Something I saw on social media lately reminded me of a close call I had as a 21yo, when I was completely unaware of even the existence of red flags.
I was 21, had my own wee rented house (at a bargain rent as it was a family friend's) and was working PT making enough for rent and living expenses. No savings though.
I met a guy whilst working. He was amazing. He was older than I'd normally go for (33) but lovebombed the hell out of me. Within weeks he was trying to get me to move in with him over an hour away. It was (to me) a whirlwind, true love. After a month I gave in to his constant requests and sulks and agreed to move to his. As I still had a house full of furniture I needed to deal with, I paid my rent as usual and kept the house on. Boyfriend was disappointed I hadn't given my notice and disposed of my stuff. He offered to get his van and help me. I said, "no, it's fine. we'll get round to it, no rush. I've only been here a few weeks" and then when I paid my rent for a second month, 5 weeks after moving to his, boyfriend got really annoyed at this and accused me of not believing in us. I did because I truly thought I loved him, but emptying my house was a mammoth task especially considering I was now paying towards boyfriends house. I'd cancelled everything at home so my only bills there were my tiny rent, the council tax and the occasional gas and electric top ups.
That week a woman started phoning. It turned out, he had only been split from his ex (and toddler's mum) for 6 months. She would phone all day long trying to get me to answer and she even came knocking on the door (BF said she was crazy and to ignore her). So I did. It was fucking awkward. Then within a day or two BF said he needed to sell his house and I'd need to stay at my place for a few weeks while he sorted out a rental. So he dropped me off and he left the next morning. That was it. Ghosted.
I never knew what the hell went on.
Thank god I had dragged my feet for 6 weeks and kept my house on or I'd have been homeless! Life ruined by one bloke who was old enough to know better.
I also found out whilst living there that before I moved in, all his cleaning and washing was done by his mother who lived across the road. She would come to his house every day with her key while he was working. Of course, being the gent he was, he had cancelled his mum out of respect for my privacy when I moved in. Luckily I could do the household stuff instead. Lucky me.
To this day I can't believe how stupid I was.
So, anyone want to share a story and make me feel like I'm not the only person who was as dumb as a box of rocks as a young 'un?