To be feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment?

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

Not really an AIBU but I posted in chat and it was missed and I don’t really feel it’s a mental health issue as yet. I just feel completely overwhelmed and could do with some online support as I don’t have lots in real life.

I feel this awful sense of impeding doom. I’ve had a few stressful events - getting married (happy but stressful), dd in hospital, a falling out with my mum and abusive messages from my brother.

There was a misunderstanding over paying an invoice to the church and we’ve apologised and settled in full with an extra donation and thank you card.

But I feel like the wedding was cursed somehow and everything has gone wrong and we can’t fix it. I know that doesn’t make sense. I’m worried that every time I look back at my photos I’ll feel sad about this.

I feel sad and super anxious. I didn’t have my mum at the wedding and I posted the background on here and got a lot of support - but I’m feeling awful now - really guilty and it’s something I can never take back.

I just unsettled. I’m not sleeping properly and haven’t for weeks now really. I just want to make everything ok again and I feel like I can’t.

We are waiting for CAMHS support for dd and she desperately needs it - it looks like she won’t even have the structure of school for the first two weeks. So I’ve got to keep myself together and support her, but I don’t know how to unpick the way I’m feeling.

Has anyone been through these feelings of just being overwhelmed by lots of relatively small things or got some strategies for dealing with it? I should be really happy but everything feels a bit bleak. I imagine lots of people are struggling with lockdown at the moment. I know I’m not in the worst situation here and I do have empathy for those who are finding it harder.

My situation is slightly different but similar feelings. The sort of decisions I would normally make in a split second, are weighing heavily on me at the moment. There’s a lot of things all on me to decide and I’m just struggling. I think psychologically, the ‘oh 2020 has been awful’ mentality has led people to expect next year to be better, to be different, and actually we’re not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel yet.

Yes I think it’s hard not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t go and see anyone or arrange a social gathering to cheer myself up. I can’t plan a trip away or anything. I think the wedding was keeping me going and now that’s over, I’ve nothing to do but dwell on anything that didn’t go right.

I’ve been buying a house! And whilst I had that to look forward to, I could deal with it. Now it’s all gone through, I’ve nothing anchoring me other than Covid. It needs some work doing to it which I need to make decisions on, but I’m just incapable!

Definitely know how you feel on that front. Honestly, I’d love to offer some help but today it’s particularly hard for me - so I’m just hoping I wake up feeling a little more positive tomorrow.

It’s not just you, I promise.

It's all a bit mental at the moment, and that's for those that haven't gone through the stress of a wedding in covid times!

You're married now, the bill is paid, just try to put it in the rear view mirror, and settle into married life.

It is hard, also, when you've had the distraction and focus of the wedding, to find how to use the time, focus and energy that you were putting into that, into something else. What do you two enjoy doing together? You've got more time for that now!

It’s 2020 - it’s enough to push anyone over the edge. Please think about making appointment with GP, it’s better to deal with these things before they get out of control.

I think I feel guilty making an appointment with the GP when my dd’s mental health is much worse than mine. I do react well to ads though - although they tend to make me feel like I’m looking at life through a window. I stayed overnight in hospital with dd a week or so before the wedding and I’ve maybe underestimated the stress of it all.

We like walks, watching The Crown, our dogs, eating nice food, drinking....there are lots of nice things I could try to focus on.

You are definitely not being U, and it sounds as though you have had a lot on your plate. I live with anxiety and your fixation on the wedding being cursed was a flag for me - when I'm in a state of high, prolonged anxiety I can be prone on focussing on a negative thought/belief, dies that ring true for you? If you can see a GP, do so. Id also recommend doing what you can for yourself in the meantime, Anxiety UK website, up your 'self-care' whatever that looks like for you (for me it's walks, decent sleep, low alcohol, good books, eating regularly and well). Your cup sounds a bit empty, and with your daughters MH understandably on your mind, it might be a good idea to look after yourself. All the best ❤️

Oxygen mask. If you're more stable and able to cope, you're more able to help your DD be more stable and able to cope.

Yes I guess I do need to contact the GP. It is spiralling anxiety and I’m focusing on lots of different things and obsessing about them to an unhealthy degree. Dd was suicidal and I thought I was coping ok but it would be natural to be struggling a bit. I feel a bit of an irrational injustice that people who don’t know are being snippy or cold with me and I’m obsessing about stuff that doesn’t matter.

No advice, but just to say you're really not alone in feeling this way. So if talking helps, please keep posting and we'll keep listening.
It's really hard to put it into words isn't it? For me these last few months I've felt like I'm constantly waiting for something - no idea what - but that unable to settle type of feeling you get when you're just about to sit an exam descended on me last summer, and hasn't left since.

I empathise OP. I’m so sorry to hear your daughter is going through such a tough time. Agree with PPs who suggest seeing the GP and trying to access some kind of counselling. You do need to look after yourself, don’t feel guilty about that x

Thank you. I’ve never found counselling helpful and I can see how scant the resources are for my teen - but sertraline has helped in the past.

@Haveyoubrushedyourteeth said it wonderfully. I’m going to take that on board myself!

Remember that nobody’s feelings trump yours. I’m sorry your daughter is going through a rough time, but that doesn’t negate your own struggles, don’t forget to look after yourself as well!

I haven’t felt like this for quite a while. I feel like I have absolutely no resilience at all.