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Original poster

Help, just bought a house, now splitting up

33 replies

hoppetyhophophop · 30/12/2020 15:22

Hello everyone. I need help, I’ve got myself into a messy situation and I really need some help to move forward.

I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years. 6 months ago we bought a house together at which point DP turned into a right shit and has very recently become abusive. I’ve no idea what’s triggered it and I’ve no interest in finding out. I've ended the relationship and he moved out a couple of weeks ago, he just wants his portion of the house deposit back, which I have in savings.

I need advice about what to do about the house. I can afford the mortgage very comfortably on my own but how do I go about changing things? Is it a case of informing the mortgage company and they check if I can afford it and if so, he signs everything over or (as I suspect) is there much more involved?

We’re willing to sell if I can’t take over the mortgage on my own.

We’re on a 5 years fixed term, which I think will mean early repayment charges if we sell it but how about if the mortgage just falls to me as opposed to the 2 of us?

Sorry if this is muddled, I'm feeling very foolish right now.

I will read over the mortgage Ts & Cs and get some further advice as soon as I can but I hope someone can offer some wise words in the meantime.

Thank you

OP posts:
Alexandernevermind · 30/12/2020 15:24

No advice from me, just a very well done. Please don't feel foolish. Flowers

Taikoo · 30/12/2020 15:28

Well done you.
Leave the loser to it.
You'll be fine.

Someone with practical advice will be along soon to give you concrete info.

sbhydrogen · 30/12/2020 15:30

Talk to your mortgage company, or an advisor, and see what your options are. Then go through a solicitor to pay him his part of the deposit. Best to have everything written down - don't do anything in person or over the phone - so there's no arguements if anything difficult arises.

Break it all before it really gets to you. I have a friend who had a two and a half year battle over the house when something similar happened.

Good luck! And nice work on not taking any of his shit 💪

Socksey · 30/12/2020 15:31

Ring the mortgage company..... mist will be helpful and will give you advice on their products .... it is likely to include a new application based on your sole income but if you stay with them you may be able to avoid the penalty that selling or changing product would entail. Btw your ex is also liable with you for any and all costs associated with the mortgage until he is off it.
In the meantime you can change council tax and get the single person discount etc and change all the other bills.

Bells3032 · 30/12/2020 15:31
  • you will need to speak to the mortgage company and see if they will just let you move it to your own name, it will be up to them whether they will charge you early repayment or not. You will need to speak to a lawyer about getting the deed transferred. In budgeting also consider there may be stamp duty implications if you buy him out.

There is an article on money supermarket www.moneysupermarket.com/mortgages/joint-mortgages-separation/

Socksey · 30/12/2020 15:32

Sorry about the typos.....
And all may not be entirely accurate but for most of the normal costs will apply

Bells3032 · 30/12/2020 15:32

PS well done you for getting out

Designateddiver · 30/12/2020 15:34

I remember needing to get the solicitor to get the deeds to my name only, this cost about £600. Mortgage wise, I honestly can't remember, so must have been very straight forward, just contact them. I would do it as early as possible when he is still willing

Ro198 · 30/12/2020 15:34

I think you can take over his part of the mortgage if he agrees to this but you will need to run through an affordability check with your lender, if you borrowed the most you were able to then this might not be possible. If you chose an alternative lender then they might be able to offer you more but you’d need to pay early repayment fees which could cost up to 5% or the mortgage value. You’d need to check with your existing lender how much this would cost.

ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 30/12/2020 15:35

Sorry to hear about your situation.

My ex husband has just bought me out of our house. He spoke to a mortgage advisor who helped arrange my name being taken off the mortgage (you could speak to your bank). We both needed a solicitor to get the deeds transferred into his name. It was a reasonably easy process.

Buttercupcup · 30/12/2020 15:41

I bought out my ex in similar circumstances. I went to my mortgage provider first and they were incredibly helpful (they deal with it often unfortunately.) I had to go through an affordability check and due to that had to extend the term of the mortgage by a couple of years to meet their criteria. I also had a convening solicitor who was helpful. I didn’t have to take a full new mortgage it was more admin to remove exH and increase the term to bring it into affordability on paper. It was a relatively easy process and took about 6 weeks. Good luck!

Buttercupcup · 30/12/2020 15:42

That should be conveyancing!

randomchap · 30/12/2020 15:51

Get a solicitor and legal advice.

Although he's saying he just wants his part of the deposit back, he might change his mind/start messing you about. Especially if he's abusive.

DelphiniumBlue · 30/12/2020 15:51

Speak to your lender, specifically ask them about costs, and involve a solicitor to make sure it's done properly as the Land Regisrty title will need to be changed too and there will need to be a Transfer and a Tax form completed and signed. There will be solicitor costs and a Land Registry fee. Well worth paying to get it done properly .

2bazookas · 30/12/2020 15:53

Do everything through a solicitor and split the fee.

Nunoftheother · 30/12/2020 15:55

I don't think there's any reason you should feel foolish. You weren't to know that your husband was going to turn into an arsehole.

The very good news is that you can afford both the mortgage and your husband's portion of the deposit. If you can comfortably afford the repayments I'd say there's a good chance you'll be able to take over the mortgage yourself and not have to sell (which is obviously by far the most straightforward option). But only the lender will be able to confirm that, so I'd get in touch with them as soon as possible. It won't be the first time they've dealt with this type of situation.

Good luck.

tara66 · 30/12/2020 15:58

I think you have to takeover the mortgage from the mortgage company and not give the money to the ExH. There might be some extra costs and losses too for consideration in the form of the mortgage company fees (original and new) and the estate agent's and lawyer's fees paid when you recently bought the property. You should try to split these with Ex.

tara66 · 30/12/2020 16:01

I mean the tax you paid if any when buying - not estate agent's fees.

fizzandchips · 30/12/2020 16:08

Please don’t feel foolish. Too many of us feel too foolish to act swiftly and find ourselves 19 years later thinking why was I not more gutsy earlier? Your gutsy and brave, not foolish. Get financial and legal advice and start 2021 knowing you’re doing the right thing!

NotStayingIn · 30/12/2020 16:24

Gosh don't feel foolish! You're handling this brilliantly, I'm impressed.

So out of interest I just googled 'what happens to your mortgage when you split up Santander' and Santander has info on it in their Manage Your Morgage Q&A under Changing Borrowers. (Info below)

So maybe your mortgage provider has the same info online?

Good luck!

From Santander:
If you want to add or remove someone from your mortgage we’ll need to make sure you can still afford the payments after we make the change. To do this we’ll look at your income and outgoings.
As part of your application you’ll have to:
pay a £95 fee on completion and
appoint a solicitor and pay any associated costs.
Then there is some info on how to get in touch with them.

QuiltingFlower · 30/12/2020 16:42

Sending you a hug. Well done on being true to yourself. CA has really good information on ending a relationship- this might help (advice if you are in England, go to their website if you are anywhere else )

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/

All the very best.

Winter2020 · 30/12/2020 16:44

If you do have to pay an early repayment fee make sure you split the fee with your ex as it would also need to be paid if you sell up.

Jusu48 · 30/12/2020 16:45

Don’t forget to bill your ex for half of any extra fees incurred to transfer the mortgage.Well done. Go for it girl!

letsnotscaretheneighbours · 30/12/2020 16:50

@NotStayingIn has given you good advice @hoppetyhophophop

You will also need to get s solicitor to do the transfer of equity and I would also get them to pay the ex the money you are paying him.

Cityonlockdown · 30/12/2020 16:52

I’ve no idea what’s triggered it and I’ve no interest in finding out

I can afford the mortgage very comfortably on my own

These are probably the two best things that I have ever read on here.

Deep down I think this is why I desperately want my DD to do well with her future she's tiny at the moment but I long for her to be able to manage a house on her own, for this reason.

I myself have made many a mistake.

Be proud of yourself OP, you are not foolish AT ALL Flowers

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