Is my oldest friend a narcissist??

[Aghhhhhhhhhh]

So recently me and my oldest friend have fallen out because she tested positive for covid and could of potentially given it to myself and my family (we all came back negative) she is a carer and has a severely vulnerable family member and she had been staying at said family members house unnecessarily so cue alot of panic has ensued, now my friend had been helping another of her friends who had covid (claims she only left things at the door but this is questionable) but she blames the vulnerable children she works with (private carer) for giving her covid. After I basically called her out on her lies and how she's put lots of people at risk she's basically played the victim and sobbed to her husband and now he's had a go at me 🤦‍♀️ if she wasn't so inconsiderate no one would of said anything but she literally does what she wants regardless of what people tell her.

Abit of back story, I've known her going on 20 years, she's always been very argumentitive and stubborn, she will take any opportunity to pull Google out and try and prove you wrong on ANY subject (literally) she will argue til she's blue in the face that's she's right and everyone else is wrong even when facts have been shown to her. Funnily enough Google is wrong when it doesn't side with her, she will cry the second anyone has a harsh/serious tone with her so that everyone feels guilty for daring to be annoyed with her. She judges everyone so harshly yet she is so far from perfect it's crazy. She will pull up irrelevant things in an argument to essentially batter them over the head with (mentally) for example I brought up the covid thing and she started kicking off about a time when me and my partner werent getting along very well.

I'm actually sick of her and her behaviours, she makes me feel constantly on edge and like I've done something wrong all the time. Claims she cares about me but hasn't really been there for me when I've needed her.
Aibu to think she's a narcissistic person and I'm better of cutting her out of my life?

Take some responsibility. You know what she's like and chose to socialise with her.

I know a friend is a bit lax so I dont see her at the moment. It's not hard.

So this really isn't about the COVID situation, that's just a good opportunity for you to end the friendship.

However if you knew she was dropping food at another persons door and you were unhappy with this, why let her close enough to infect you ?

I think you need to look up the definition of narcissist. Batshit

It sounds like you need a break from the friendship. A break between the two of you might help you realise whether the friendship is worth saving or not x

Neither of you sound great. Immature.

Then stand by your thoughts.
Don't accept the people on the thread being nasty, I know what you mean about being too nice and being used.
Use this time to lower your contact, if she is upset , tell her the truth, you can use Covid as a reason not to see her, and look to see what happiness she brings to your life, if you still feel that she brings nothing and moans too much you can get your partner to help you reply to her wish for contact in a way that that your happy with.

Then just stop befriending her? Surely if you’ve had enough you don’t have to put up with it anymore???

because she tested positive for covid and could of potentially given it to myself and my family

If you were following the rules properly surely she couldn’t have potentially given it to you and your family?

Hi Op
Your Toxic Friend sounds Very Nasty piece of work.!
I don't like sound of her !

(I think cause you as her long standing friendship being so emotionally invested in this.
Has Clouded your Judgement so long.
Hence sticking to a friendship that is totally out of balance/not healthy
For you.
She your friend sounds like a "User"
You do All the emotional giving/she does the the enotional Taking only.

Very Needy and very insecure hence the nasty attitude towards Child/ your partner and your ex partners in the past

For some strange reason I think the issues of Covid with your Toxic friend has confused some Posters on here..

Your Toxic friend sounds a classic verh emotionally abusive manipultive,
Person how she (twists manipulates "personal stuff you trust to tell her about.

The way she Toxic friend takes advantage of you trusting her telling your personal stuff
And she uses this infor as a weapon ,
When you disagree with her assertively !

The covid situation was the icing on a very many layered cake.

@Aghhhhhhhhhh

I had a go at her for potentially giving my family covid when if certain members of my family catch it they will end up on a ventilator and most likely not survive. I had a go at her as well because she put her own clinically vulnerable family member at risk and the young clinically vulnerable children she works with at risk. What you don't understand is that she is someone who will do whatever she wants and not give a damn about any implications that follow. If she was a carer to your own DC I imagine you wouldn't be happy with her behaviour, especially if you found out she was blaming your children for it and telling people all the details about your children (which is a different thread)

Maybe report her to her employer for disclosing private details about the children she cares for?

I think that it's time to let go of her. She clearly rules you and upsets you.
Why on Earth have you put up with her for over 20 years? Just let her go.

Hi Op
I think the reason why you have stuck with this toxic friendship for so long,
Its because you have got stuck in the past,what was things were like between you and your friend with shared memories entwined,

You have become Confused hanging on hoping things will go back the way things were like before.

People change ..

Run from a narcissist friend - they make your life a misery. You’ll find yourself constantly arguing in your head about why you’re right and she’s wrong and you. It almost gave me a panic attacks just coming into contact with her in the end.

Yabu to try and diagnose her over the internet with a serious psychiatric condition, and expect ransoms on the internet to reliably confirm that non medical diagnosis.

Yanbu to not talk to her again as it doesn’t sound as if you like her, or that either of you brings anything positive to the other’s life - you’d be better off cultivating new friendships that bring you happiness.