public sector friends, whilst my friends in the private sector are pretty much staying quiet or sharing their dread at what 2021 might hold. Obviously that's just based on my own circle but I wonder if it's a trend.

Yanbu it makes me cringe but they're usually the types that share every meal and fart on social media anyway and treat people to their musings regularly. I unfollow or unfriend completely if I can get away with it.