Should I stay or should I go

[coppersage]

I want to leave my DH but scared that I don't have time to meet someone else/start a family. Should I just stick it out and have kids with him. I am 36. I realise this isn't 'old' as such but every year counts in the fertility world. We have been having fertility treatment for 4 years with no success and it's been such a long, slow process, I don't know how it would be to restart all over with someone else. The 'infertility' is due to me and I also come from a culture where having babies is a big deal so any future partners would most likely be put off by my fertility issues. This also makes me think I should just stick with DH and at least give myself the chance of having a baby.

Do you want to leave just because you can’t have a baby or have you fallen out of love with him?

Dear god this is horrible situation you are in
Normally I'd say it was a terrible idea to even think about having children with someone you don't love and really unfair on him too but I do have sympathy with your fertility situation
I had my second Ivf baby at 46 and it was me who was infertile so it is possible

The main reason I want to leave is because of the way we argue. We've been married 5 years and our relationship was very up and down at the start (with constant rowing, where I was close to packing my bags and leaving) but things have been great the last 2 years or so. However, we have had a row 2 days ago and it bought back all the memories of how ugly our arguing can get and I started to wonder why I'm still here. Worth noting that the one thing he is super supportive about is the fertility issues. I know he really wants to be a dad but has never made me feel bad, he's been there throughout, comes for every appointment, deals with my mood swings when I'm on medication. Always reassures me when I'm feeling down etc.

I do love him, and he loves me. But in some ways we are very different and arguments can get heated to the point where he is swearing, throwing things, storming out etc. To people on the outside we are that 'perfect' couple, professional, with good jobs etc. It feels like only I have seen the other side to him.

Swearing and throwing things is very bad.

Maybe marriage counselling would be a good idea. Explore options before giving up snd moving on. If not together, even just for yourself. You’d be so surprised how one person changing how they respond in arguments can change the outcome.