If your kids have left home...

[Mnusernc]

If you could have your time again, and we're fortunate enough to have financial choices, what would you do differently the same?
More holidays? Less work? More savings? Fewer after school activities? More toys /days out /treats?

We're in a lucky position to have a little bit of spare cash suddenly and I'm torn whether to save /invest or think yolo, enjoy the kids while they're young, maximise holidays, home improvements, days out etc for our immediate comfort.

I'm really interested in the perspective of people who's kids have flown and they're able to look back.

Thank you

*were fortunate

Someone once told us, and we didn't listen but I can pass it on to you - when the kids are tiny, they don't need or ask for much so save your money for activities/holidays/whatever for when they are older and have more desires.

Yes I agree with @Chamomileteaplease
When I look back we spent a ridiculous amount on new toys/clothes etc. We should have spent less at that point and saved so that we could have travelled a bit ( holidays etc) once they were old enough to enjoy the experience.

A vote for experiences and time together over toys etc. I only remember a handful of toys from my childhood but I do remember holidays, day trips, building dens, climbing trees etc

I agree with the above comment.My son is 30 and never ever remembers what he got for Christmas/ Birthdays yet always remembers family get togethers and holidays. Time does go by so quicklyWhat has been lovely for me is to be able to help him get started on his path of adulthood with driving lessons, household appliances etc and his first rent deposit.He didnt need these but I personally wanted to do them! Time together over stuff is always something to be invested in and cherished every time..

Days out definitely.

Even simple local walks, or day trips to the seaside with an ice cream.

My children are adults now, dd marked with 2 dgc and 2 adult sons live at home in large loft conversion whilst saving for deposits. I don't regret anything we did. We took children on several holidays to different parts of France, to Germany, several parts of Spain, to Norway, several parts of Italy, Jersey, North Cyprus, Turkey, Ireland, Scotland, Wales and sons on a Med cruise. My dd did Spanish as part of her degree and still is in contact with her childhood Spanish pen friend. I would pick travel as it makes fabulous memories they will always remember. My youngest son once had to write about what he did in summer holidays he made me smile when I read he put he had been up Eiffel Tower and leaning tower of Pisa, then up volcano and under the sea in a yellow Submarine watching divers feed stingray. It was true but teacher had put 'good imagination' as clearly thought he was making it up. Made me smile.

We concentrated on activities that they wanted to do rather than things. Mine didn't have much in the way of clothes or toys but they both went horse riding and played tennis which they continued into adulthood. Money spent on activities was money much better spent in my view and theirs.

Personally I don’t think they want expensive toys/gadgets/holidays or even days out.
What they want is your time and attention, someone sitting on the floor playing with them or really listening.
So personally I would spend any extra cash in freeing up your time, e.g. working less hours getting a cleaner etc.

Definitely travel and experiences. Ours have gained so much from travel: the enjoyment, general knowledge, life skills, to have been there, done that. They have carried this on into their adult lives visiting other countries especially targeting ones that the other hasn’t visited.

Days out and savings

Lots of holidays and that is what they seem to remember
Some big tickets ones like Disney,NYC ,Oz but also short breaks much closer to home
And we went out as a family at some point every weekend

We had a caravan and travelled all over the UK when ours were little. My lovely dad paid for us to goto Disneyland in Florida when dds were age 3 and 5. Totally wasted on them and they said later on they much preferred their beach holidays in Wales. Was a once in a lifetime trip and I'll always be greatful to my lovely dad. We didn't have extra money but had lovely times away in our caravan and days out. Time spent with family and friends is priceless and my girls have lovely memories. Even though they had lots of toys I couldn't tell you what they were as we built up memories. My kids and their friends do remember lots of craft days at our house as we very much into that too. Now my older two have left home and we have dd age 14 here we had lots of fun travelling to friends in the UK before covid hit! I do love spending money on my home though as I love interior design but its all done on a budget and we are very creative. Not sure I've answered your question ha ha. The one thing I do regret though is not taking the girls abroad. We just did that one trip to Florida and I do have a pang of regret they haven't experienced different lives and cultures. Saying that they did spend their teenage years with their horses which took alot of money out of the pot and I don't regret that at all xxx