Christmas gift return

[PeoplePleaser57]

Usually, Christmas is my favourite time of year, but with not being able to have our adult children home for the week as we usually do, shielding since March, having new health problems diagnosed on top of the ones I already had that mean I have to shield and an emergency operation to top it all off - I've hated it this year.

My DH knows I love surprises, and he bought me something lovely for Christmas, unfortunately, someone else bought me the same thing, so DH has returned his as it was the easiest option and meant the other person didn't need to know about the duplication (he would have been very upset and the fall out would have lasted months).

So instead of buying me something else, my DH has just transferred the £60 it cost to my bank account. AIBU to feel sad about this? Given that he knows I love surprises and that it's been a crap year all round? I can't work out if I'm being silly feeling a bit upset (the clue is in my username!).

This wouldn't bother me 🤷‍♀️ you love surprises, he got you one, not knowing someone else had got the same thing. Maybe he hasn't got another idea what to get and thinks it would be better for you to choose something for yourself?

I've found it hard thinking of gift ideas this year when many people I know aren't really going anywhere or doing anything.

I think you're being a bit silly. He probably thinks that now you can treat yourself to whatever you like.

He's not going to read your mind though, if you would prefer he get you another gift just ask.

Yabu, he bought you the surprise and it’s not his fault you got it from someone else. Now you can take the money and buy something you actually want instead of something that someone thinks you might want

I agree you are being a bit silly as he did buy you a gift. He might have been really pleased with it and a bit disappointed it had to be returned. You could ask him if he will buy you something otherwise pick something for yourself in the sales.

I have an idea - you transfer the sixty quid to me, and I’ll buy you a surprise. It might not be a £60 surprise though, might only be a £10 surprise and I keep the rest!

Yeah I think YABU, if you return a gift surely you don’t expect the buyer to go and chose you something else? You received a gift, you didn’t want it, you chose to exchange it for something else. I think because it’s your husband it’s clouding your judgement.

He took time to buy you a lovely surprise gift, then returned it without complaint when it was duplicated and has given you the money to treat yourself. He's done nothing wrong. I suspect you're focussing on this because Christmas generally as disappointed you. Make sure you spend the money on something you really like.

I think YABU. He bought you a lovely surprise, unfortunately duplicated by someone else, and has agreed to return his in order to make life easier for you. I don’t think he should have to try again.

YABU. Your husband bought you a lovely gift, it didn't work out but now you've got money to spend as you please. Struggling to see the problem.

In the nicest way yabu. I think we are all a little fatigued. The thought of having to choose another gift would be a bit overwhelming

He did give you a surprise, it just happened to be the same surprise as your friend!

It must have been disappointing for your DH and probably took him ages to think of it. Why should he have to find another surprise? I find it weird when adults want surprises. You can buy your own surprise!