to ask how you study with DC??

[CC2021]

I went back to university and am trying to study for exams with an 8 year old in the house. I'm a massive stress head when it comes to exams anyway but covid has just made it worse as I can't just go to the library or (realistically) get DH to take DSD out for a couple of hours. My study is right next to DSD's bedroom and (understandably) she can be quite noisy.

So how do you do it? Do you just study when they're in bed?

I did my degree with four kids under 5 and a full time job so yes it’s possible.

I studied evenings and a few hours at the weekend when they were off with grandparents. I appreciate that’s not possible at the moment but an 8 year old can occupy themselves for a couple of hours, even if it’s on a screen...

At exam time (three months before for revision) I got up an hour early, did an hour of revision in the morning at work (and missed the traffic, yay) and did my flash cards over lunch. There were many days I was up until midnight and then up again at 6.

It was very tiring but I did well in my exams so it’s doable if you have the discipline for it!

Could she play downstairs and you stay upstairs and study? Make the bedroom just for sleep?

Oh and the biggest life saver for me was typing up flash cards into Word (colour coordinated), converting to a PDF and saving to iBooks - so I had my revision material with me constantly on my phone.

I also took the kids to soft play early on a Sunday when it was quiet and sat with my books and a coffee whilst DH ran after the kids!

Yes to when they're in bed! I've been struggling to do a masters for 2yrs since DD just turned 2. It's the only way - that and skipping dinner! Only 6 months left!!!!!

Thanks for your reply @CressidaTheHeathen. Well done on doing it with 4!! I'm super in awe of people like you who are able to do it with their kids around (for the most part) every day.

I found it a lot easier last year, I was doing like you and getting up earlier, doing evenings etc. I think it's just really thrown me not being able to do things like going in to the library earlier. She's actually pretty good at occupying herself it's just the noise I struggle with.

As a single parent

I used to get up really early. It was difficult but it’s not for ever.

Can you do it somewhere else? Or her noise cancelling headphones (but tell her so if she really needs you she can come and get you?)

I do my studying at the fold out kitchen table!

Sorry, cross post!

@LouiseTrees I think that's a good idea about being downstairs.

@CressidaTheHeathen I love that idea of having it on phone. Most of my stuff is saved on OneDrive so I can download it onto my phone, it comes in quite handy.

@Royalbloo yay for only having 6 months left! Without meaning to wish life away, I can't wait until I've only got 6 months left. I'm in year 2 of 3 so feeling like I'm in the thick of it at the moment with no end in sight!

Early in the mornings and at nap times (I can't concentrate in the evenings).

Why can’t DH take her out for a long walk once a day? Or play games with her downstairs away from your study. She can’t be sitting in her room all day surely?

Otherwise noise cancelling headphones or just silicone earplugs are good.

I would have thought it was possible to work with a child who is someone else’s responsibility in the house.

It's been a huge distraction from abusive H leaving so in a way it was a blessing and this year (with Covid) is soooo much easier than last year.

In 2019 I had all my friends asking me to come out and a study weekend on my birthday, which was hell. At least no one is doing anything fun this year! (Selfishly)

I've only done one term so far but I wear foam earplugs with big earmuff style ear defenders over the top. Means I can sit next to my 5 year old on the sofa and study while he watches TV.

I understand your struggles. I did my degree with dd1 just under 2 and dd1 5 months. It was challenging but I studied when they are asleep. I'm now doing a 2 year master with 3 kids but they are a bit older now so can get on their own or go on the screen. It is still challenging but doable. You just have to study around them. A couple of hours at night, wake up a bit earlier before the kids and study another hour or so.
What have got me through so far is keeping in mind it is just for a while and at the end of it theres something to show for it, hopefully.
You can do this. Just keep the goal on sight

I'm doing my PGCE and most the times I'm like a zombie. I'm in school between 8-5, then I get play with 3 year old and put her to bed. Then I work until 9.30 in lesson plans and assignments.

DH has had no choice but to start cooking and cleaning every night. Now it's the Christmas break it's let up a bit. I'm taking the reins on cooking again (no offence to DH, but my cooking is better), whilst 3 year old is at nursery I'm ploughing through assignments and need to crack onto job applications before going back to uni next week.

It's hard, don't get me wrong, but it's a mean to an ends. Our family life will benefit from my new career and I'll finally be doing a job that makes me happy!

*dd2 5 months

Weirdly, if I say I need an hour for "school" and then we will go and do X, DD is very well behaved

I would have thought it was possible to work with a child who is someone else’s responsibility in the house.

I appreciate what you're saying but she's not just DH's responsibility. We're a family so she's partially my responsibility too. No she's not in her room all day. This morning DH and her have been in there playing with toys so I've just asked them to go downstairs and it's quieter now which is nice

Ear defenders or really quiet classical music playing in my room when I study. It's better for the ear to tune into something else rather than trying to 'fight' the noise, iyswim? And classical music is good for the brain too.

Seriously though move all the toys downstairs.

Ooh I love a bit of classical music. I forgot I used to use that to study.

It's been bliss the past 90 mins or so DH and DSD being downstairs. I've really been able to focus. I'll have to have a chat with DH about them playing downstairs in the future.