Is it to late for me?

[IAmRachelGreep]

For wanting to better my life?

I’ve made bad decisions, I didn’t listen or care at school and quite frankly never achieved anything since. I’m a hard worker and have been since the day I left school but it’s not enough any more.
I feel thick, I feel stupid and I’m ashamed of myself.

I’m 29 and quite frankly have nothing to talk about with anyone because I don’t know anything. I feel like a child when people talk to me. Am I to late to try and get myself an education? Go back to college and then University and actually make something of my life? I’m a mom and a carer and that’s it , I don’t even have 1 friend. I have nothing going for me and I feel education is where I need to start.

Is there anyone that can guide me or offer any advice?

Am I to late? Am I just a lost cause?

Dh finally qualified for his dream career last month.

He had to start by getting qualifications that most people get aged 16.

He's 48 so, no 29 is not too late.

I taught Access to Higher Education for years; students love it, it changes your life. If you are prepared to get into a bit of reading and writing it would be perfect and you can then go to uni if you want. I know loads of people that have done it and are glad they did. Call your local Further Education college, they will advise. You don't have to 'know' what you want to do - or even be sure what you are interested in at this stage.

There's no great rush to decide what you want to do, you're still young.
If you do a college course you could also do the occasion evening/weekend class of any craft you fancy. There's so much out there! Some things you might be happy just touching the surface, others you might want to go more in depth.
Whatever you end up doing, it's good to be creative. It's mindful and good for the soul.

Also, on a completely different vein, I've found myself getting more into politics. Not in a big way but I like watching prime ministers/first ministers questions. I'm not a political person at all but it's good to know what's going on and who's who in politics. I find it way more interesting than I thought I would.

I voted YABU ie you are not a lost cause. As looking at the voting, it seems there's ambiguity about that!

You are still very young in my opinion. Don't be downhearted or procrastinate, just write down what you enjoy, what you are naturally gifted at, and then investigate what options you have to broaden experience or get qualifications in that field.

Come back here and ask if you can't think of options yourself. My dad did a degree at 60, I changed career and did an NVQ at 40; I'm hoping to broaden that with another vocational course next year when I'll be 46.

Happy new year, happy new you! So many options for you as a first step. Psychology for Dummies by Adam Cash type of book...watch some Ted Talks on YouTube (they can really open your mind and you can search for psychology-based talks); read a broadsheet article a day on any subject (Guardian, Independent etc.) Some great psychology books that are also thrilling / enthralling such as Snakes in Suits, The Psychopath Whisperer, The Sociopath Next Door (and a couple of favourites on here) Why Does He Do That and The Gift of Fear.

Also, don't give up you - you sound amazing.

Although a neurologist, Oliver Sacks' books delve widely into psychology and are very interesting and worth adding to your list. Also there's the option of audiobooks - I often find a combination between the two works really well.

You are so young, you can do this.

Does he know about the inheritance? If not do not tell him. If he does know, as others have said leave quietly ASAP as the cynic in me suspects he'll lay on the charm to keep you sweet in order to take advantage.

No you are very young! Most certainly not too late.

Can you start with a university access course, then you can gradually figure out what you want to do, you don’t want to jump into psychiatric nursing/psychology/social work etc till you’ve had a change to think and explore.

I’m guessing your local college will have access courses in Sept. In the meantime take a look at short courses from the OU or short courses at your local college - you might find a GCSE psychology for example.

Also - don’t put yourself down. You are clearly smart and you will bring a lot of life experience to your future career.

Good luck!

There are some short online courses for free if you want to explore subjects without risk:

online-learning.harvard.edu/catalog/free

www.open.edu/openlearn/free-courses/full-catalogue

nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/find-a-course/where-to-find-free-online-learning#health-social

It's never too ,ate, my mum is a very intelligent lady and after having her children young ish put career on hold, she went back to finish college at your age, finishing her masters at 34 and ten years on is now a deputy head and sen coordinator. Anything is possible. My dad at 45 years old is just now doing a foundation degree in HR after thinking he was stupid due to his dyslexia. I started my degree a year late and left due to being severely depressed by the course etc, after taking a short time out I am now on a slightly different degree and going onto my dream msc. I realised I needed to put my happiness first and start doing small things to better myself, do the same.

Sounds incredibly random but have a look on job sites and see what kind of jobs might interest you. You can then look at what kind of qualifications and experience they require and take it from there.

“Research the qualifications needed for the jobs you like the look of” seems the least random advice ever

OP the suggestion of social worker seems far better to me than psychotherapist or yoga teacher.

Of course you're not too old at 29, but I think you may be a little lacking in intellectual curiosity, although you mention caring responsibilities, so I assume you haven't had a lot of time to develop this.

You need to read - just read. Read EVERYTHING. Be interested in everything, from politics to gardening to competitive trampolining to the state of the economy in South America. Read and listen and try to meet people in varying fields and industries and ask them questions about their jobs and lives.

You are still young enough to have the luxury of time to work out what you're interested in: don't shoehorn yourself into a box.

Just READ.

You are not a lost cause OP! You are still young. And good for you for wanting to better yourself. Lots of pointers on here - I wish you the best of luck. Go for it!

OP you sound amazing. You're very articulate and you already do a very hard job which lots of people wouldn't be able to handle.

Look at the Prospects website, it lists hundreds of jobs in different fields and tells you what qualifications and skills you need to have. You can also do a questionnaire which suggests jobs you would be good at based on your current skills and outlook. I've found it really helpful.

www.prospects.ac.uk

Keep us posted!!

It’s never too late!! Go for ti.

It*

Of course it’s not too late. You just have to make a start somewhere. I would maybe start with 3 simple goals. Read a book, non fiction, Michelle Obama is a good one to start with. Maybe join your local library or find a book club? I would also look at free courses you can do, look up future learn on the net, they have lots of free courses just for education purposes. Don’t be put off if you don’t understand some, they are taught sometimes by people who have spent years studying a topic. But make notes of words or people you have never heard about and look them up. You could set aside time each day or a block of time once or twice a week. Do let us know how you get on? Learning is wonderful and positive.

That must have taken a lot of strength. Well done him. Dh got put off by similar by the sound of it.

It's never too late OP

The fact you are worrying about this shows you aren't stupid

I have a friend who was in the same position as you. I met her at a family history class at the local community centre.

She decided she needed to use her brain and began researching her family history and made new friends in the group. She then went on to do GCSE then A level history. She's now working towards an OU degree.

Find something that interets you and go for it.

Is there anyone at work you admire? Where you think gosh I'd love to do that job? Could you ask them how they got there? Speak to a manager about any mentoring work might offer?

If you've never studied before open university can be a bit scary but it does work well with kids

I think it is definitely not too late to return to education. And you seem quite passionate about mental health so would probably also enjoy the study ahead of you.
I returned to uni full time at the age of 28, as a single parent, and although it was extremely hard going and there was never enough hours in the day, and obviously money was always tight, it really was worth it in the end. I personally felt that returning to study as a mature student, with more life experience was actually a real bonus. During my first time at uni, when younger, I really did concentrate more in the partying/social side of things, whereas as a parent and mature student I had so much more focus and had more of a 'goal' that I wanted to go towards and with that I was able to graduate with a great grade (1st), which, tbh, I probably wouldn't have achieved had I stayed on first time round. You really have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, with the added bonus of your child/ren seeing you work hard, knowing that anything is possible if you put your mind to it

Work smarter, not harder. Be prepared to make more selfish decisions, putting your own goals at the forefront. University is a route into better paying jobs for many women, since the jobs-for-the-boys network doesn't really work for them getting these fabulously well paid jobs while having no qualifications.